Hi from a newbie

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petri

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Relationship to Diabetes
At risk of diabetes
I was diagnosed as prediabetic last year and I was referred for free gym membership and low carb eating plan.

Unfortunately, I have binge eating disorder and have a fear of losing weight (I also have PTSD.) I began to lose a little weight, panicked, and gained 2 stone in less than a year.

I am now bordering type 2 diagnosis and 7 stone overweight.

I'm working with a great counsellor who is helping with the PTSD, but losing weight is terrifying and I can't seem to match up my physical needs (I also need surgery that I have to lose weight for) and my mental health.

I'm a bit overwhelmed tbh.

This seems like a good place with lots of people who are doing the hard things, so here I am. Hi!
 
Welcome to the forum

What is your diet like at the minute?

As your mental health is making you have a fear of losing weight is your counsellor able to suggest anything to help the mental side of weight loss?
 
Thanks!

It's been a week since I got the latest HbA1c and I've been following the Mediterranean diet on the Diabetes uk website. I love the food, don't feel hungry, and have lost a little weight. The fear hasn't crept in yet.

A simple change that's been helping is preparing and eating dinner later in the evening (when I'm more likely to binge.)

I'll be working with my counsellor on this from this week. I hadn't realised what was going on with my weight until a week ago.
 
That’s good that you’ve started making progres.

Little changes, like you’ve done with when you eat dinner, will help
 
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Transferring from where you posted elsewhere, any clues yet as to why you are afraid of losing weight? It seems such a curious fear. I wondered whether it's because society associates 'bulk' with 'strength' and 'lack of bulk' with 'weakness'??

Is it losing weight you are afraid of, or feeling hungry? I've always feared being hungry, which has always meant that I wanted to eat more than I needed 'just in case'!!

Good that eating dinner later is helping you avoid the 'danger hour' when bingeing beckons!!! (I eat dinner late as I'm scared I'll feel hungry overnight otherwise!!!)
 
Thanks

Yes, I've learned where the fear stems from. It's a trauma response - I feel safer when I'm bigger. I'm not afraid of being hungry though I admit to being grumpy when I'm hungry!
 
Welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear what a difficult time you are having, but really encouraging to hear the positive progress you are making - that you are accessing counselling support to help you, and that you have found a way of eating that is suiting you.

Keep going!

These can be thorny and challenging things to work through, but take things gradually step-by-step, be kind to yourself, and recognise how well you are doing. Keep taking small steps forward 🙂
 
Sometimes people do things out of habit.
I was talking to someone the other day who commented that his 'over eating' stemmed from being in the army when if there was food available you always ate because you were never sure when you might get your next meal and even though it was years ago the habit is still with him.
 
Yes, I've learned where the fear stems from. It's a trauma response - I feel safer when I'm bigger.
**

Ah ha, so I was on the right lines with my guess!

What though, if you built up muscle, instead of fat? Then your physical bulk would be healthy and strong.

Muscle also weighs more than fat, so if you fear losing weight, that is also good.

Glad you don't fear feeling hungry. That's one 'hangup' less to worry about!!! I can echo the bit about the army, eating when there is food available beause you don' know when it might next be. Happiness is a full fridge and store cupboard, and having an extra packet of everything 'just in case'....!!
 
Hi @petri and welcome to the forum!

Thank you for sharing your story with us - that's really brave of you to do so.

I can see why you feel overwhelmed, I feel like it can be really difficult to balance your mental health and physical health and they're both just as important as each other and linked to each other too!

I feel like @Callista made quite a good suggestion about building muscle so that you don't panic as much. I also think that maybe taking it slow could help so that the trauma response doesn't kick in super intensely and make you panic. If it's about feeling safer, maybe you can find another way to feel safe?

Perhaps this weight loss/health journey could help you figure out any other triggers, explore the reasons behind this trauma response and the things that are behind your eating disorder.

Eating disorders are fairly complex and recovery takes time so please be kind to yourself, don't put too much pressure on yourself to do things really quickly. The fact that you are trying is amazing and shows that you are strong 🙂

Remember that recovery is not in a straight line and sometimes you take a couple of steps back, but every time that you hop back on the recovery train you're just that little bit stronger.
 
Thanks so much everyone! I'm doing okay. One day at a time right!
 
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