I hate being diabetic

[sweetsatin]

Hi all...
long time since i have been in here....sorry folks but been going through a real bad time lately.
I moved in August to a new area to be close to my family, unfortunately i still don't get to see them regular, not that i would ask for their help anyway.
Since moving my diabetes has been fantastic.
hbA1c AT..... 5.3 IN Sept
Weight down from 13 st - 9st.6
Feeling good well was untill reality kicked in.
I went for a drink with a friend i had 1 half pint of beer that was all
I got home and for some unknown reason
i tested my blood it was 3.2, having no symtoms at all.
I am diet controled if i hadn't of tested my blood would i have gone hypo?
This is really worrieing me, my sugars have been between 4 & 7
since being diagnosed in April this year, my hbA1c are as follows
April 8.2 on diagnosis
July 6.o
Sept 5.0
Yes the figures are good but now i am going through a real bad depression right now, not knowing what do with my life i was enjoying the drink was the 1st one in 4 years lol.... but if my blood sugars drop so quickly i don't want to take any chances. at the same time i don't want the diabetes to control my life.
Think the depression is living on my own and still not seeing my family regular as they have their own lives to live....it is also fear of being ill and on my own.
I feel stupid writing this but at the moment i coudn't care less.
If i was ill in my flat i do have a cord to pull in real emergencies... its just the living alone i need to adapt to as i am not good with my own company, i have always had someone around.
I just hope the depression and the tears eases off
I feel that even a drink is against me what a social life.
J hate being diabetic life stinks right now and my new doctor is so arrogant and no help at all.
Has anyone else gone through a simular problem as me? or any advice is apreciated.

 

[bev]

Hi Sweetsatin,

I wondered where you had gone!

I cant really comment much about type 2 levels (i.e. hypo)as i dont know enough to comment. But i just wanted to say that the rest of your levels are brilliant and i hope one day to get Alex's like this - in my dreams!

Really sorry your feeling down -but i think its pretty normal to feel a bit low in a new area with no real friends etc. I would say you have to start finding out what clubs or voluntary services are around the area for you to join. These sort of places are perfect for making new friends. Remember, no-one will come knocking on your door if they dont know you! You have to 'put yourself out there' so to speak and let people know your up for making new friends - I am sure there are people in the same position as you who would welcome some company. How about joining the local walking group?What about the WI?
Do your family know how you feel? I am sure if they did, they would offer more support.

Not sure if i have helped - but hope you feel better soon and very glad your back with us!🙂Bev x

 

[vince13]

Hi Sweetsatin, it's good to hear from you again but I'm sorry that you are feeling so down. I know you quote the reasons (family, hypo symptons etc) but its' really just "one thing after another" that gets us down doesn't it ?

Your levels have been so good and your weight loss too - so congrats on that - all that is so positive that you probably feel guilty when feeling low about other things.

I know I get down from time to time and can't really come to terms with this blasted Condition - and the thought of winter long dark nights doesn't lift your spirits any either.

It's not much help to say that we all know how you feel - from tme to time it gets to all of us I guess - so I can't offer any answers but just wanted to send big hugs and let you know we are here for you to chat to, rant to, ask anything -someone else will have more constructive ideas than me so don't give up.

All best wishes - pl let us know how you are getting on from time to time - you DO matter to us too, you know.

 

[Northerner]

My dear, so pleased to see you posting again, but very sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. Yuo have done fantastically well to get such an excellent weight loss and HbA1c.

As for the drink...well, 3.2 is low but it's actually what a non-diabetic person might experience - 3.3 is quite normal for the non-Ds, and there's always an element of inaccuracy in meters. So I don't think you need to worry about that. The liver stops releasing its own glucose when it is processing alcohol, so the best thing to do is have a snack - crisps, chips etc. are fine with a drink once in a while. With such excellent figures you can afford to relax a little and treat yourself every now and then. It's unlikely, I think, that you would drop really low, you were just at the lower limit of normal. People on insulin and meds like gliclazide are prone to hypos because once taken, if it's too much you can't just stop it. Your body will react before you get too low to balance you out. Just have a little snack if you drop below 4 - a biscuit or a couple of sweets will do the trick.

Do try and get your family more involved in your life - I'm sure that would be upset to think that you are feeling down but that you can't seek out their company. It's a symptom of depression to hide yourself away a little - I know because I do it myself.

I'd like to give you a big virtual {{{{{HUG}}}}} because I think you have done tremendously well!🙂

 

[Steff]

hi there sweet so nice to see you back posting again sorry your feeling so down , as i looked through your post i thought wow thise fugures are great id love mine to be like that , but i know thats not always whats going to make us smile , i go through something similier where my family are concerned i dont see them often and i see my dad 3-4 times a year it is very hard when you feEL so isolated and you feel like nobody else understands, reading through your post i thought wow this lady is going through the same as me right now, Tuesday night it all came to a head when i just totally lost it while sitting in the bath and cried untill o/h came in and sorted me out , anyways im seeing doc about this as it all stems from my depression it hits you like a bolt you can be fine then next minute you are in a heap sobbing it is so difficult sometimes

if you ever need a chat sweet PM me xx

 

[AlisonM]

Hi Sweetsatin,

It's really hard coming to terms with this disease, I was only diagnosed a few weeks ago and I'm having a difficult time with it. As Steff says, I can be sailing along fine one minute and the next in floods. It happened to me this morning, so I'm now sitting here painting my nails a bright violet, the colour is so wild it makes me chuckle, and since my hands are a little shaky, I'm not making a real good job of it. Later I'm going to take the dog for a walk, that always works.

Your readings are amazing and you've done really well getting them there. Congrats on that. It's good too that you've decided to come back in here and have a wee vent. It's the best place for it I've found. Everyone is so supportive.

 

[katie]

Hi Sweetsatin! It's so good to hear from you 🙂

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down though, think we have all been there. I can't really add to the advice that's already been given. Northerner is right about the 'hypo' it was likely to just be a low level and completely normal. Please don't be afraid to have another drink - you deserve to enjoy yourself! So just try having a snack next time and see how it goes. And as Bev said, joining some kind of group in a new area is a very good idea and that is what I would do.

Very well done on the weight loss 😱 that's amazing! and your levels are sooo good.

Please come back soon xx

 

[sweetsatin]

Hi Vince, Bev & Northerner
Bev I have been out and about and am starting with the local c.a.b soon so that will keep me busy 🙂
But the area i have moved to is nottingham where i was born n bred but all places change when being away from your home routes.
its just the being alone at night and the nights are getting colder and darker earlier yuk... not the same without anyone to snuggle up to lol

Bev i hope Alex is ok and maybe one day his levels will suprise you in a good way i mean.
I never tell my family how i feel as they are too young and got their own lives to live. my youngest one is 19 and is away with her boy friend every week shes only in her flat for 2 days a week lol.. i see her for half hour a week
The other daughter has a young kids and heavily pregnant so i can't really talk to her, at the same time i am trying to explain to them about diabetes as i think they are scared to be with me. I have left them leaflets and web links but they won't sit and look through it as mum is ok and never gets ill ....i wish...
Its so hard for them to accept and in their eyes i am their mum and mums never get ill....I try to tell them when i'm not well and can't do things like i use to for them but they don't listen to me i am not allowed to be ill or depressed. me being soft gives in and still go out my way to help feeling ill or not....i have got to learn to say no too.

Vince
Thank you for your reply yes its hard to come to terms with and i know there are people out there worse than myself yes we are all going through depression occasionally or have already been there on and off.
Thanks for the hug i need it right now 🙂
Thank you for reading this and letting me chant on i aprciate all replies and advice.
Vince it is comforting to know you are all here for me and your replie shows me you all do really care, hugs to you too my friend.

Northerner
Good to see your still here lol
Thank you for the hug i need it right now, but i am just going through a bad patch of depression and feeling low everything seems negative.
I do have an appt to see a nurse today as i have had to change my doctor again here too as the other one was so negative.
maybe she will be able to sort me out with a few answers ect.
All your replies have been so helpful thank you all, its so good to be able to come in here and rant on, sorry for the negative post but i will get out of this patch of depression very soon, being menapaucal don't help either.
The good bit about droping in levels after a drink is i can have a piece of chocolate that i keep in my bag....the little bit of chocolate gatue was good too that night hehe!
I will keep you all posted and will be in here when i can.
will be in better spirits next time.

 

[sweetsatin]

Hi Steff & Alison
Sorry to hear you have are going through the same....
yes it does hit you unexpectedly, not having been through this before it comes as a big shock.
One minute i was fine then suddenly bang ....tears and negative thoughts....
Alison
when you finished with your nails come n do mine lol the colour sounds wild but i'm up for it lol anything for a laugh at the moment.
Go take the dog for a walk before you have a puddle to mop up lol
Yes everyone is very supportive here and i am so pleased i have got friends like you all here to rant on to from time to time.
Hope to be of some help and support to anyone in return very soon.

 

[AlisonM]

Are you sure about that?

 

[sweetsatin]

Lol Alison
I love that colour u just made me chuckle
thank you 🙂

 

[rossi_mac]

Hey there, glad your back on here, but sorry you're feeling below par.

Can't really help on the living alone thing, but maybe try and push yourself to see the family, I know it can be hard, but give it a go🙂

Regarding the drink, firstly well done on 4 years dry😱! If your body hasn't had a drop for such a long time I would guess that you're going to have to be especially careful about it, so be patient (easier sad than done I know!) and when I drink (I know we're all different) I would have a carb snack to soak up the booze, maybe a packet of crisps, depends on how much I'm consuming😛 Hey at least you can test yourself and monitor what your body is doing.

PS Congrats on great figures all round, now try and keep your chin up and think your glass is half full😉

Rossi.

 

[james mulroy]

I've had type 1 diabetes since 1969, wow 40 years!!!, you know what?

Apart from bringing me into contact with the medical profession far too often (and I'll cover that at the end) i have never felt it a disease.

During my life it has given me occasional problems but generally it, and it alone, has kept my rebellious excesses in control. I played soccer and rugby at competitive level, have 2 terrific (non diabetic) children and live life to the hilt.

As for doctors - many offend me deeply but i have a good gp, have had brilliant consultant (now retired) and my present one in princess roayl farnborough kent is not to my liking at all and is too fond of intervention.

Intervention by the way is increasingly reciognised as a major cause of diabetic death, because they check you often they find other traits and submit you to a chemical cocktail sometimes lethal.

from statins to levythyroxin if you're border line they prescribe so resist where you can

I'll call on her when i need her and that's it

 

[Copepod]

James' comment about calling on his consultant when he needs her struck a chord with me too - but fortunately, my consulant (also female) is happy to see much just once a year, although offers 6 monthly appts if I want them.

 

[MartinX123]

About one of the only things I have got the hang of since being diagnosed is balancing out my occasional nights out having a few! (they really are occasional, probably 1 every month or so)
After a few epoisodes waking up in the night feeling like I was about to drop dead (exageration but when you wake in the middle of the night brain tends not to fire too well) with my heart beating at about 160, shakes, sweats etc I read a few articles and found ways to balance the drop you experience when drinking. I have a few crisps or nibbles while im out drinking and always have a banana milkshake ready in the fridge at home. When i get in just before bed I have a peice of toast & the nana shake & Im ok during the night. Still wake up with a normal hangover though, but least that "normal"

Hope that helps. Your weight loss is fab, really well done

 

[sweetsatin]

Hi all thank you so much for your help
I am feeling much better today 🙂
I am just so glad this forum is here without all of you i would of been couped up in my own self pity.
Thank you once again for listening and the advice i apreciate it so much.
I have taken all your advice on board and yes it helps.

 

[Tezzz]

Hi Sweetsatin,

Sorry to hear you're feeling down at the mo.

I envy your numbers.... Well done!!!

I've had some 3 point something readings after drink but never worry about it as the liver kicks in and my BG will go up by itself.

 

[Steff]

hi sweet glad your feeling better x

 

[C*5_Dodger]

Nothing to Worry About!

Hi all...
long time since i have been in here....sorry folks but been going through a real bad time lately.
I moved in August to a new area to be close to my family, unfortunately i still don't get to see them regular, not that i would ask for their help anyway.
Since moving my diabetes has been fantastic.
hbA1c AT..... 5.3 IN Sept
Weight down from 13 st - 9st.6
Feeling good well was untill reality kicked in.
I went for a drink with a friend i had 1 half pint of beer that was all
I got home and for some unknown reason
i tested my blood it was 3.2, having no symtoms at all.
I am diet controled if i hadn't of tested my blood would i have gone hypo?
This is really worrieing me, my sugars have been between 4 & 7
since being diagnosed in April this year, my hbA1c are as follows
April 8.2 on diagnosis
July 6.o
Sept 5.0
Yes the figures are good but now i am going through a real bad depression right now, not knowing what do with my life i was enjoying the drink was the 1st one in 4 years lol.... but if my blood sugars drop so quickly i don't want to take any chances. at the same time i don't want the diabetes to control my life.
Think the depression is living on my own and still not seeing my family regular as they have their own lives to live....it is also fear of being ill and on my own.
I feel stupid writing this but at the moment i coudn't care less.
If i was ill in my flat i do have a cord to pull in real emergencies... its just the living alone i need to adapt to as i am not good with my own company, i have always had someone around.
I just hope the depression and the tears eases off
I feel that even a drink is against me what a social life.
J hate being diabetic life stinks right now and my new doctor is so arrogant and no help at all.
Has anyone else gone through a simular problem as me? or any advice is apreciated.

Dear sweetsatin,

Firstly, glad to see you back. Your control is fantastic and the "low" level you mentioned is OK. If you are not taking diabetes meds I find it difficult to believe that you can go truely low! As Northerner says, alcohol inhibits hepatic glucose production, and as he says a carby snack will take care of that.
Yes we all go through patches of depression and a loathing of the condition we all share, but you have done the right thing by posting here again, all here will help you through this "low" time. Wishing you all the best.

Warmest Regards Dodger

PS I now notice you are better - GOOD!

 

[runner]

Hi Vince, Bev & Northerner

Its so hard for them to accept and in their eyes i am their mum and mums never get ill....I try to tell them when i'm not well and can't do things like i use to for them but they don't listen to me i am not allowed to be ill or depressed. me being soft gives in and still go out my way to help feeling ill or not....i have got to learn to say no too.

Sweetsatin, I was so sad to hear of your depression - you've been such a source of support and calming influence to others on here, it's really nice people have rallied round for you. I think you're right about saying no sometimes. Your children might feel relieved if they find out more from you about how your diabetes affects you and may be more resilient than you think? You know them best tho! I have been having a re-think about lifestlye and have decided to try and de-clutter a bit in every respect and spend more time enjoying life - I love music and found I rarely listen to it - so have been playing stuff when working, doing housework etc - great! Hope the CAB works out well and like the others have said, don't worry about a treat now and again - you deserve it

The menopause - aaarrrgghhh. Thought I was coming out the other side, but still flushing!! I have to say tho, I feel a lot more positive about my age now (54). Hope you're feeling a bit better now,

Sarah.