I am really not coping, Sorry its long please read

[becky_boo]

Ok guys,
So I was diagnosed on 27th June this year. Everyone was amazed at how well I took to it. I was told I had the understanding of someone who had had it for 2 years. Now that's just all gone to pot and I feel so ashamed.

It started when I went on holiday on the 12th September. I was at a friends wedding for the week in Cyprus. I found it extremely hard. I couldn't have ice cream, or sweets or cake. I stayed away from drink but the one night we were all going out for pre wedding big night out. I had two beers that sent me sugars through the roof and me and my bf ended up having to miss the night because I felt so rough. He was brilliant but I could tell it upset him to be missing out on the one big night. Then I was drinking diet coke as I saw that as my own "treat" or "cheat" but because I was drinking so much of it, that two pushed my sugars up. By the time we got home I was just an emotional mess. The next week I was starting back at uni and had 4 days to get a car.
During that week I did have an appointment with me time, but it was a guy I had never seen before and I didn't feel completable to burst out crying to him, because I was constantly at that point.

But I got my car got my uni for one week things didn't seem to bad, (although there was stress to do with student loan too insure the car).

BUT THEN. I am driving to uni in the morning (its 56 miles away) It was 7am and I parked in a service station to check my blood sugars. Was sat there, had just got my meter out, them BAM. A man that was travelling down the motorway felt unwell and came off for the service station. But he then passed out and put his foot down on the accelerator and hit me straight on in my drivers door. Pushed me at least the space of 9 parking bays side ways and up and over a curb. I shouldnt of been able to walk away from the crash but luckily I was TO injured.

Now I dont have a car it was completely written off. I dont have a courtesy car (it was an extra ?20 for that and i thought hey I wont need it)

I have to now get public transport to uni which takes nearly three hours.
I no longer have set times to have my insulin.
Some days I have to get up and have breakfast at 4am.
One day I wont have to get up till 9.30am.
Sometimes I`ll have lunch at 12, others i`ll have to have it at gone 3pm! I am all over the place and I always eat on trains or buses, on the go. But then I dont always have the right outfit on to give myself an injection in public. So then I have to wait for there being a toilet so I can go inject.

I have got so behind on work and I am now getting really bad anxiety about going to uni. I am doing a presentation on monday with a friend and I have to send her my half tomorrow but I just cant do it. I wanna cry when I sit down to do it. My sugars are running high, partly because they are and partly because of me. But I just cant concentrate. I go to uni and I don't listen to a word. Not one.

I have gotten bad with how I deal with my diabetes. After the crash I went off my food so kept having hypos. Now i resent not having control and not being able to have things when I want so I have them.
I resent that I have put on weight and I try and do something about it but then hypos make me eat more sugar!
I just cant cope with it all. The only relies I have is on a tuesday and friday I loan a horse. But on a friday I am up early go to uni, come straight back heading straight to the stables to get her in from the field, de-mud her, muck out the stables and ride.
I cant carry on, I just cant do it but I dont know what to do. I have uni tomorrow but just cant face going!
Thank you x

 

[becky_boo]

Sorry sugars are high right now and I`m tired/upset. So please ignore where I have put in the wrong words/miss spelt

 

[Katieb]

Bless you Becky - you need some help and support. Go and see your doctor as soon as you can get an appointment and get some advice about your diabetes control. Talk to your tutor at Uni and tell then how you are feeling - you have a right to some support there too! What about insurance for the car? I assume you will be reimbursed at some point.

Although not a Type 1, I have a daughter at Uni who has had her own issues and there is help out there. Like you, when times have been tough, she has not felt able to cope under the pressure of study and ill health. They will listen, understand and help you through this. You need to talk to them. You mustn't try and cope with this alone. The accident has caused you a great deal of stress and that, along with having to cope with your diagnosis, has put a great deal of pressure on you and that won't be helping your control either.

Do you have any way of sharing transport with anyone - even if you have to meet them part of the way? Perhaps you could share petrol costs. Again, my daughter did this for some of the time. Do you have family members you could talk to to give you some emotional and practical support?

Please don't try and deal with this on your own. You must ask for some help. There will be some support out there for you.

Take care and try and look after yourself.

Katiexx

 

[StephenM]

Sorry that I have to be brief ? have to be out the door at 08:00. As you were blame free the other driver?s insurance should be responsible for a courtesy car. It is worth ringing your insurance company about this and also speaking to a solicitor ? is there any legal advice available through the uni? Forgetting blame was the other driver OK? I have seen two crashes caused by a driver passing out collapsing. One hit a lamp post and the other a large van. In both cases the driver did not survive ? both heart attacks. Hope you get something sorted.

 

[AJLang]

Hi Becky I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time. It has been awful for you. I know that it doesn't feel like it now but things will get a lot easier and the diabetes will become a normal part of you. I know this because I've had it for 41 years. Are you on set injections or MDI? Please speak to your DSN ASAP to sort out a flexible approach to deal with your circumstances. Also speak to your personal tutor ASAP. They may be able to sort out extensions for you or possibly delay one or two of your modules until next year. Another option is applying for Mitigating Circumstances which should take some of the Uni pressure off of you. It may also be possible to change your seminar timetable so that you don't need to go to Uni everyday. I don't know what of these are available at your Uni but these are all options that I would have explored if any of my students were in your situation. . Is it possible for you to have accommodation nearer to the Uni? It may also be a good idea to speak to a Uni counsellor. Please believe me that life will get better. When you graduate you will be so pleased with what you have achieved despite these problems. Take care x

 

[pgcity]

Hi Becky
I think you are doing really well getting on with your life while coming to terms with your very recent diagnosis. You've been on holiday, you've bought a car, you've got on with you uni course. Awesome stuff.
I expect that the car crash has really shook you up and the high blood sugars you are having can make some of us feel very tired and emotional which doesn't help.
When I am overwhelmed I make a list and tackle one problem each day until I have crossed them all off.
I hope things are better today.

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Hi Becky ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))
😱 at your last few weeks.
It sounds to me as if everything has hit you full on in one big hit.
I also think you still have shock from your accident (not surprised) plus your honeymoon is coming to an end. It's also just hit you that diabetes is for life. Now that is one heck of a bashing all in one go.
Please do contact your GP and or your hospital team. Print out what you have written here if you feel you can't talk about things at the moment.

Not to sure what insulin you are on but if you are on MDI (basal bolus) then you can eat anything you want including ice cream. Make it a priority to ask your team for 1 - 1 tutition in carb counting so you can have a normal life.
Also buy yourself the books using insulin and think like a pancreas. These will also help you no end.
Do you have a counciling service at uni? If so make them your first port of call.
Sending you a huuuuuuuge hug this morning.

 

[Copepod]

OK, a few quick suggestions to get you through the weekend to the presentation on Monday.

(1) Contact your personal tutor today. If they don't work Fridays, then contact someone else, course director etc. Most universities have disability officers, who can also help with information, guidance, liaison between students & staff etc.

(2) Join a liftshare scheme to find someone / some people to give you a lift - the best known national one is https://www.liftshare.com/uk/. Some universities also have their own inhouse liftshare schemes. Once the insurance is sorted and you get your own car again, it still saves money to travel with other people and share fuel costs.

(3) Break down presentation into stages - first get the plan down on paper, then start drafting on comuter etc, then leave it for at least a few hours or overnight, then look at it again and revise.

 

[Caroline]

I hope you feel better soon. Go get some help and support. Your doctor and personal tutor are good places to help or if they have a mentoring programme at unio or someone who gives support do that.

There is no need to appoligise her for anything as many people have been in the same or similar positions and the least we can do is listen and hopefully say the right things to help you feel better.

 

[Medusa]

Hi Becky, glad you feel able to share your problems here because at least it means you can get them off your chest, it is normal for things to mess up after going well diabetes wise (in my experience anyway) see if you can get on a DAFNE course then you can eat a more "normal" diet, it certainly changed my life for the better, good luck with the uni stuff, is there a student counsellor or some other support available maybe? Big hugs from me xx

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Good advice from others about looking into MDI, carb counting and contacting your Uni for support during this tricky time.

Hope the car insurance comes through soon.

You've just been hit by everything all at once. And for future weddings/birthdays/Christmas/occasional celebrations cut yourself some slack. A little bit of what you fancy every now and then will keep you sane and help you to stay strong the rest of the time.

Hang in there... things will get better.

 

[Catwoman76]

Bless your heart, i wish Icould give a great big hug right now, if anyone desreves one right this minute.......then you do X
I concur with everything pumper Sue has said and just to say there is alife after a diabetes diagnosis, honestly there is and one day,hopefully soon, you will live it to the fullest. Sending lots and lots of good wishes your way, take care X

 

[rachelha]

Hello, you have had one heck of a few weeks. I was diagnosed whilst at Uni, and they counted it as mitigating circumstances for me, so the project I was working on which i completely stuffed up was not included in my mark calculation.
I can remember going out for a meal once and crying in the toilets as everyone else was having pudding and cocktails. In time when you are more used to things and have been taught to calculate you will be able to have treats of cake and drink.

Are you flat mates aware of your diabetes? Mine were taught about hypos and how to give a glucagon injection by a DSN which made me feel a bit more secure.

Your university counselling services should be able to give you support and maybe able to contact your tutor on your behalf if you do not feel up to it.

I hope you are feeling a bit more positive soon.

 

[Katieb]

Hi Becky. How are you feeling today? I hope some of the suggestions on here have helped you even if only a little bit. Katiex

 

[pgcity]

Hi Becky
I hope the sunshine and riding have helped a little. Let us know how you are doing today.

 

[becky_boo]

Thank you for everyones replies it really cheered me up. Spoke to my mum and boyfriend about everything and it was just good to get it off my chest. I only have 4 weeks left at uni and then I`m only doing two days a week. I need to stop doubting myself. I did my presentation today (put it all together the night before) and I got a 2:1 (B) on it so was happy.
I am teaching myself to carb count at the moment, and have been making my own adjustments with my insulin. Have a meeting with my team soon so things should get sorted =)
Thanks again for all your replies! =D xxx

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Hi Becky,
well done on your presentation 🙂 oh ye of little faith 😛
Really pleased you are sounding happier as well. ((((((hugs))))))

 

[pgcity]

That's great news. You must be very smart to get such a good mark.

 

[Katieb]

That's amazing Becky! Well done! Good to hear you sounding a little brighter too! Keep smiling!🙂 Katie

 

[Northerner]

Well done Becky 🙂 You've done really well after all you've had to deal with!