How Do You Stop Yourself Swearing

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MikeyBikey

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It seems that nearly everywhere you call before you get Option 1, 2, etc. warns you verbal abuse will not be tolerated. The only people I have sworn at recently are spam callers to wind them up. However, I find it very difficult not to swear at times. Yesterday I was dealing with a company and the person was it motormouth mode speaking utter rubbish. I so wanted to tell them to shut up and listen to me the customer. Then today I phoned someone. My surname is fairly unusual and the only one on their database. Yet the person wanted my first name, DOB, etc. and then when I gave the first line of my address and post code wanted the lines in between. I could tell she was bring deliberately obstructive.as I had a complaint! It's a pity she didn't ask inside leg measurement as I would have said 19"! 🙂

Do you have any techniques for dealing with stupid people?
 
Mostly keep me cool although it can be hard at times.

More often than enough call handlers are just working from a script so those questions have to be asked, more so for security reasons.

Last time swore at someone was a timeshare pest abroad many years ago, he stopped me & Mrs on street & wouldn't take no for answer so sent him packing.
 
I suspect someone will be along soon to tell you that what you need is mindfulness!
You just have to recollect that almost everyone apart from you is stupid.
Simply relax in that warm glow, and derive as much amusement as you can from the encounter.
 
MikeyBikey said:
Do you have any techniques for dealing with stupid people?
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I wouldn’t call them stupid, they’re probably just doing their job and trying to manage systems that may not be set up in the best way.
 
I worked in a call centre once. It was awful and mentally exhausting. You had to keep to a script; you had managers listening in secretly on your calls to monitor you; you had special codes to input for when you needed the toilet, etc and these were all collated at the end of the week to make sure you weren’t taking too long. Callers were angry and often rude. It was rubbish money too.

So @MikeyBikey remember the person at the other end of the line is just doing their job and if something has gone wrong it won’t be their fault. It’s a miserable job, so rather than swearing at them, please be nice. They’ll appreciate it.
 
MikeyBikey said:
My surname is fairly unusual and the only one on their database. Yet the person wanted my first name, DOB, etc. and then when I gave the first line of my address and post code wanted the lines in between. I could tell she was bring deliberately obstructive.as I had a complaint! It's a pity she didn't ask inside leg measurement as I would have said 19"!
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Like @Inka I have sympathy for anyone at a call centre.
If the person you were talking to was asking all these identity questions, it is because they have been told to. This may be to protect you and your information or because the company has decided to be obstructive not the person you are talking to.
Yes, sometimes it is frustrating but I find I get better service if I keep my cool and show empathy to the person doing their rubbish job (rather than doing their job rubbishly).
People want to help nice people. They do not want to help sweary rude people. So, they will often go that extra step for you if you are friendly. Or at the very least, explain calmly why you are frustrated.
My two simple things I do to remain calm are
- smile. Even a fake smile sounds friendlier.
- speak quietly. It is harder for the other person to get angry with a softly spoken person.

Oh and making it clear that you think they are stupid will just make you sound arrogant. The type of person that no one wants to help.
i never assume anyone is stupid. It is more likely that I am unable to explain myself.
 
Yeah having audited customer service calls they have to say what they do especially the security checks. It will be part of their role and there will be either business or legal reason why. Security and data protection come to mind.
Anyone could know your name so it’s better they complete the checks.
She could have explained this to you, that might have helped.

I dont mind swearing in the right context, its all about context.
 
I was taken aback this morning by the confrontational, bad tempered, foul mouthed response I got this morning from the driver of a Discovery when I suggested that completely blocking a pavement by parking on it was not being very considerate to pedestrians. Apparently, the fact that there were no yellow lines on the road allowed her free rein to park where she liked.

This tirade came from a middle aged woman dropping her child off with somebody to take to school. Hate to think what language her kids use in the playground and dread to think what they will be like when they grow up.
 
I try really hard to be very kind to call centre staff. They don't make the rules and for the most part are often following a script and are not allowed to waver from it. I did however tell a BT chap recently that he needed to change his attitude as he was coming across as 'couldn't be arsed' and I wanted to speak to someone else.

I finally had the pleasure of binning off BT for good this week and it was so very satisfying 😉
 
I try really hard but get so frustrated one of the worst people to call is virgin media we always have problems with them just renewed our contract and they have got it wrong charging us double this is the third day we have spoken to them assuring us the bill has been amended but it remains unchanged I am leaving it to hubby now and left the room
 
The company who did our broadband for a while (not Virgin, and I won’t mention who) stopped providing the service and we were automatically transferred to a different company. Fair enough, but my husband wanted us to go onto one particular tariff and they put us on a more expensive one. So he phoned up to ask to be swapped over. Apparently that was too difficult for them… he spent ages explaining what he wanted and repeating himself, person on the other end didn’t understand and decided to transfer him to someone else, he was left on hold for over half an hour and then eventually the call was picked up by someone else who clearly had not been told anything of the situation and he had to start all over again. This then repeated with him being transferred to someone else and then someone else… it took him months of ridiculous phone calls (most of it on hold, I dread to think how many hours he was actually on the phone to them in total) before they finally sorted it, and then another few months to get a refund on the overspend we’d been paying in the meantime. How on earth he kept calm through all of that, I have no idea!! I’d have given up I think, maybe that’s what they were hoping he’d do!
 
Docb said:
I was taken aback this morning by the confrontational, bad tempered, foul mouthed response I got this morning from the driver of a Discovery when I suggested that completely blocking a pavement by parking on it was not being very considerate to pedestrians. Apparently, the fact that there were no yellow lines on the road allowed her free rein to park where she liked.

This tirade came from a middle aged woman dropping her child off with somebody to take to school. Hate to think what language her kids use in the playground and dread to think what they will be like when they grow up.
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I work in a primary school. The amount of 5 year olds you get coming up to you saying “that boy over there just said the F word and stuck his finger up at me” is absolutely shocking. We’ve had people applying for jobs as midday supervisors because they think it will be a nice easy little job, leaving within a month because they can’t handle 9 year olds telling them to F… off. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know what swearing was when I was 5…
 
This is so sad :(
 
I have to add, most of the children at my school are lovely and have been brought up to be polite (albeit they forget their please and thank you sometimes). But there does seem to be a growing number who think that swearing is perfectly normal :( Don’t get me wrong, I swear like a trooper sometimes, but not around children, I don’t think my daughter knew any such words until sometime in the junior school when she picked it up from other children. Those with older siblings you can maybe understand, but there are some who clearly hear such words all the time and it’s a real shame.
 
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For whatever reason been getting few spam calls on mobile this week, phone flags most up as spam but couple have come through supposedly from HMRC, now thats enough to push anyone's patience.
 
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