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natcay

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Hi well i am new to this but very worried about my husband.

We have only been married for 9 weeks and to me we wont be together that much longer if he carries on like he is. He has type 2 diabetes and is taking metformin, but all he does is eat large amounts of sweet things, very large dinners, takes at least 2 chocolate bars to work with him with 3 bags of crisps. He thinks drinking coke zero will keep all his blood sugar levels down. I have 2 children so its not fair to them if i don't buy the usual things we have always in for them but its at the point now he eats everything and says his blood sugar is fine even though he never ever tests it on his little machine he has.
He also smokes at least 40 cigarettes a day. His own mother sends over sweet things for him and says a bit of sugar wont hurt, but when i try to explain he eats alot she laughs at me.
I am very very worried about him as he just seems not to care about himself or me. He has his check up next Tuesday and i am determined to go with him and tell the nurse what he is doing to himself but he says he doesn't and i think the nurse wont really get involved in this. I'm totally stuck with what to do or who to talk too as his family just think its me making it out to be worse than it is. I need some help on this please.:(
 
Hi natcay, welcome to the forum 🙂 Very sorry to hear about how your husband is managing (or not) his diabetes. From what you say he doesn't have a healthy diet for someone without diabetes, let alone someone who has :(

I would definitely attend the appointment with him and see what the nurse/doctor says. Find out what his test results are and ask what they should be for someone who is managing their diabetes well, so you have some kind of indication of how bad things are. Howe long has he been diagnosed? Does he only take metformin for his diabetes? Without knowing him, it's very hard to know what you could do or say to persuade hime to start taking things seriously. If he continues with the type of diet he has and especially with the smoking then although he may feel OK about things now, he most certainly will begin to suffer the consequences just a few short years from now. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but you already realise this, it is clear.

It might be worth giving the Diabetes UK careline a call, so you can speak one-to-one with someone who may be able to tell you of steps you can take, contact details are here:

http://www.diabetes.org.uk/How_we_help/Careline/

Smoking is bad enough, but when you have diabetes it is ten times worse, particularly if the diabetes is poorly-controlled.

Go to the appointment and see what is said, so at least you will have some knowledge of the actual situation - if you let us know then we may be able to think of some ways he can be persuaded to take things more seriously.
 
I agree, go with him, get involved, let him see how upset its making you.........


You dont want a serious complication being the only thing that will open his eyes............

Any support and were here to give it.............🙂
 
Thats the thing we all eat healthy foods, he just makes junk food instead of the good food, my kids love fresh vegetables and fruit and the chocolate is just a treat now and again, they are used to going and getting a bar now and again but now its never there for them as he has had them all.
He was diagnosed 2 years ago but he just seems it will go away, and when i have looked and studied it all he just shrugs his shoulders and gets moody with me when i comment on things.

I myself dont smoke never have done and when we ask him to stop its always something comes up to say i will do it after we get married and now its i will stop after xmas. I or my kids dont know what else to do. His mother sends over a big packet of liquorice allsorts because she heard liquorice is good for diabetes, she doesn't take into account all the sugar that is involved in them. I just feel lost and yeah very worried something bad is going to happen to him and that scares me.

I will ring that number and get some advice from them and see where it goes from there. Thank you for your help.
 
Smoking is bad, but he should concentrate on his blood sugars first...........

I only just recently gave up, not really because it was affecting my health, purely because I was in the position to do so without much difficulty.......

He needs to be ready to do it deep inside.........
 
It sounds like he is in denial about his diabetes and hasn't quite accepted it yet. I hope the helpline can give you some ideas - please come back here any time, even if it's just to let us know your worries, it can be good to write them down and let them out - everyone here is very friendly and will do their best to support you 🙂
 
hi natcay, welcome to the forum. I wonder does your husband test himself with a meter. If not, perhaps ask the nurse for one with some strips and do some testing to show him what his levels are like an hour or so after a meal or some sweets. He may be reluctant to do it but its worth trying. Good luck🙂
 
natcay said:
Hi well i am new to this but very worried about my husband.

We have only been married for 9 weeks and to me we wont be together that much longer if he carries on like he is. He has type 2 diabetes and is taking metformin, but all he does is eat large amounts of sweet things, very large dinners, takes at least 2 chocolate bars to work with him with 3 bags of crisps. He thinks drinking coke zero will keep all his blood sugar levels down. I have 2 children so its not fair to them if i don't buy the usual things we have always in for them but its at the point now he eats everything and says his blood sugar is fine even though he never ever tests it on his little machine he has.
He also smokes at least 40 cigarettes a day. His own mother sends over sweet things for him and says a bit of sugar wont hurt, but when i try to explain he eats alot she laughs at me.
I am very very worried about him as he just seems not to care about himself or me. He has his check up next Tuesday and i am determined to go with him and tell the nurse what he is doing to himself but he says he doesn't and i think the nurse wont really get involved in this. I'm totally stuck with what to do or who to talk too as his family just think its me making it out to be worse than it is. I need some help on this please.:(
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Hi natcay and welcome. I'm sorry you are going through such a horrible time with your new hubby( congratulations on the wedding btw) regarding his diabetes control.

Some people just ignore things and sweep them under the carpet, but they won't go away and in the long term, it can get much worse.

It's when things get serious, alot of people then start to sort themselves out
and deal with their medical condition, but all to often, it may be too late.

Your hubby sounds as though he thinks you are nagging him and to stop going on at him. You are obviously a loving and caring wife, but if he wont listen....................................................

We have a post on the Heros and Heroins board about how a lady nearly lost her life through diabetes, please read it, posted by Dawney, My life, I nearly lost it and then you could show it to your hubby. It may make him think. You could copy and paste or print it, it's quite a story.

Your 2 children must be going through a hard time as well :(
I wish you well and I hope that he, will, come to his senses soon. Please make sure you take care of yourself now, stress,worry and anxiety are not good either. Going with hubby to the appointment will be a good thing.

With my very best wishes Sheena
 
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Hi Natcay. Welcome 🙂

I hate to put your new husband down, but it sounds like his mother still thinks he's her little boy to be spoilt and he quite likes it that way.

Was he diagnosed diabetic when you got together ?

If he's always been this way with food, which it sounds like he probably has, it can be difficult to change without accepting that he needs to for the sake of his life.

If you've tried explaining that you want him to take care because you love him and don't want to be a widow any time soon, then I would hope he would sit up and take it on board. He could see a dietician if he doesn't understand what his diet is doing to him.

Rob
 
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