I have been so down, and stupid

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Hazel

Hazel

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Apart from meds for Diabetes, I am currently being treated for depression.

I cannot get a job, financially stuffed. plus a number of other issues, I am so very down, can't raise myself. Stupidly, I stopped taking my diabetic meds (for no more than 10 days), just could not motivate myself to even inject insulin and I have been skipping meals and eating trash when I do.

Thought I would test - wow, 31.5. What was I thinking, my average reading, I had got down to between 5 and 7.

So, I am back on track, please God - I hope you will help me through this dark time.

I just wanted to say to everyone, no matter how rotten you feel, please do not stop taking your diabetic meds. On top of the depression I am currently being treated for, now I will have a tough couple of weeks trying to get my readings back to some sort of normality. I can't believe I have been so very stupid. So, off now to stock up on diabetic meds, decent food and a new start.

Wishing all my diabetic family well.

God bless

Hazel
 
hi there Hazel so pleased you posted , we all have blips all of us have been there hun , sometimes we all just get fed up and need a blow-out, the thing is to realise we cant all be perfect all of the time , things can get on top of us and you said you have depression on top of the diabetes which can not be easy for you, skipping meds really is not good but i cant talk as i stopped taking my pills for about 5 days but got it sorted at docs,its good to hear you are back on track now and are taking your meds, a new start sounds the perfecy remedy, please take care of yourself we are here for you xx
 
So sorry to hear that you have been feeling down Hazel. It's a vicious circle, because your levels going high is only going to make you feel worse - so pleased to hear that you are determined to get back on track🙂 Sometimes I feel completely hopeless too - I tend to 'self-medicate' with alcohol, which is a stupid thing to do as it only makes me feel worse! You will feel so much better when your levels have stabilised - try to eat as healthily as you can and getting a bit of exercise will get those endorphins flowing!

Hope the work situation changes for the better, and soon🙂
 
Dear Hazel, thank you for posting how you've been feeling especially as it gives a warning to anyone of us how NOT to react to feeling down - i.e. stopping taking meds etc.

I admire your honesty and the way you are motivated to get back on track.

Do take care of yourself in the meantime - post here for any reason, good or bad, and keep us up to speed with how you are doing.

Go for it Girl ! Sending hugs,
 
Hi Hazel
Thank you for posting. So glad to hear that you've tested and acted on the results, despite everything you have in addition to diabetes. And thanks for reminding everyone of priorities. Hope you've had a good meal by now - something you like and not too bad for you! I tend to stock up on oatcakes when I'm in Scotland, but I don't know if you like them or how they affect your blood glucose levels?
How are you managing with your depression treatment? Tablets, talking etc? No need to explain in public, just want you to know that we think of other health aspects, not just diabetes.
Are you getting any help from Job Centre Plus in your job search - I realise they're nowhere near perfect, but sometimes they can help with training etc, particularly if you have health issues.
 
Hi Hazel , thankyou for posting this , it reminds the rest of us that we are not the only ones going through this . I admire your honesty ! it proves you are not only being honest with us but also to yourself !! Well done on snapping yourself out of it and getting back on track , thats usually the hardest thing to do , its easy to let things slide especially if you are depressed. I have had times when its been easier not to bother and too much effort to look after myself , depression is a terrible thing :( I'm glad you are feeling more possitive !!! keep up the healthy eating and meds! Remember you are never on your own , there is always someone who knows exactly how you feel , we are all here whenever you need us , for the good times and the bad. 🙂Take care x A.M
 
No Hazel, not stupid. Depression can make us do the most self-destructive things at times. I'm in the same fix you are, on the dole, signed off last week for depression and really struggling financially, it's soul destroying at times and the constant worrying doesn't help in the least. Witness my wobbler yesterday when everything got on top of me.

I'm so glad you've got yourself back on track, I nearly fainted when I saw that 31.5! My best advice would be to use this place to vent whenever you need to. I've already learnt that they'll rally round with all the 'virtual' support you could possibly want. Tell your counsellor too, it may be that whatever pill they have you on isn't doing the job as well as it should.

((((HUGS))))
 
Hi Hazel, got to admire your honesty. Glad to read that you're getting yourself back on track diabetes-wise, hope your BG levels sort themselves out (well, with a helping hand from you!!) very soon.

Thanks for the reminder of how very important our prescribed meds are.

Take care.

xx
 
Hi hazel, I hope you are feeling better. We all have lows and feel like the pits. I think you have probably done the most difficult hing and the best thing you could, you shared how you are feeling with us. At least you are able to sort things out and get back on track. Please keep talking and getting better.
 
Hi Hazel, you're certainly not alone I've got a dual diagnosis which includes depression and a year after that diagnosis, I was diagnosed with diabetes and shortly after that I lost my job due to my MH problems.
Congratulations on pulling yourself out of that situation - I've been there so many times I think I might apply for a share in the film/t-shirt/book rights 🙂 It doesn't happen that often with me as both my CPN and a friend (who has type 1) both know I have a problem with taking meds and they know to watch for the warning signs & to keep checking up on me.
Okay, stopping meds isn't the wisest thing to be doing but at the back of your mind you were thinking about yourself and that's why you tested your BG levels which was a smart thing to do. The really stupid thing would have been to do nothing about that result but you chose to do something about it and go back on your meds so I congratulate you for that wise decision.
Sometimes, it helps to talk to someone who understands your situation through their own personal experience so feel free to private message me if you want to chat or just let off steam. I might not know the answers but I'm prepared to listen 🙂
 
Hi Hazel,
So sorry you've been feeling down. But dont call yourself stupid- depression can take away any logic - you cant help being depressed. Sadly though you probably felt more depressed because you were running so high - so vicious circle.
The way to look at this is that you have had a 'blip' and now your back on track - somewhere in the back of your mind you must have been worried about your levels to test! Try not to give yourself a hard time - its not the end of the world to have been remiss for a short time - and your getting things back to normal now - so i am sure this will help you with your depression.
I think your very brave and i hope you start to feel on top of things very soon - we will always be here for you and will help in any way we can. Just be gentle on yourself and takes things slowly. Do you have any hobbies that might help to take your mind off things? Even going for a walk will help both your levels and produce the 'happy hormones'! If i was there i would give you a huge big hug - so i am sending you one instead! Let us know how things are and i wish you well with everything.🙂Bev xxx
 
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My sincere thanks to my diabetic family for replying. Thanks for the offer of hugs, that is much appreciated. My late mother believed strongly in hugs and they do help, so thank you. I will keep in mind your kind offers of PM messaging too.

Got the meds, have made up 3 weeks worth (in separate plastic pencil cases), with needles, pills and insulin, etc. so that will give me a good start. I have also set the alarm on my Accu Check Aviva monitor at 3 regular intervals to remind me to test, take pills, and inject, etc.

Tesco is almost stripped of all 'good' foods. A number of them are salad related, with, mackeral. or tuna, or chicken - so I don't have to gee myself to cook for the first few days. What I will have to do though, is to start measuring carb values properly, as insulin dosage is dependant on that.

Just bought the book, the latest Dan Brown - so I will go now and ltry to lose myself in that.

Again, thank you so very much for all your kind wishes.

Hazel
 
Good to hear that :D Alarms are really useful, I've got to take meds up to 6 times a day so I've got alarms set on my iPhone diary to remind me each day as well as a reminder to renew my prescription every month. Good luck with it and enjoy the book *hugs*
 
Thank you hazel Its good to know that im not alone with depression,dole and diabetes, I have been taking sertonin uplift inhibiter for over 10 years now 100mg of sertraline! and Im so glad i have it. most importantly i understand why i take it...because the little happy hormones decide to rush fast out of me ... I wish It has been recognised when i was younger and it would have been so less pain ful. I get terrible blips still. worse ever last weekend when i literally went to bed for 4 days and when i was up i was crying. I hadnt been testing, but i did take my meds. Being diagnoised with diabetes has sort of helped because i can make sense of my mood swings, my viscous cycle. like yours means i feel crap, eat crap and act crap. today for example i had to sign on...money will stop in next to weeks as i am on jsa contribution based.... They cant help me at job centre ..just offered retraining. Now, i spent 5years at college training to be an architect. I just need skill updating on computer drawing...not retraining!! the course costs ?450 for 10 weeks but they cant help!!! grrr the frustration drives me nuts!
But I found this network and with the support and advice it has already helped as i know now i have somewhere to go when i need it, not just a 15 min consultation when my mind goes blank and i cant remember anything.PM me if you wish xx
 
am64 said:
They cant help me at job centre ..just offered retraining. Now, i spent 5years at college training to be an architect. I just need skill updating on computer drawing...not retraining!! the course costs ?450 for 10 weeks but they cant help!!! grrr the frustration drives me nuts!
But I found this network and with the support and advice it has already helped as i know now i have somewhere to go when i need it, not just a 15 min consultation when my mind goes blank and i cant remember anything.PM me if you wish xx
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Good to hear you're feeling a bit better Hazel, its a horrible place to be. Enjoy your book!

Am, not sure how old you are, but if you're under 25, you could try asking for help from The Prince Trust.
 
runner said:
Good to hear you're feeling a bit better Hazel, its a horrible place to be. Enjoy your book!

Am, not sure how old you are, but if you're under 25, you could try asking for help from The Prince Trust.
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Thanks for your thoughts unfortunately that possiblity ran out many years ago! I am just frustrated as I apply for just general skills job but they say I am over qualified, but cos my auto cad skills are self taught I cant compete with the younger architects ! never mind its just the recession.🙄
 
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