If you worked with someone with a severe needle phobia what would you do?

[MeanMom]

I expect most would be careful other person was not around when you had to test and inject ( out of courtesy) and think no more of it.

But what if that person had tried to take your 'kit' out of your bag or desk. What if that person had (through nobody's fault) walked in on you whilst you were injecting and 'thrown a wobbly', had to be restrained and slightly injured a third person in the process. What if they were 'off sick' the next day? How would you handle this situation?

I ask because my daughter is in this situation - the only difference being it's at school and it's teenagers rather than work and adults.

At present she feels like she has to 'hide' her diabetes and is constantly on guard. She also runs her levels slightly higher than she should to be sure not to have to treat a hypo.

As some of you know K is having councelling but so far no one has come up with a solution (apart from changing class which would be last resort and for other reasons not practical either).

Any suggestions at all would be a help, her current councellor is 'general' one not Diabetes clinic so no experience of this type of thing.

Thanks for 'listening'

MM Xx

 

[novorapidboi26]

That is a tricky one............

Under normal circumstances she shouldn't feel she needs to hide it and I suppose that's a separate issue to deal with.

As far as the phobia is concerned she would just need to be conscious of that single individual, so not feel she is in the wrong, but sympathize on some level with the other students phobia..........

It sounds to me as if it the other student that needs the counseling though....😉

 

[AlisonM]

Sounds to me as though the other person needs the counselling, urgently. Taking someone's meds is a very stupid and dangerous thing to do and they need to understand the damage they might have caused. What were they thinking? Can the other pupil be moved instead of your daughter?

One of my colleagues is terrified of needles so I make sure to jab in the kitchen when she's in, so she can't see it. None of the others mind at all.

 

[shiv]

When I was at uni, the boyfriend of one of my flatmate's was needle phobic. I'm pretty discreet when injecting, but he saw me once (this was before I knew he was needle phobic) and literally leapt out the seat he was sitting in and ran out the room. He came back in as soon as he knew I had put it away and told me - and we just came to a mutual agreement that I would tell him when I needed to inject, and one of us would leave the room. I honestly didn't mind popping out (it wasn't like he was in the flat everyday) if it was easier for me to do that, and he didn't mind going out the room if it was more convenient for him to leave.

 

[heasandford]

surely both parties need to be brought together with an independant counsellor who can see both sides? Where is the Headteacher, this one has serious implications

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Hi MM,
from reading your other posts about this little madam in K's class, I would complain about the theft of K's equipment for starters 😡 She sure aint scared of needles etc if she can take the kit.
From what I have read she is infact bullying K which is not on. So you need to address this quite firmly with the school and get it sorted.
Point out all the problems K has to face in later life with running higher numbers due to the situation and also claim discrimination against K.
I bet that will get the school moving.
Perhaps suggest they arange councelling for the little madam as one of the options.

 

[Ellie Jones]

If somebody tried to take my kit out of my bag, I would hit them and scream blue murder theft... As this is was the girl is doing stealing your daughters kit..

Personally I would tell the school if this girl ever tries to take K's kit out of her bag again, you will be making a formal complaint of attempted theft of medical equipment to the police..

I've got a feeling that this girl isn't as needle phobic has she says she is, due to if she reacted with aggressive and violent behaviour yet she can actually attempt to take out K's kit doesn't add up... My old work colleague would wobble and feel faint just knowing my kit was on the side... But if she walked in on me unexpectedly she wouldn't have taken it out on me or anybody else but make a hasty retreat to recompose herself...

I would speak to the school, point out her behaviour and reaction highly suggest this girl is making trouble for K, and using her behaviour/reaction also to avoid being punished for attempt theft and assault and this needs to be addressed..

A message for K, please don't take the horrible individual to heart, you have a right to inject and/or test your blood when you need... As long as you are taking due caution and consideration then if she walks in, it's her problem alone not yours.. Perhaps you could ask for an insulin pump, then apart from your BG test everything is just a couple of button presses... Discuss this with your mum... Pumps are really good in many ways I know I've been using one for 4 years..

 

[MeanMom]

Perhaps I should add that

1 other girl is allocated a TA in class and therefore must have special educational needs (but school cannot understandably tell me what they are)

2 until K has her cataract operation (and possibly after) she is expected to share the TA with the other girl. This is why K cannot change class as she will have no help from TA.

The above add to K's anxiety about the situation.

 

[Ellie Jones]

Doesn't matter what educational needs this other girl has she still got to maintain a suitable standard of behaviour... If this can't be achieved with the help of a TA, then the school has to do something about it.. Otherwise it will impact on K's schooling and could hold her back from fulfilling her full potential which is discriminating against K...

I would speak to OFSEAD, as I'm sure that like Care Standards, you can as an individual make a complaint to them concerning the school and K's individual treatment...

The school should be bringing in another TA, if this girl is giving K grieve and the situation can't be sorted without K moving to another class..

 

[Robster65]

Agree totally with Sue and Ellie.

The other girl sounds manipulative but obviously has problems that mitigate this behaviour in the school's eyes.

As Ellie says, a 2nd TA is needed since the sharing is compromising and potentially worsening K's problems. If they are seen to be causing harm in any way, surely the school could face a legal threat.

Maybe a solicitor with experience in education could advise. The school sound like they're trying to protect the other girl at K's expense.

ROb

 

[newbs]

I totally agree too. Your daughter is not in the wrong here at all, far from it. The other girl has serious issues that need dealing with and if anyone should change classes it is definitely her, special needs doesn't come in to it. K has to have her kit on her and deal with her diabetes, end of. The other girl's phobia is not life-threatening (or true by the sounds of it).

I would speak to the school again if it were my daughter, I hope you get somewhere with this, awful situation for K to be in.

 

[Abi]

As others have stated the pupil clearly is not needle phobic if she has removed your daughter's kit. This behaviour is totally unaccpetable and I agree you should make it clear that should it happen again you will report it to the police.
Very often from other threads, sometimes on other fora, a person with true needle phobia is less hostile than a person who is purely acting up.
In the case of a true phobia an element of compromise and mutual compassion is needed- on the one hand the person with diabetes is living with an extremely dangerous condtion which is however controllable with the correct management- and therefore the individual needs to be permitted to self manage with minimum interuption to their education or working day.
On the other hand a true phobia is no easy condition to live with and if that person is ever ill, victim of an accident, needs an operation, decides to have a baby or a loved one of their's develops a serious medical condtion they are going to be in trouble and need a lot of support

 

[Tina63]

This makes me sooooo mad. Poor K being victimised like this. It's really not on.

The only thing I would add to the above is would it be worth writing to the school governors? I believe they are duty bound to follow up any complaints, and do a proper enquiry and respond to you in writing if that is how you have contacted them.

Your daughter has a life threatening condition, and there is no way she should be prevented from taking appropriate measures to keep herself well, and you certainly don't want a situation like this causing you any more problems than you already face. No doubt this person is half the reason your daughter needs to see a counsellor. Of course it is going to load on more anxiety. It really does make me feel cross. I take it this TA is the only one in the class? If there was another one, could K share her instead?

I do hope you can get some proper action here. I know this has been carrying on for some time, and it's just not fair for K having to put up with this all the time.

Do put your assertive hat on and stand up for your daughter, we are all behind you!

Good luck.
Tina

 

[MeanMom]

Thank you everyone. I asked the question on here because I have been accused in real life of being 'precious' about it and that I should be grateful for any help school willing to give K, as she does not have a 'statement'.

School do know my feelings on the subject but will not discuss other girl as her 'problems' are not something they can discuss with me.

If they move either girl they say K will not have help of TA - they have 2 TA's in whole school (approx 1000 pupils) - have been told very unlikely they will get another - they are an Academy and a Grammar so control own budget.

I think from the (kind) responses that I will contact a legal advisor to see what the position is. The only solution I can see is separating the girls, but K needs help in class at least in the short term. Although I am trying to get support from GP/CAMHS/Opthometrist to allow her to stay off school til cataract op. She will anyway I believe

 

[Hanmillmum]

Best of luck MM, must be incredibly frustrating for you!

I've nothing new to add but at face value from what you have written, this other girl sounds like a histrionic madam! I hope she doesn't continue to compromise K's treatment and health, I hope there is someone who will take this on for you and help get it sorted x

 

[Monica]

I'm shocked this is still going on!!! No wonder K doesn't want to go to school.
School is behaving absolutely inappropriately. You are not precious about K. Sharing a TA with this girl is inappropriate and it's the school's duty to make sure K and this girl aren't together, due to this girl's "histrionics". Everyone else has already said what I think about this situation, so I won't repeat it again.

When will K have her op? I thought you said not for a long time yet. You can homeschool her if you want. I don't think you need the GP's permission. On CWD there are quite a few mums who homeschool. But don't ask me how it works, I haven't a clue.

Lots of hugs for you and K xxxx

P.S. I don't believe she's needle phobic

 

[Catwoman76]

I expect most would be careful other person was not around when you had to test and inject ( out of courtesy) and think no more of it.

But what if that person had tried to take your 'kit' out of your bag or desk. What if that person had (through nobody's fault) walked in on you whilst you were injecting and 'thrown a wobbly', had to be restrained and slightly injured a third person in the process. What if they were 'off sick' the next day? How would you handle this situation?

I ask because my daughter is in this situation - the only difference being it's at school and it's teenagers rather than work and adults.

At present she feels like she has to 'hide' her diabetes and is constantly on guard. She also runs her levels slightly higher than she should to be sure not to have to treat a hypo.

As some of you know K is having councelling but so far no one has come up with a solution (apart from changing class which would be last resort and for other reasons not practical either).

Any suggestions at all would be a help, her current councellor is 'general' one not Diabetes clinic so no experience of this type of thing.

Thanks for 'listening'

MM Xx

That is an awful thing to happen to K. As for the other child with a neddle phobia, how could she manage to take/steal K's kit, if it contains needles etc and testing equipment? with this phobia 😱 I don't understand that. I think a talk or a mediation meeting with both children and an independant mediator, with the Head teacher or deputy head present to try and resolve some of the issues. It must be so distressing for K, because the medication she takes, insulin is her lifesaver, it's not a cough, cold or a ear or chest infection that will clear up, this disease is for life.

I am now wondering if the other child has a real phobia about needles and injecting or just doesn't like medical things and gets knots in her tummy, like I do, (I'm a bit of a wuss with medical stuff, turns my stomach!!!!!!!!). I'm not saying the other child is making it up or lying, but, maybe, over dramatising things for their own advantage, so maybe ( just maybe) it is not a phobia after all.

At least we are now on Easter holidays and she can have a little break from school now. I hope K is okay and she finds the next couple of weeks more peaceful and pleasant. Please give K my best wishes Sheena

 

[Cate]

Someone mentioned homeschooling, to do that all you'd need to do is write to the school "deregistering" K from the role of pupils. But in doing so you'd be giving up her place at the school, so she may not be able to return after her op if they'd filled her place.

There's something else called flexi-schooling, which might be more appropriate, where she attends school part time and is home ed part time, maybe you could take a look at that if you think it might suit.

Also, don't think that being home ed means sitting at a desk during school hours - all sorts of things count, and nobody checks up on what youre doing. So she could work on a project on something she enjoys, or learn a new skill, listen to audiobooks/language tapes, etc etc.

I don't know how affected her sight is right now, but take a look at the Hertfordshire e-library sevice (you can join from anywhere in the UK and download books to PCs, iPods etc), also Listening Books has a reasonable selection - Herts is better for teenage type stuff though.

Hope you manage to get something sorted soon.

 

[Twitchy]

Hi MM,

I'm so sorry to hear K's going through all this - not what any of us would want to go through, at any time! Like the others have said, it doesn't sound like a proper needle phobia to me, if this horrid person is able to go rummaging around in K's kit!

One thing I wanted to say, from experience - if you feel the need to go formal with the school on this, then if you make sure you follow the school's complaints policy to the letter you will help the governors to help you, as it were - I think the process is raise it with the teacher, then if no joy the head teacher, then if still not happy write a letter to the Chair of the Governors c/o the school. This is how it works for an LEA anyway, but I suspect it would be similar. The school should be being supportive under the disabilities legislation anyway, so you certainly aren't being precious - and we only get one shot at childhood so why should K spend it being distressed by obnoxious behaviour such as that of the 'needle phobic' kid?! 😡

Hope this situation gets sorted soon, and doesn't knock K's confidence - the problem is with the other kid, not K!!

Take care, hugs to you both. xxx

 

[Northerner]

Some friends of mine who live down the road home school their two daughters and they are wonderful, bright and intelligent and have so much fun. There are meetings at the local library where they get together with other home schoolers and they do all sorts of activities that they probably wouldn't get to do from going to school every day. As there are lots of others they are not deprived of social contact, so it's certainly not a case of sitting at home with Mum or Dad all the time.

This is such an important time for K and she has enough to deal with. I feel, from what you say, that the school are underestimating K's challenges and overestimating the 'phobia girl's' K should not be made to feel that her diabetes is a problem for anyone and should be allowed to deal with it without fuss and drama!