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I Need To Rant

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M

Mumlé

Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am so fed up of cooking. I don't even want to cook for myself any more. (But even though I am not diabetic I get really cranky if I don't eat properly and on time, so that's not much help). Weighing everything out. Calculating stuff. Having to go on an expedition to Boots to get those kiddy food pouch things suitable for potential airport delays for Lola. I do not want to have to estimate or get the scales out at the airport. So we all trekked off and it took practically the whole afternoon (as a "trip" like that normally would with 2 children aged 1 and 3). But I couldn't do any other shopping at all (which I would have liked to because it's christmas) because L has a limited time being happy shopping. So the whole thing was just about food. Just because the chemist over the road doesn't have baby food. Thinking about food just is ALL THAT I DO. Then I forget that the reason L might be extra grumpy is that she might be low. Twice in the last couple of days. It was so obvious, but she can't talk yet so I just forgot and thought tired/teething/being one/etc.

If the planes are cancelled because of the snow I am going to get VERY CROSS. I wish mum and dad lived nearer. They only live in England (I'm in Ireland) but that's far enough. My partner's parents (who are here) are basically too old to cope with helping out reliably. I just want a break. Can you get respite? I just filled in a DLA form. But then I say to myself, surely it's no worse than looking after small kids, full stop.

I think I have never found it easy looking after and entertaining small children (easier when they are older), so this is just such a challenge. A lady said to me the other day basically - you are given children that you can cope with (eg - she wasn't given "disabled" children because she wouldn't have coped). What a load of ****. You cope because you do not have a choice.
 
You're certainly right about your last sentence Charlotte, it's a bit like people saying they could never inject themselves - they would if they had to! Sorry to hear that things seem so overwhelming at the moment. I can't offer any advice regarding children - especially children with diabetes - as I don't have any. Although I often resent having to think about food everytime I buy or eat it, it must be so much harder when you are having to think for someone else, especially when they are so young and there are so many extra factors to consider.

The best people to answer your questions are the other parents, so hopefully they will be along to help. From an adult point of view, I have found that it does get easier. You become familiar with a lot of what is eaten, what is good, bad, or indifferent when shopping, and also you get much, much better at 'eyeballing' food and estimating carbs. Have you got the Carbs and Cals visual guide? A lot of people find it helps them estimate popular meals in different quantities.

Are there any other parents of diabetic children in your area? Might be worth enquiring at your clinic as often a get together can really help remove a lot of the isolation from normality you can feel when you can talk to people who really 'get it' 🙂
 
Hi Charlotteking,

I can feel your stress from here and I have felt exactly like you do now.😱

I absolutely promise you that it does get easier carb counting. The way I did it was to stop weighing things and guessing - but then of course I weighed them afterwards to check I was right and this is the only way to get it into your head. Also - you need to buy the carbs and cals that Northerner has suggested - we have the ipod version and it is so much easier when eating out to look at a picture. But also remember that you might get it wrong sometimes because you dont know what extra things they put into food in restaurants - but give yourself a break and dont worry if you get it wrong - we have all done it.

You sound very tired and stressed to me which is understandable - but you need to start to make some time for yourself. Could you leave Lola with dad for an hour sometimes while you have some 'me' time. I am not saying this will take away the whole of the stress to do with diabetes - but it will help to re-charge your batteries.

Also, a good friend of mine told me to start picking my battles. So I decided to only get worried about things I could change and things like untidy bedrooms just became unimportant in the big scheme of things. Do what you need to do and learn to say 'NO' sometimes. You cannot be all things to all men as you are not a robot - so I would suggest sitting down and writing a list of what things you are prepared to 'let go' of in order to keep your sanity and what things are too important to you to not 'let go' of. Prioritise your daily life into 'have to do' and 'could do if I feel like it' and this way you will 'free' up some of your energy to be able to relax and see things for what they are.

I cant help you with the respite idea - its something we would all like as its so tiring as a parent isnt it. But, you can change the way you deal with stress and this will in turn help you to feel that you are in control of diabetes and not the other way around.

Have you joined the CWD group - it is full of parents just like us who understand and will be there to support you through it all.🙂Bev
 
Hi Charlotte

I know how you feel with food 🙂 My son is coming home form uni tomorrow and usually I whip round the shops in 10 mins picking up all his favourite foods for Christmas and not giving it a second thought.

This year I am thinking about food a lot more and it the first early weeks after diagnosis I couldn't shop at all without ending up frustrated or in tears...so I understand.

My son is older though (20) and to be honest he is not bad at estimating carbs and I was amazed when he last came home that he can quickly calculate things on his plate. He has an ipod application to help. I am trying not to measure and weigh too much as this would drive me mad too. I appreciate your child younger and this must be harder..

Just wanted you to know you are not on your own.....but I am sure it gets easier. Take care x
 
I don't need to rant now

thank you for kind comments - will look up the CWD site. I got away to england for a few days (must have been one of the lucky few to get away in a snow storm after they de-iced the plane about 10 times with us in it...). A very relaxing time as my two could play with their cousins the same age - just relaxing when you don't have to entertain all the time. Now we are just trying to catch up on sleep - tricky... But I will defo try to work out some ways of taking some stresses out of the equation for my new years resolution. Luckily when Lo is on good form she is the cutest thing ever. Happy christmas everyone
 
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