How to deal with the ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’ stages

[Thebearcametoo]

Daughter has just turned 11 (2 years diagnosed), is in the full throws of puberty and all the changes that happen with that plus we’re a year into the pandemic and life is only sort of returning to normal. She’s been struggling with pump changes for the last few weeks but it’s not been helped with a couple coming off so having to do it more frequently than every 3 days. I know it’s not all ABOUT the cannula change it’s just that’s the point where everything comes to a head.

We’ll get in touch with her team’s psychologist next week and get her some support that way but any helpful strategies for dealing with these periods where your kid just doesn’t want to deal anymore would be helpful. I know adults feel like that too but it’s especially big feelings when you’re young and can’t get a bigger perspective.

‘You just have to do it’ isn’t helpful even though we know that’s what it boils down to.

 

[stephknits]

I remember a parent, admittedly for a younger kid, but could work so I stored it for.later. They thought up / researched a riddle or joke or word game that they played every time they had to do a pump change. The child ended up looking forward to finding out what the next challenge etc would be. Might be worth a go.

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Would a pump change be more acceptable if your daughter gets to choose the menu for the meal after set change Something like you wouldn't normally have but she likes? So it's something positive from the daily rigmarole?

 

[Inka]

@Thebearcametoo Would she consider a pump break? After a spell with site issues, I got very stressed so had some weeks back on injections. The break did me a lot of good mentally - and it also made me appreciate my pump more! I’d been on a pump without a break for many years and it wasn’t until I went back to injections that I remembered how much better my pump was.

 

[Thebearcametoo]

@Thebearcametoo Would she consider a pump break? After a spell with site issues, I got very stressed so had some weeks back on injections. The break did me a lot of good mentally - and it also made me appreciate my pump more! I’d been on a pump without a break for many years and it wasn’t until I went back to injections that I remembered how much better my pump was.

This is what we’ve ended up doing. I suspect she will remember how much she actually likes her pump in a few days

And a good reminder to keep some basal insulin in the fridge that’s in date as we’re having to chase around pharmacies today to get hold of some tresiba as what we had was out of date and the team doctor we spoke to didn’t want her using it (fair enough). Husband has been to our usual pharmacy this morning who don’t have any in stock but their sister pharmacy do so phone call to 111 to get a prescription and then we can get it from there (they are technically closed today but as doing vaccinations so apparently will deal with us). I spent last night waking her every 4 hours to give her novorapid and am once again glad I no longer have tiny children

 

[Thebearcametoo]

I remember a parent, admittedly for a younger kid, but could work so I stored it for.later. They thought up / researched a riddle or joke or word game that they played every time they had to do a pump change. The child ended up looking forward to finding out what the next challenge etc would be. Might be worth a go.

This is a lovely idea. I don’t think it would work for her though

 

[Thebearcametoo]

Would a pump change be more acceptable if your daughter gets to choose the menu for the meal after set change Something like you wouldn't normally have but she likes? So it's something positive from the daily rigmarole?

Maybe. I think she’s just fed up with it all. If she was refusing injections it would be more of a problem but I’m hoping a break and she’ll appreciate the pump again.

She’s very independent and does all her cannulas and injections herself and refuses someone else doing it. She has got into an anxiety cycle where she can’t make her body press to release the cannula and then she gets all worked up so stopping for a while until she gets bored of injections will hopefully break that. The on call for the diabetes team yesterday was a doctor who knows her well and will flag with the team psychologist that she needs some support.

 

[Inka]

Good @Thebearcametoo Hopefully that will work. I found the number of injections a shock - I seemed to spend all day doing injections! But what really got me was the inability to fine tune the basal to stop my DP, and the fact that on injections with that ‘big’ basal constantly there, I feel different, always aware of the insulin, but on injections I feel normal.

I don’t like auto-inserting cannulas either. I tried the other day when I swapped to a different cannula type and I just couldn’t physically press the button. I insert all mine by hand. It’s quicker, easier and I have far more control. It’s also far less of a ‘thing’ without a shooting contraption.

 

[Pumper_Sue]

She’s very independent and does all her cannulas and injections herself and refuses someone else doing it. She has got into an anxiety cycle where she can’t make her body press to release the cannula and then she gets all worked up

Ah ok know what she feels like in that dept. I solved the problem by using the cannulas that you insert yourself. Thus you are in control and not the s*dding applicator. Ask her whether she would like to try that option. Best thing is the cannula goes in at the pace your daughter wants.

 

[Amity Island]

Daughter has just turned 11 (2 years diagnosed), is in the full throws of puberty and all the changes that happen with that plus we’re a year into the pandemic and life is only sort of returning to normal. She’s been struggling with pump changes for the last few weeks but it’s not been helped with a couple coming off so having to do it more frequently than every 3 days. I know it’s not all ABOUT the cannula change it’s just that’s the point where everything comes to a head.

We’ll get in touch with her team’s psychologist next week and get her some support that way but any helpful strategies for dealing with these periods where your kid just doesn’t want to deal anymore would be helpful. I know adults feel like that too but it’s especially big feelings when you’re young and can’t get a bigger perspective.

‘You just have to do it’ isn’t helpful even though we know that’s what it boils down to.

@Inka beat me to it. I was going to suggest the same thing, by going onto mdi.

It seems your daughter is reacting the same way as many of us do to work. Many of us don't like going to work and some people hate it. The only way around it is to pay people to do it. Could you offer an incentive to motivate her to do this? Is there anything she likes to collect? Would something like robux be a motivator?

 

[Inka]

And just to add that I haven’t yet met a cannula you can’t insert yourself - despite pump reps trying to persuade me otherwise. They can pretty much all be put in by hand.

 

[Lucy Honeychurch]

It's such a tricky age. I hope you both can find a solution and that she gets some support.

 

[Thebearcametoo]

And today she started her period so that explains a lot of the big feelings etc. I still think she needed the pump break but it may make her less stubborn about going back on it sooner now she can see an obvious correlation with her feelings and her hormones.

 

[Post-apocalyptic Pete]

Let me just start by saying that I don't want to sound harsh and I have much sympathy for your daughter for having to put up with Type 1.

I'm not a parent to a diabetic child, but I was a diabetic child (Diagnosed as Type 1 at 14 months old, now 36 years old) and I went through a stage at around 14 years old where I didn't want to be a diabetic. I didn't have a problem injecting, but I couldn't be bothered to do blood tests, so I just guessed the amount that I needed to inject, with the obvious results occurring to my control.

I remember going to an appointment around 1999 (So I would have been 14) and my consultant at the time (A teaching professor in medicine at the University of Birmingham) saw my HBA1C (It was appalling, something like 12%) and then scanned my meter to find that I had done around 10 tests in 3 months. She took a zero-tolerance approach, calling me back to an appointment 2 weeks later and there were two people in her office with her; a 30 year old lad with a foot missing who could barely see and a 50 year old woman who had no complications. I was informed that both were diagnosed as Type 1 before the age of 16.

She simply looked at me and said in a stern voice "The choice is yours..." before dismissing me. My Mum cried, my Dad b*llocked me like he has never done before or since, as did my Nan (A former nurse) who my consultant had insisted that all attend the appointment. I cried that night, for upsetting my family, for the prospect of what would happen to me.

I really don't want to use my example to upset you (I am a parent myself, I know how we stress over our kids) but it focused my mind and I am pleased to say that I am fit, well and complication free. Have to say it is really good that the psychological support networks have been enacted, I hope that your daughter is supported to take control of her diabetes, but also that, and I say it in the nicest possible way, that for her own benefit she realises the need to manage her condition.

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Sorry @Post-apocalyptic Pete, your post is completely out of context. OP's daughter is taking her insulin and testing the young lady is having issues with the automatic inserter for her pump cannulas.

Everyone at some stage has issues/burnout with their diabetes. The young lady in question is doing a grand job and acted in a very adult way by asking for help.

As an adult I have been exactly the same regarding using the auto inserters for my cannulas. Come cannula change it got to the stage where I was going to give up on my pump.

The problem was solved by someone suggesting to me to try a manual insertion cannula. I found this worked very well for me and working it out it boiled down to the noise the inserter was making which was causing the problem. I anticipated the noise meant it was going to hurt. (Even though it didn't)