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spongey2010

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Hi All,

I've joined this forum to hopefully learn more about the condition and get a bit of support. My boyfriend of just under a year has type 1 Diabetes. During our time together, I have found the condition quite difficult to handle and thought that maybe someone could help me out! I'm not sure whether there is a forum on here for those who are close to someone with diabetes - maybe someone could point me in the right direction if so.
 
Hi SPongey.

I would recommend joining in on the main forums and ask anything you want to know.
My girlfriend has managed to tame me and my lazy ways since we got together in January so it can be done !

If there are any particular aspects you want help with, ask away.

Rob
 
Hi Spongey, you are more than welcome to come and ask your questions here, we welcome anyone who is affected by diabetes whether it is people with diabetes or their familes, friends and carers. 🙂 If you want to gain a good knowledge of Type 1 diabetes then I'd recommend getting a copy of Type 1 Diabetes in Children, Adolescents and Young Adults by Ragnar Hanas. You may be able to get a copy from your library. It is a very well written guide to all aspects of the condition and can be dipped into for any variety of topics.

Of course, you can ask us and we can share our experiences with you, which will give you a good picture about how everyone handles the various problems and situations. Has he been diagnosed long?
 
Thanks, wow I already feel welcome.

He was diagnosed in his mid teens and is now mid to late 30's. I have tried to find out as much as I can about the disease, so I know what to expect and how to help. We had only been together a few months, when on a holiday abroad, he had a massive hypo, which was quite possibly the most scariest experience of my life. I guess this has exaggerated my concern and, being 'a worrier' in general, I find things hard to deal with. I guess one of my problems is constantly fearing the worst,for instance, if I can't get hold of him on the phone, I am convinced something has happened to him. People try and reassure me that he has dealt with this for years and will therefore be fine, but the people that say this have absolutely no clue about Diabetes (much the same as I prior to doing my research and experiencing things first-hand).

I often think that he holds things back from me or maybe is 'economical with the truth' about his condition, which is also difficult. I try to be supportive, but at the same time, I think I am being a nusiance with my constant cries of 'have you tested your blood sugar' and 'do you feel ok'.

So here is a short synopsis of how I feel currently - Any help/support would be very much appreciated.
 
People learn to deal with their diabetes in very different ways. Some people prefer to keep it in the background and don't like a fuss being made. Others will welcome an interest being shown, but it can be difficult to find the point at which this might feel intrusive or being 'told' how they should be managing their condition.

As he has been diagnosed many years he is probably used to dealing with things in his own way. Do you know if he has many hypos? I can imagine that being a very frightening experience for you so it might be worth talking through your concerns about what is the best thing you can do to help in such circumstances.

Have a look at the following - you might want to assess his mood and print it out to see if he agrees with the things on the list and your own feelings about them:

http://behavioraldiabetesinstitute.org/downloads/Etiquette-Card.pdf


p.s. I don't necessarily agree with everything on the card! 🙂
 
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Hi again Spongey.

Don't worry. I think ALL partners have to nag and worry constantly ! :D

I was diagnosed mid teens, like your BF and have been known to play down symptoms of hypo, etc. As I'm sure do many.

I can see that not knowing so much about it and not being able to 'feel' your BF's symptoms, you could feel pretty much helpless. My GF is now as much in control of my diabetes as I am, since she keeps a record of tests, carbs and insulin. Maybe you could suggest this as a way of being more involved, along with improving his control. You'd then be able to see that he is ok on a day to day basis and be able to trust his sixth sense that we all think we have but isn't always as reliable as we'd like it to be.

Rob
 
Hey,

I am learning ways that make me feel more comfortable about the condition, such as always carrying glucogel with me, should he need it.

He doesn't seem to want me involved in tests etc, I quite often have to 'demand' that he tests his blood sugar and I am worried that he doesn't test enough. This is combined with the fact that each nurse/doctor he sees, seems to tell him something different. Somebody told him to keep his blood sugar at around 10 before bed, but I read that is way too high! I'm not sure whether the right level of blood sugar differs between diabetics - I know for a normal person it is between 4-7, but apparently for him 4 is too low and is dangerous.

I have acknowledged that however involved I am, I can't be with him 24/7. Somebody mentioned to me that I'm his girlfriend, not his carer. However, this doesn't really make me feel any better. I sometimes feel that he puts himself at risk, by rushing around and not having time to eat lunch etc, but when I broach the subject he doesn't really want to talk.

Currently, my main concern is that he is getting frequent headaches. I immediately am thinking the worst due to him being diabetic. I myself go through periods of frequent headaches and have done for years as a result of stress and eye strain mainly, but with him being diabetic, I can't seem to see that they could just be caused by something simple and not of too much concern. He is going to book a doctors appointment tomorrow, but I think the doctors just constantly fob you off.
 
4 can be low depending on when the test is made. If it's just before a meal it wouldn't worry me unduly, although I might have a jelly baby or equivalent as a quick top up. As for his bedtime levels, a lot depends on how his levels change overnight. This can be subject to a number of factors, such as if alcohol has been drunk or if he has been active during the day and taken the correct amount of insulin to compensate. I'm personally happy these days going to bed at around the 6 or 7 level, but people have such varying experiences and 10 is not unreasonably high before bed as your levels tend to drop during the night because you aren't eating and your liver slows its own production of glucose - you have to find what works for you.

Headaches aren't normally a symptom of diabetes, although they might happen if you have a particularly low or high blood sugar sometimes. Quite often, with diabetes, you will notice your blood sugar changes before you are hit with something like a bug or cold etc. - like an early warning system! Good that he is willing to go to the doctors though, a lot of men wouldn't 😉
 
Hi and a warm welcome to the forum spongey x
 
Hey there and welcome to the forum, I totally respect you for what you're doing to find out about diabetes for your partner!! My partner did similar for me and he's part of the reason that i've got my finger out to get myself back on track. I hope you're able to find the answers you're after on here!! XxXxX
 
Thanks everyone

Hi All,

Can I just say thank so all for making me feel so welcome and not as alone as before.

I am feeling a bit more positive today, as the Diabetes nurse (who we weren't too sure actually existed!) has been in touch and given the bf some advice on his insulin and lowering his blood sugar, which is good news. Apparently, the headaches could be due to his blood sugar being too high, which I kind of knew, but the fact that she was not unduly concerned by this symptom made me feel a bit better.

It's up and down, which I guess is how many of you feel 🙂
 
Hi again Spongey.

Up and down is the catchphrase of diabetes ! :D

I'm sure he'll get better at taking care of himself with the support of the nurse, but most of all you. It does become a pain after several years to have to keep doing the mundane stuff, so I can understand him being a bit lax about it. But a good tete a tete about how you feel and wanting him to be well for as long as he can for both of you, might help. Just a suggestion. 🙂

The only way is up.... or down. 🙄

Rob
 
Yes, I know what you mean - We have had a similar conversation previously. I will do my best and see what happens 🙂

I do understand that you must all go through periods of being fed up of diabetes and wanting to be 'normal' (whatever that is!).

I notice that you are using Lanctus - Is that the Solostar insulin? The nurse has said that insulin makes you eat loads and advised that the bf takes a reduced dose in the morning and takes more of the insulin at meals (Humalog I think).

Would be interested to hear of others experiences
 
Lantus is the long acting insulin that is meant to last 24hrs as a background insulin and is available in a solostar pen (I think).

Humalog is a short acting (2-3hrs) insulin that covers the peak of glucose from eating. The way it's meant to work is that you eat as much as you need at each meal and inject enough humalog to 'cover' that amount of carbs.

If you have a blowout meal, you can inject more, if you have a snack, you inject less. It maybe that he hasn't had it explained very well, which seems to depend on where you live and who you see.

If he needs to lose weight, it can be a tough road to follow, but can be done. 🙂

Rob
 
ps. you may see the Lantus referred to as basal and humalog as bolus. There are other types of insulin that do the same job.

The book that Northerner suggested a few posts back would probably help you with the technicalities. I've learned a lot just by reading threads on here and I've been at it a while.

Rob
 
Welcome to the forum Spongey2010 , what a nice thing to do to find out more about your BF's condition 🙂
 
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