Is It Just Me?!?...Just no hope left.

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Ellowyne

Ellowyne

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
On January 5th I was put on Levimer: 16 Units

Three months later...I am still on Leveimer, no good Blood sugar control and just on 18 Units. Every time I try to increase my Levimer, I get bad night sweats and stomach cramps, and my Blood Sugars seem to rise even more in the mornings?!...Yet, I am on such a low doses!

I do have terrible problems with my Gallbladder & Pancreaus and have been admitted to hospital again recently again for a Gall bladder infection. Yes, they have offered to operate but I am much too afraid to have the operation. I am very overweight and they say that, although they will try keyhole surgery first, that is is probably going to be a more intrusive surgery that they will have to do to remove it....Maybe it is my Gall bladder that is affecting the problems I have with medication...I don't know? When I was initially put on Metformin I ended up in hospital for 4 days...Gall bladder and suspected Pancreautis!

So, back to the Insulin...My dsn put me on Novarapid, just 6 units to take with my evening meal....Again, stomach cramps and swelling, and within 3 weeks a 2lb weight gain!....My dsn kept telling me that the Insulin can not affect me this way, so, I ahve twice stopped and started...when I stop the syptoms stop, when I start again....the same happens, I know it is the Insulin, but what can I do now?

I have managed to stay on Levimer, 18 Units. My morning fasting is between 11 & 12....This morning, after one slice of Hovis Wholemeal toast and cup of tea, no sugar, my bloods wnt upto 15 in 2 hours!!...I have stopped the Novorapid for now, I can not afford anymore weight gain.

I am just so unsure of where I can go from here?...I have'nt bothered to phone my dsn in over 2 weeks now...Just might as well go on with high levels and let it take it's course...Just don't see any way out.

Sorry if I have mumbled my way through this post, probably none of it makes sense!! Please do not ask me about Metformin or say have I tried it?...Yes, I have and Glicazide....Both had bad effects....Just left with Insulin now, what little I have, not risking gaining anymore weight. I just can not bare my life anymore, there seems no hope or future for me. My family has so many complex problems, my son is very unwell...It's all too much.


Just hate this bloody Diabetes, but well, I'm type 2 and really FAT, so I know that 'IT IS MY FAULT' All the Drs tell me it is and they are right...done this to myself and to my family...I know how nice and supportive you will all be, I thank you all for that...but, you know, for some of us there just is nothing left...but to wait.

Yes, I am feeling MIGHTY sorry for myself...I am that pathetic.
 
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Elllowyne,
I dont have a lot of time because I am about to take Alex and his friends bowling for his birthday, but I just wanted to give a reply.

I suspect that one of the problems is that your levels are running high. High levels will make you feel depressed, so this will be adding to how you feel. You have an enormous amount of stuff to deal with and I think perhaps you need to see your GP and perhaps ask for counselling.

I know the insulin makes you feel ill, but it could just be your body getting used to it. Alex had tummy aches for months after diagnosis. I think it is quite common.
You cant let your levels run high for so long. You know what will happen so i wont spell it out.
I am wondering if you are going very low through the night and this is causing the rebound high in the morning? I know your type 2, but i think some type 2's can have hypos and this will also be adding to your problems.

Please go and talk to your team and even print this message off and show it to them. You are suffering and you need some help. I am so sorry your son is also having problems, i wish him well.

Sorry this is a bit rushed, just wanted you to know that there are people who care and you are not pathetic, your just depressed, if you see your GP and explain it all to him I feel sure he will be able to help you.🙂Bev xxx
 
Thank you Bev...you are very kind to post.

I do know what will happen with my Bloods running high, right now, I just can't seem to find the energy to care...I am tearful all the time, I lose my temper at a drop of a hat, I'm just giving up...What else can I do? Stay on Insulin, get more fat, more Insulin...It's coming anyway, always knew I'd never make old bones, I am putting things in order as I don't think it will be too long before my body gives up the ghost!...Not trying to be over dramatic, and what the hell do I care if people think I am?....I am being realistic!...Thank you again, you are so very kind, as all of you here are.

Love Ellowyne.
 
Hi Ellowyne.
I can't give much advice, I wish I could, but I agree with Bev, go to the docs and ask for councelling. When my levels are high I feel like I might as well end my life because I cant get it right. I'm going to send you my email address and mob number so get in touch any time day or night!! Even if its just to rant and rave. I'm usually up till early hours anyway. I was giving up until I found this site and the past few days have felt like giving up again because of high levels, but I refuse to let it beat me. I want to start a family & have friends and family that want and need me so I must try to stay strong for them
It is going to be hard but I hope with the help and support of everyone on here and by talking to your doctors and care team we will get you through this... together.

Lou xxxx
 
Hi Ellowyne - I know its easier said than done - but try not to get dispirited something will work out.

It sounds to me that you could be going low in the night when you increase the levemir. Have you tried testing at 3 in the morning and seeing what your sugars are then. You might see you are dropping to far.

Your meter reading is meant to be a guide but there is a margin of error with the strips. The margin is around 10% I believe on most meters. So a reading of 11 could be 12 and a reading of 15 could be 13.5. So the increase may not have been as big as it appears. Certainly if you were none diabetic you would get a rise too but you would have started from a lower point.

From what you say you seem very sensitive to medication, it could be that you are reacting to the additives in the insulin. It says on the PIL not to take if you are allergic to the additives - so it could be that you need to try something with different additives.

If you can get your gall-bladder removed. My FIL suffered a couple of times from pancreatitis caused by gall stones blocking the ducts to the pancreas. Whilst the gall-bladder is there there is a chance of a recurrance of the pancreatitis - which is incredibly painful and can be life threatening. You don't need the gall-bladder and with it gone you may find a few of your problems disappear.

I agree with Bev speak to your Dr, or practice nurse- you seem at a low ebb and need someone to help you see a path forward.

Please take care.
 
Thank you so much Lou, you really are very kind...I am in tears reading the post from you and Bev, I know how supportive the member srae here. But, this is diffrnet, it just feels diffrent this time?....I have been having counselling, for post traumatic stress and OCD mailny.

However, my counsellor is Diabetic, so we have talked at great lengh about the problems I have had along the way. The thing is, I have been so beaten over the head with the FAT stick by the Drs that I just don't feel like I can fight this. All they want from me is for me to have the Gastric Bypass Operation...they say that this is the only thing that will save me. But I am so, so afraid, I am terrified!....I am dying, I know I am, I feel it. I know the constant drain of my high sugars is damaging me night and day.

I am a very FAT type 2...I did this to me! If I were a type 1, well, the Drs, they would treat me diffrently, but I'm not. This is it for me, Metformin don't work, Glicazide, don't work..Insulin, well, just makes me fatter...and round I go again!...Some people can not be helped, I am one of them.

Thank you so much Lou, thank you for your email, I would not ever dream of troubling someone with my troubles direct...I would not intrude on you like that. I needed somewhere to vent my feelings, I only have here to come to. It is such a desperately lonely feeling when you feel like you are waiting to die...I can not bare the pain at times.

This is my punishment, for all the years fighting my issues with food, it's been with me almost all my life...I've gone from Anorexic, weighing just 4 1/2 stone at age 14/16...to being a whopping size 25 stone when I was in my twentys. Now, I am 20 stone, I have very little mobility due to a back injury, I have severe nerve damage, Polysistic ovaries, I am on hormone treatment, and high blood pressure. I can't keep up the fight....sorry to ramble, my head is so confused right now....have to stop writing, sorry.
 
Ellowyne said:
Thank you so much Lou, you really are very kind...I am in tears reading the post from you and Bev, I know how supportive the member srae here. But, this is diffrnet, it just feels diffrent this time?....I have been having counselling, for post traumatic stress and OCD mailny.

However, my counsellor is Diabetic, so we have talked at great lengh about the problems I have had along the way. The thing is, I have been so beaten over the head with the FAT stick by the Drs that I just don't feel like I can fight this. All they want from me is for me to have the Gastric Bypass Operation...they say that this is the only thing that will save me. But I am so, so afraid, I am terrified!....I am dying, I know I am, I feel it. I know the constant drain of my high sugars is damaging me night and day.

I am a very FAT type 2...I did this to me! If I were a type 1, well, the Drs, they would treat me diffrently, but I'm not. This is it for me, Metformin don't work, Glicazide, don't work..Insulin, well, just makes me fatter...and round I go again!...Some people can not be helped, I am one of them.

Thank you so much Lou, thank you for your email, I would not ever dream of troubling someone with my troubles direct...I would not intrude on you like that. I needed somewhere to vent my feelings, I only have here to come to. It is such a desperately lonely feeling when you feel like you are waiting to die...I can not bare the pain at times.

This is my punishment, for all the years fighting my issues with food, it's been with me almost all my life...I've gone from Anorexic, weighing just 4 1/2 stone at age 14/16...to being a whopping size 25 stone when I was in my twentys. Now, I am 20 stone, I have very little mobility due to a back injury, I have severe nerve damage, Polysistic ovaries, I am on hormone treatment, and high blood pressure. I can't keep up the fight....sorry to ramble, my head is so confused right now....have to stop writing, sorry.
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Your not intruding or troubling me! I would give you my details if I didnt want you to talk to me about how you feel. As for the fat stick, When I was diagnosed I was 15, and My diabetes doctor told me I was "turning into a fat blob". I am currently around 17 stone and have a bmi of 36 i think so I too need to loose weight. I have very high cholestral, one hand and depression as well as knee trouble so I know what its like to feel the world is against you. Please email me. I want to help. My highest weight was 18 stone and sixe 24 clothes I then got back down to almost a 14 size clothes (not sure of weight) but have since gone back up to size 24 since going back on my insulin so you are not alone.
 
Ellowynne my dear, I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug! What an awful time you are having, I'm not surprised you are feeling so low and despondent. It sounds like you are overwhelmed by everything. I think you should try and just concentrate, for now, on getting one thing right and that is the insulin. As has been suggested, it may be that the increase of levemir may be causing you to fall lower in the night than you are used to - your symptoms certainly seem to suggest that may be the case. Your liver then responds by putting out more glucose and you end up weaking at a higher level. It may be better for you to split the dose - ask your DSN what he/she thinks.

I know it seems to be going on for a long time, but it is quite possible that your body is still getting used to the extra insulin you are now receiving. It took me several months to get back to feeling anything like my old self after diagnosis. If you can get more stable, lower levels then you will begin to feel much, much better. The rise you experienced after eating your toast was not actually very high, it's just that it looks worse as you were starting at quite a high level - I would expect a similar rise, so it is not something you need to worry about.

As for insulin increasing weight - well, it helps the body store glucose more efficiently, so it can contribute to weight gain. But try not to let the fear of weight gain stop you from using the insulin to get your levels down - this is by far the most important thing for you at the moment. One step at a time, and keep posting here to tell us how things are - we are all rooting for you 🙂
 
Thank you, thank you all so much. You know, I can not express how much it means to be able to reach out here when I feel so desperately lonely, thank you for being so kind and supportive.

Yes, Northerner, my DSN has said I might be dropping low in the night, but she just has me going up and down with the Levimer from one week to the next, I never get past the 20 units and I always feel so unwell.

She has not suggested splitting the dose, though I have heard people discuss this in a few posts here. How would I start this process please? Maybe split at the usual time and take the other half in the morning?...My DSN does not know that I have stopped the Novorapid as yet, just could'nt cope with it, the swelling in my stomach and cramps. Did'nt bother telling her because sh says that 'It can not be the Novorapid affecting me like that' Well, when I stop taking it, the cramps stop? The few times I have had a reading of 8, a long time ago, I feel so much better, even though 8 may not be ideal, if I could just get to this number...or even 9!


I just feel so down and so bloody irratable all the time...my OCD is so getting to me, can't control my impulses because I can't think clearly enough.

I'm going to half my Levimer tonight, I must try something, it can't hurt anymore can it?....Half at my usual time and half in the morning...yes?


Must ask, please, can you tell me, can Diabetes cause Thrush?...sorry to ask this, I am so uncomfortable...I think maybe because I can't get my blood sugars down.

Sorry if I am rambling alot, I feel very tense and quite shaky, it's my emotions running high and I can't seem to calm down.....Just keep repeating in my head how this is all my fault...feel consumed with all this and guilt, just going round in circles, so sorry to trouble you all.
 
First Ellowyne: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You did NOT do this to yourself. The latest research shows that weight gain is a result of diabetes not the other way round. Anyone telling you otherwise is just plain wrong. Next time someone says that to you, you tell them so.

I can't advise you when it comes to the insulin as I'm not to that stage yet, but what Bev had to say makes sense to me. Perhaps you need more time for your body to accustom itself to the drugs. I firmly believe that you and your medical team will get it right in the end.

In the mean time, hugs from me too.
 
Hi Ellowynne, do get in contact with your DSN and ask her advice before splitting the levemir. I'm on lantus at night and don't need to split it so I'm not sure of the best way to split levemir. It should also be possible for you to request changing from novorapid to another insulin to see if that is any better for you. It's important that you are happy with your treatment and that it works well for you. I wonder if anxiety about the novorapid is contributing to your stomach cramps? As for the thrush, higher sugar levels can be a contributing factor I believe.

There is one very good thing you can do today...and that is to stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty! I know this is easier said than done, but negative thoughts breed negative feelings. When such thoughts enter your mind, tell them to 's*d off'! and turn your mind to something else - anything else! Think about me giving you that hug! I learned this technique years ago and it really does help 🙂
 
hi Ellowynne. ive only joined the forum a couple of weeks ago after being diganosed, im still learning everything so i cant offer you any advice, sending hugs your way hun xxx
 
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Hi Ellowyne

Yes high blood sugars can cause thrush - it is that which got me to the doctors in the first place years ago and she diagnosed diabetes straight away. I also had a couple of bouts again last autumn when my levels were creeping up.

I am so sorry to hear the problems you are having and I am very cross that they can put you on glicazide then blame you for the lack of weight loss- it was because glicazide makes you gain weight that my DSN wouldn't put me on it😡 I know diet and exercise is supposed to be part of the package but you do need a fighting chance!

I am a little reluctant to add the following in case you have already discussed this and been refused as I understand that you have other health issue which might make it unsuitable, but I have been on Byetta now for 6 months and got my levels under control very quickly and although the initial weight loss has slowed down, I have not put any back on and am persevering with getting the right balance of food to get it shifting again so I highly recommend it. So if this has not been suggested maybe you could speak to your team about it or the alternative but similar medication, Victoza?

Please try to stay positive and keep posting - I really admire you for coming in here and sharing with us - it takes great courage. I wish you all the luck in the world xxx
 
me again 🙂
yes high blood sugars can cause thrush. And i have had to split my levemir. I take 20 units early evening and 20 units late morning. I don't have a dsn at mo so did this on my own. X
 
Thank you again, so much everyone!...Your support is helping me so much, thank you for all the virtual hugs, much needed.

Byetta, I am unable to take :( They will not take the risk because of my Pancreus problems!...Thank you for the thought and your kind support.

Lou, I may try this with my Levimer, I know that maybe I should wait to speak to my DSN, but, I will only have 10 units evening, and 10 ate morning...It can't do anymore harm to my sugars!....Sorry, got to go, I must see to my son, will post a longer message in a bit...Sorry!
 
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