Shaz White
Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
I am depressed I am 44 years old with 2 lovely boys and a husband who doesnt understand me, a family who don't give a s**t and I am a type 1 diabetic!
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Is it just me??
- Thread starter Shaz White
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Shaz White
Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
if I get started I won't be able to stop!!! I have been thinking lately 'Oh it doesn't matter' blah blah blah about so many things in my life I have got to the point I might just explode the question is if something P***'s you off to the max do you tell or not, at the moment I am finding it really hard to not to let rip but I know if I do all hell will break loose!!
All I can recommend for tonight is to sort out in your mind the ONE thing that is possible to improve right now with a bit of effort, and then throw all your energy into that. Once you've taken action on that, you may feel a bit more positive about other changes you can make.
I have an early start in the morning so need to turn in now, but will catch up in the morning. I hope you can get some rest.
I have an early start in the morning so need to turn in now, but will catch up in the morning. I hope you can get some rest.
Copepod
Much missed Moderator
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Not much time to give the time your post deserves, Shaz White, as I need to fit in garden & duck chores before heading to work. However, I can offer some suggestions of things that have helped me when I get fed up of having type 1 daibetes, although never depressed, and I acknowledge there's a big difference between bieing fed up (or p****d off as I say to anyone in the real world, if they ask) and depressed.
I find that trying to analyse the issue behind problems helps me to begin to solve it - in my case, type 1 diabetes did destroy some career options (made professional SCUBA diving, driving minibuses & vans, returning to serve in TA impossible etc), for other activities, it just makes things more difficult. In the world of mountain marathons, adventure races etc, living in fenlands, a long way from hills for training or competing, with a partner who doesn't drive has probably had more impact than diabetes, although obviously diabetes does make endurance sports more difficult.
I find the most important thing is to set myself realistic achievable goals, so that I can look back after each day and recognise that I've done something good, whether for myself or someone else. I don't necessarily rely on someone else recognising what I've done - and often the best feeling comes from doing something for someone else. Difficult to get the balance right, but remember that you are a person in your own right, not only a wife and mother. I guess it all depends on how you view your relationship with husband who doesn't understand you?
Anyway, do keep posting - with more information about your situation, people can help you more.
I find that trying to analyse the issue behind problems helps me to begin to solve it - in my case, type 1 diabetes did destroy some career options (made professional SCUBA diving, driving minibuses & vans, returning to serve in TA impossible etc), for other activities, it just makes things more difficult. In the world of mountain marathons, adventure races etc, living in fenlands, a long way from hills for training or competing, with a partner who doesn't drive has probably had more impact than diabetes, although obviously diabetes does make endurance sports more difficult.
I find the most important thing is to set myself realistic achievable goals, so that I can look back after each day and recognise that I've done something good, whether for myself or someone else. I don't necessarily rely on someone else recognising what I've done - and often the best feeling comes from doing something for someone else. Difficult to get the balance right, but remember that you are a person in your own right, not only a wife and mother. I guess it all depends on how you view your relationship with husband who doesn't understand you?
Anyway, do keep posting - with more information about your situation, people can help you more.
Shaz White
Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Good morning, thank you both for your replies I went to bed last night and thought tomorrow is another day lets start again I woke up this morning with a reading of 3.7 so not great, I need to get my head out this black cloud its stuck in there are far worse things going on in the world!!
Hi Shaz. Just wanted to say it's not just you, I can totally relate to what you said & people's lack of support or understanding just makes it all so much worse when you're already exhausted running around after kids/family, on the bg rollercoaster etc. There is also an acknowledged link between diabetes & depression, so if you feel the dog isn't shifting, & things are getting bad, don't feel bad about seeking support from your gp. I know everyone will give you good tips about exercise, eating well etc etc but I also know how hard that is when...well you probably know what I mean. Be kind to yourself, don't expect too much of yourself when things are like this, it's tough. Best of luck.
margie
Moderator
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Its common for diabetes and depression to go hand in hand - so no you are not the only one.
The insidious thing with depression is that it affects how you feel about everything and thoughts can be distorted. I went through a period when I thought everyone would be better without me but then a tooth broke and I went into coping mode and getting it fixed to avoid an infection and I realised that my brain was playing tricks on me.
If you find things are getting too much - have a word with your Dr who may be able to advise on local support group or if you feel it would help counselling services.
The insidious thing with depression is that it affects how you feel about everything and thoughts can be distorted. I went through a period when I thought everyone would be better without me but then a tooth broke and I went into coping mode and getting it fixed to avoid an infection and I realised that my brain was playing tricks on me.
If you find things are getting too much - have a word with your Dr who may be able to advise on local support group or if you feel it would help counselling services.
Lauren
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Hi Shaz, I am really sorry you are feeling this way
I kind of know how you feel although I have different circumstances - I find it hard to control my Diabetes too, although now I have managed to get it level most of the time I am very sensitive to exercise, changes in temperature, illness etc and because of this I am going through a time where I am unable to do a lot of the sports I used to enjoy. I also work shifts and find that hard too. It's a pain but I just keep testing, testing, testing, and hopefully I will start to see a pattern and will be able to do the things I enjoy again.
I have a family who don't really bother with me much, I left home at 18 and very rarely hear from my Mum, my other relatives I don't really know what's going on with them. Basically we're not a very close-knit family and I feel that I lack the support others get from their parents and family, and I sometimes get jealous and upset.
I had depression in 2010, I felt really awful all the time, was very weepy and the smallest thing would set me off. I didn't want to get up or go outside or do anything really. I went to the GP in the end as I realised I really wasn't feeling myself, they were really lovely and listened to me, offered counselling, gave me self-help books and gave me some anti-depression tablets. I was extremely wary about taking these as I thought they would make me feel really numb and unemotional. In fact, they just made me feel like my old self and I came off them after 6 months feeling much better.
If you haven't already, I definitely recommend seeing your GP, especially if you've been feeling unhappy for a while. And come on here and have a chat with us 🙂 We're always willing to listen. Sometimes it's nice to talk to people who kind of know what you're going through xxx
I kind of know how you feel although I have different circumstances - I find it hard to control my Diabetes too, although now I have managed to get it level most of the time I am very sensitive to exercise, changes in temperature, illness etc and because of this I am going through a time where I am unable to do a lot of the sports I used to enjoy. I also work shifts and find that hard too. It's a pain but I just keep testing, testing, testing, and hopefully I will start to see a pattern and will be able to do the things I enjoy again.
I have a family who don't really bother with me much, I left home at 18 and very rarely hear from my Mum, my other relatives I don't really know what's going on with them. Basically we're not a very close-knit family and I feel that I lack the support others get from their parents and family, and I sometimes get jealous and upset.
I had depression in 2010, I felt really awful all the time, was very weepy and the smallest thing would set me off. I didn't want to get up or go outside or do anything really. I went to the GP in the end as I realised I really wasn't feeling myself, they were really lovely and listened to me, offered counselling, gave me self-help books and gave me some anti-depression tablets. I was extremely wary about taking these as I thought they would make me feel really numb and unemotional. In fact, they just made me feel like my old self and I came off them after 6 months feeling much better.
If you haven't already, I definitely recommend seeing your GP, especially if you've been feeling unhappy for a while. And come on here and have a chat with us 🙂 We're always willing to listen. Sometimes it's nice to talk to people who kind of know what you're going through xxx
MargB
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
Hi Shaz, I am T2 so can't help with T1 things but there are plenty of people on this forum who can share things with you.
As to depression, it is interesting to see your age as I went through a spell when in my early/mid 40s. Eventually a friend talked me into going to the docs and I went to see a counsellor. The age thing to me somehow related to the old 'life begins at 40' but nothing changed!! Looking back from the grand old age of 61 I see that things did change because I made them. The counselling was necessary as I was able to talk about things that had been going round and round and round in my head and to talk to a stranger was safer than saying to other people who could repeat, distort and just generally make things worse. Sometimes hearing my thoughts said out loud helped me deal with them. Mind you, I had to change counsellor a few times as I would not stay with anyone who wanted to tell me what to do. If you do go for counselling, don't accept the first one you meet, unless they allow you to speak and you do feel comfortable with them.
You are who you are and you do not need to apologise for that or try to fit into someone else's vision of who you should be.
Do think about going to the doctor and seeking advice. They have heard all this before and will not think you a loony tune! You are wise to recognise something is not quite right.
As to depression, it is interesting to see your age as I went through a spell when in my early/mid 40s. Eventually a friend talked me into going to the docs and I went to see a counsellor. The age thing to me somehow related to the old 'life begins at 40' but nothing changed!! Looking back from the grand old age of 61 I see that things did change because I made them. The counselling was necessary as I was able to talk about things that had been going round and round and round in my head and to talk to a stranger was safer than saying to other people who could repeat, distort and just generally make things worse. Sometimes hearing my thoughts said out loud helped me deal with them. Mind you, I had to change counsellor a few times as I would not stay with anyone who wanted to tell me what to do. If you do go for counselling, don't accept the first one you meet, unless they allow you to speak and you do feel comfortable with them.
You are who you are and you do not need to apologise for that or try to fit into someone else's vision of who you should be.
Do think about going to the doctor and seeking advice. They have heard all this before and will not think you a loony tune! You are wise to recognise something is not quite right.
Shaz White
Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Thank you for all your lovely replies is makes me want to cry that you have all taken the time to share things with me, Lauren your message hit on something which really hurts me also, my family i.e mum dad & brother don't bother with me at all I have 2 sisters who do contact me every now and again but their all busy with their own lives so its understandable. The one thing I can't get out of my head is why my mum and dad don't bother with me, we haven't argued or anything they just don't bother to contact me they only live 6 miles away but they haven't been to my house in 2 years!! I had Cancer just under 2 years ago and they came to see me once in hospital when I had a major op to remove the Tumour they didn't come to my house after I was home not once. After I had recovered from the Cancer I got really sick everyone thought my cancer had spread but no it was at this point I had developed Type 1 diabetes, I told my sister who told the rest of the family but I didn't have any support, my brothers reaction to be told there was something else wrong with me was 'What now??' am I being paranoid or is this normal family behavior I had had some other trauma in my life before which is another story maybe I will share that one with all you lovely thoughtful people one day, you are like my counselling help line, thank you again rant over for now!
I don't think there's such a thing as a normal family! The family I was born into only very occasionally gets in touch, for complicated reasons over 30 years old. I never bother to even tell them when I have the occasional health crisis because it would accomplish nothing.
I do, however, have a good relationship with my only daughter and her own lovely family. That's what keeps me going.
I do, however, have a good relationship with my only daughter and her own lovely family. That's what keeps me going.
spiritfree
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Hello Shaz. I do have a close family but I am also strugling with depression. I find all the help I get, from these great people, a real help to me. Keep posting and we can all help each other.
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