i dont want to care anymore!

[sianee]

hi everyone!
i hope you are all well.
sorry i havent been in touch lately, my computer has been broken.
does anyone have any info on the pump or know where i can find some??
im in the process of doing the P.A.S.T.I.E course (plymouth adjustment system through eating and isulin) all about carb counting. its going well and i've found it extremely useful. although a little difficult. hopefully doing this will lead to going on the pump.
have had a few ups and downs in the last couple of months since i last wrote.
my dad is becoming increasingly ill and increasingly selfish and inconsiderate and its causing so many other issues! my sugars for starters have been unreal! yesterday for instance, my day started out well, brilliant nights sleep for the first time in months, sugars were 6.3 before breakfast, had a huge row with my dad over his attitude towards his diabetes and me and my sugars instantly dropped to 2.1!! then spent the rest of the day swiging from 1 extreme to the other, 21.7, 3.3, 26.4 etc etc!!!!
i cant cope, i really cant! i want to tell him to get out of my lofe and leave me alone, but he's my dad and everytime he ends up in hospital he knows i'll be there but im not strong enough to deal with this anymore! this is making me ill and i cant just break free from it! i dont know what to do! i cant stop caring no matter how hard i try. but soon i wont be able to!
sorry for having a rant guys, but i have no one else to talk to!
xx

 

[Lizzie53]

Aww I was sad to read your post. Not much I can say to help but am thinking of you. xx
Is there a councillor at your docs surgery that you could talk to?

 

[Copepod]

Really tough situation for you. Not really sure what to suggest, but can you go back to contact any staff from PASTIE course? (love the name - especially for Cornwall area 🙂) I'm assuming your dad lives in the same area, so they might know about local services that might be able to help him.

 

[Robster65]

Hi sianee.

Really, really tough situation. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I would agree to discuss with your doctor and see if they can arrange for him to be cared for independantly.

Has he got other issues that stop him caring for himself or is he just using you for his own denial ?

Rob

 

[Ellie Jones]

Do you know which of your clinic consultants is the leading pump consultant? You can ask your DSN or your consultant about the pum, if necessary you can ask for a referal to a friendly pump consultant if your current one isn't..

You can find more information and get help from INPUT (need to google as I can remember the address of the top of my head)

As to dad this is a difficult situation for you indeed, and can well empathise with you one does feel it impossible to just walk away...

I would have words with your own diabetic team, and I assume that you have contact with your dads diabetic team, you can speak to them about how you feel... If you've haven't got contact, then the next time you'll in hospital with dad, insist that you have a meeting with them..

They should be able to help to implement something that will aid your dad, either by working with your dad to help him take his own control so not so relient on your input, or perhaps arranging for a nurse or health care assistant to help take the preassure off you..

As the constant stress's and strains you are under is going to impact on your own control.. You can actually uses this as part of your argument to why insulin pump therapy is benefical for you..

 

[Caroline Wilson]

Sounds like you are in a difficult situation.

have you got a sympathetic uncle or auntie who would be willing to talk to your dad and make a few suggestions to him? If it is any consolation my dad wont listen to anything I have to say either.

failing that see if there is a councilor or someone at the doctors you could talk to. Get the help for yourself and when you feel better, you will be able to help your dad better, although sometimes you have to walk away from things. When you care about a person it is hard to walk away but it is for your benefit too.

 

[Northerner]

Hi Sianee, sorry to hear that your own situation is being made more difficult to manage because of your father's attitudes. The pump site you asked about is http://www.input.me.uk/ - hopefully they will help you get the ball rolling. Good to hear that the PASTIE course has helped! They do love making up these names, I'm sure - good job it wasn't Nottingham! (Think about it! 😉)

It sounds like you could do with some support for yourself as a carer - perhaps you can find some useful information on this site:

http://www.carersuk.org/Home

Do try to consider your own well-being. You need to make sure you are strong and healthy in order to provide the best help for your dad, so if things start getting heated, then walk away from the arguments - tell him that neither of you will achieve anything by arguing. I wish you well - don't lose hope, things can be turned around 🙂

 

[FM001]

As with everyone else I am sorry to hear of your situation sianee, but it does sound like your dad could do with some form of counselling to deal with his issues. As Northerner says, try and stay strong and keep well and hope your situation improves soon. Toby.