Where to start! My 18yo son has been type 1 for 10 years. The last 3 have been sheer hell. His personality change and excess drinking/weeing were the first signals that he might have been diabetic. Prior to that he was so bubbly and daft. Now, he's like Jekyll and Hyde. He's just left home for the 3rd time. Last year he was smoking weed and drinking. He started stealing, lying and a really nasty side appeared. After being spoken to about his behaviour he left. He spent 2 months sleeping on a friends floor, ran a constant hyper and got scabbies. He finally came home. That lasted 3 weeks. He took himself off again when he was asked why he didn't like his new haircut! He got himself a flat through some charity or another and after 2 months there came home again promising to change. He did and it was a pleasure. He started a new college course and cut out all his vices and found a girlfriend. But he's been struggling with his mental health. Sometimes he's lovely and level headed, other times he's a nasty manipulative liar. You don't know where you stand with him. He went on holiday with his two older brothers earlier this month and destroyed the holiday. His self management went to pot and he was that agressive with them that they are giving him a widebearth now. Since he came back he has been on a protein diet and had become obsessed with his diabetes and has decided that he is the only one who knows how to handle diabeted and that everyone else is stupidly ignorant. Now he's gone again because I asked him to hoover the stairs and as a reward me and his dad were told exactly what he thinks of us. Which was the exact opposite of what he said the night before! I know teens flipflop but his behaviour is worrying. He sends lenghty nasty texts and then behaves like it never happened. I am at the end of my tether with him. There's loads of other things he does that make me think he depressed. We've tried to get him to speak to professional but won't. So he's gone again and I'm worried about him. Sorry for rattling on.
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Help! I'm worried about son's mental health
- Thread starter tadhgsmum
- Start date
Hi @tadhgsmum ,
Thank you so much for sharing - and please don’t apologise, you’re absolutely not rattling on. You’re dealing with an incredibly difficult, heartbreaking situation, and it makes complete sense that you’re feeling at the end of your tether. It sounds like you’ve been doing everything you can as a parent - supporting your son through his diabetes, trying to encourage him toward stability, and being there for him through all these emotional and behavioural ups and downs. That’s a huge emotional load, and I really feel for you.
Type 1 diabetes can be tough enough to manage even for adults, and when you throw in the chaos of adolescence, mental health struggles, and possibly poor coping strategies like weed or alcohol, it becomes so much more complicated. The mood swings, denial, obsessive behaviours, and anger you describe are things others here have experienced too, either with loved ones or themselves - it doesn’t make it any easier to live through, but I hope it helps to know you’re not alone.
It really does sound like your son is struggling internally, possibly with anxiety, depression, diabetes burnout or even other MH issues. That mix of manipulation, withdrawal, and sudden idealisation of control (like the protein diet obsession) could be his way of trying to reclaim some sense of stability - even if it’s coming out in damaging or unpredictable ways. It's so painful to watch, especially when the child you remember as bubbly and daft feels like they're slipping further away.
It’s also completely valid for you to need support, too. Maybe connecting with others who’ve supported young people with diabetes and mental health issues could help, or even reaching out to a family support service like YoungMinds or Carers UK, just to have someone in your corner. There might need to be some strict boundaries set for your own wellbeing, which I know is easier said than done, especially when it concerns your child. You do, however, have other children and your own wellbeing to worry about too. His going away is an attempt to 'punish', so you'd feel reluctant or even scared to tick him off - 'better to have him happy at home, than miserable somewhere you don't know', but if such behaviours are allowed - things could escalate. It does sound that your son needs support and maybe through getting support yourself you might find effective ways to convince him to seek support for himself too.
I really hope he finds his way back again - and that in time he’s able to accept professional help. But in the meantime, know that you’ve done and are doing your best, even if it might not feel like enough right now. Please keep posting if it helps - there are people here who truly understand and want to listen.
Thank you so much for sharing - and please don’t apologise, you’re absolutely not rattling on. You’re dealing with an incredibly difficult, heartbreaking situation, and it makes complete sense that you’re feeling at the end of your tether. It sounds like you’ve been doing everything you can as a parent - supporting your son through his diabetes, trying to encourage him toward stability, and being there for him through all these emotional and behavioural ups and downs. That’s a huge emotional load, and I really feel for you.
Type 1 diabetes can be tough enough to manage even for adults, and when you throw in the chaos of adolescence, mental health struggles, and possibly poor coping strategies like weed or alcohol, it becomes so much more complicated. The mood swings, denial, obsessive behaviours, and anger you describe are things others here have experienced too, either with loved ones or themselves - it doesn’t make it any easier to live through, but I hope it helps to know you’re not alone.
It really does sound like your son is struggling internally, possibly with anxiety, depression, diabetes burnout or even other MH issues. That mix of manipulation, withdrawal, and sudden idealisation of control (like the protein diet obsession) could be his way of trying to reclaim some sense of stability - even if it’s coming out in damaging or unpredictable ways. It's so painful to watch, especially when the child you remember as bubbly and daft feels like they're slipping further away.
It’s also completely valid for you to need support, too. Maybe connecting with others who’ve supported young people with diabetes and mental health issues could help, or even reaching out to a family support service like YoungMinds or Carers UK, just to have someone in your corner. There might need to be some strict boundaries set for your own wellbeing, which I know is easier said than done, especially when it concerns your child. You do, however, have other children and your own wellbeing to worry about too. His going away is an attempt to 'punish', so you'd feel reluctant or even scared to tick him off - 'better to have him happy at home, than miserable somewhere you don't know', but if such behaviours are allowed - things could escalate. It does sound that your son needs support and maybe through getting support yourself you might find effective ways to convince him to seek support for himself too.
I really hope he finds his way back again - and that in time he’s able to accept professional help. But in the meantime, know that you’ve done and are doing your best, even if it might not feel like enough right now. Please keep posting if it helps - there are people here who truly understand and want to listen.
Inka
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Modern weed can cause mental health problems @tadhgsmum so that probably didn’t help. His anger sounds worrying and upsetting. It must be hard to know if it’s related to his diabetes or to his MH. Is he still with his girlfriend? If so, what does she think? Could he have moved on to other drugs?
I second the advice to call Young Minds. I’d also see if his friends and brothers have any idea of what causes these changes in him. Is it anger at the diabetes? A separate MH problem? Drugs or alcohol?
I second the advice to call Young Minds. I’d also see if his friends and brothers have any idea of what causes these changes in him. Is it anger at the diabetes? A separate MH problem? Drugs or alcohol?
Leadinglights
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Is he still trying to do the college course as the college should have a student support tutor who may be able to help but the main thing is to get him to acknowledge that he needs help.
