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Help from family

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T

Teadance

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Just wondered (Ok, it's a moan!) how much help you ask for/are given by partners/family?
Is it reasonable to ask them to hide sweet treats, puddings etc? Is it ok to ask them to eat them out of your sight? Is it better to tolerate them eating treats in front of you, as you can't always avoid people eating treats? Do they comply? Just wondered.
 
None what so ever.

Hiding certainly not. Don't have them.

I always had a problem having to sit there another hour and a half at the table. It's s*** to have the 'got to stop at the table while others are still getting round to finishing' rule inflicted on you.
Life's too short. When you've finished you leave the table.
 
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PS. Since diagnoses of my various conditions (which I never mention 😉) I've started not putting up with cr*** family b****
 
Teadance said:
Just wondered (Ok, it's a moan!) how much help you ask for/are given by partners/family?
Is it reasonable to ask them to hide sweet treats, puddings etc? Is it ok to ask them to eat them out of your sight? Is it better to tolerate them eating treats in front of you, as you can't always avoid people eating treats? Do they comply? Just wondered.
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No t's not reasonable. I grew up as a small child with diabetes and there never was an issue regarding sweets/treats. If what ever my brothers were having was not suitable for me an alternative was found. Did I have an issue with this?........... nope.
If you are actually hungry then find an alternative that you can have if it's just self pity then find yourself something else to do to distract yourself. 🙂
 
Think you just have to ramp up your own self-control, frankly !

I don't have all that much of it myself - so I always have to choose to exercise it. I suggest everyone does the same.
 
I'm fortunate in that respect - I live on my own so I decide what comes into the house and don't get taunted by anyone 🙂

I did once write a poem about how I felt early after my diagnosis though...😱


Casually consuming crisps

As I was out walking, I happened to meet
Someone casually eating some crisps in the street.
Now, that’s not remarkable, I hear you all say,
For it’s something we witness almost every day!
Well, that may be true, but I think you may find
Diabetes brings thoughts of a quite different kind.
The thoughts may be angry: how dare she do that!
Just stuffing her face at the drop of a hat!
The thoughts may be jealous: I wish it was me,
Enjoying those crisps so entirely carefree!
Or, maybe some sadness: I remember the time
When I would eat crisps, oh the taste was sublime!
Now that one simple act that the girl took for granted,
For me, is a sin that must now be recanted.
The carbs in the crisps would send my blood sugar high –
It’s hard to resist, but I really must try!
But once in a while, I may admit defeat,
And casually consume some crisps in the street!

:D
 
Doesn't bother me. If wife is munching on maltesers, I'll have a couple of squares of 85% choc instead.
 
It's like everything really isn't it - if you pack up smoking - wherever you happen to go there will be MILLIONS of smokers - whereas last week when you did still smoke you were a lone figure on the doorstep of the (eg) pub and struggling to find anywhere to dispose of your nub-end!
 
trophywench said:
It's like everything really isn't it - if you pack up smoking - wherever you happen to go there will be MILLIONS of smokers - whereas last week when you did still smoke you were a lone figure on the doorstep of the (eg) pub and struggling to find anywhere to dispose of your nub-end!
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Yes, I well remember that! 😱 Same when you give up booze! 😱 🙂
 
Northerner said:
Yes, I well remember that! 😱 Same when you give up booze! 😱 🙂
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Not sure on rules of you tube links please delete if not OK.

The Diabetes Blues by Gaz Brookfield, a song about west country boy giving up the cider.

As for family support I get a lot, maybe too much they seem consider my low carb diet as some sort allergy, "Ohh he cant have bread, or potatoes" which isn't what you say if someone was on low fat diet, counting calories or sin points.
 
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khskel said:
Can't say it bothers me overmuch, same with the numerous charity cake sales and birthday treats at work. I'm not going to spoil anyone's enjoyment by trying to lay a guilt trip on them.
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Nor me - I perforce gave up smoking on 17th October (not much choice as an in-patient confined to bed really LOL) and of course I'm at home now, Pete still smokes. I've told him he stinks! LOL
 
We're always going to be surrounded by what we shouldn't have at one time or another. Just got to get used to it. Can't inflict one self on others.
 
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Why should we inflict ourselves on others? A little empathy sometimes but certainly not expecting or wanting special treatment. What do we do at Xmas and the kids? Ban selection boxes and Xmas Pud? Really?
As Trophywench states and a very good analogy having quit smoking myself, you just get on with things.
Easiest words to say are "No Thanks" and get a moral boost because you actually said No.
Simples!
Will Power and Self control.
 
Out side of family I've been in situations where I've been expected to have puddings. Cake and custard. Apple pie and custard. People with no concept of someone not having pudding.
Say no and they are lost, bewildered. The universe verses to exist. They carry on trying to give you a pudding.
If someone takes it they'll say "Good boy." To adults. Seriously.
This is seriiusly bad behaviour with anyone. And these people know I'm diabetic.
 
Ralph-YK said:
Out side of family I've been in situations where I've been expected to have puddings. Cake and custard. Apple pie and custard. People with no concept of someone not having pudding.
Say no and they are lost, bewildered. The universe verses to exist. They carry on trying to give you a pudding.
If someone takes it they'll say "Good boy." To adults. Seriously.
This is seriiusly bad behaviour with anyone. And these people know I'm diabetic.
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I get annoyed sometimes here in China. They don't acept "No Thank you " as meaning "No". They go on to push and push and it is damn well annoying to be honest. The same with alcohol and smoking. This was even before I was told that I am diabetic. I have had to state on many occasions, "No thank you means No".
It is cultural and when it comes to food they believe in eating and eating and eating and eating until they are fit to burst so if you refuse food they think you don't like their choices.
Chinese never actually ever say what they mean, statements are always evasive and duplicitous. Directness is not one of their strongest traits. Therefore they fail to comprehend that when a foreigner such as me states "No Thank You" I actually mean No Thank You, I Don't Want It.
I get around this by stating clearly at the outset "I am diabetic" something they seem to accept without question and I feel that is because 25% minimum of the population here are diabetic.
At the other end of the spectrum the more enlightened ones who invite me for dinner or lunch will go out of their way to ensure food is ordered that they think is ok for me and will ask me outright if I can eat it. One extreme to the other.
The diabetics here however, continue to eat everything and anything as usual by the way oblivious to the harm they are doing to themselves. The rice, noodles and steamed buns they consume on a daily basis is really quite astounding. They firmly believe it is totally down to Sweet Food and nothing I say to people here can convince them otherwise.
 
I think that, now I'm a few years in and I know what works for me, my tastes have adjusted quite a lot so that I no longer lust after all the 'bad' items, so (like I guess I do when I see people smoking) I tend to worry for people who don't know what a strain they are putting on their bodies that may well come back to bite them in the future. I do still like sweet things, and I do still have them, but certainly not as I used to do before diagnosis when I would snack with impunity. So, I think it's a period of adjustment, and rather than being envious or resentful you have to develop a personal pride in the fact that you are looking after your health and choosing to follow a truly 'healthy' diet 🙂
 
@Northerner
It is strange isn't it? Since my diagnosis I have totally stopped snacking and only eat at meal times. Prior to Sept 28th D-Day, I constantly ate all day and every day.
In retrospect it was amazing what I consumed in any given day. A full packet of Club Honeycomb, 6 sometimes 8, chocolate biscuits and 1/2 llitre of full fat milk before bed for example. Like a waste disposal unit, shameful when I look back.
 
Vince_UK said:
@Northerner
It is strange isn't it? Since my diagnosis I have totally stopped snacking and only eat at meal times. Prior to Sept 28th D-Day, I constantly ate all day and every day.
In retrospect it was amazing what I consumed in any given day. A full packet of Club Honeycomb, 6 sometimes 8, chocolate biscuits and 1/2 llitre of full fat milk before bed for example. Like a waste disposal unit, shameful when I look back.
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I remember the moment, about two years after diagnosis, when I was looking for a 'treat' for my birthday, when it is allowable to indulge yourself a bit. I actually realised that I was reading the carbs on the packets/boxes and looking for the items that would have least impact on my blood sugar levels! 😱 🙂 That's when I knew I had crossed the rubycon 🙂 (I went for some chocolate eclairs, by the way 🙂)
 
Northerner said:
I remember the moment, about two years after diagnosis, when I was looking for a 'treat' for my birthday, when it is allowable to indulge yourself a bit. I actually realised that I was reading the carbs on the packets/boxes and looking for the items that would have least impact on my blood sugar levels! 😱 🙂 That's when I knew I had crossed the rubycon 🙂 (I went for some chocolate eclairs, by the way 🙂)
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Wonderful.:D
I am actually starting to do the same. Been shopping this morning looking at all the biscuits etc and reading the carb content and putting them back on the selves. Praying secretly I would find some acceptable carb levels. Actually using the calculator on my phone to work out the carb content of each biscuit. Had some cereal bars, Alpen brand, very cheap but 21.4 carbs per bar so put them back totally dejected lol. Sad lol
My Chinese friends here who come with me, their car, think I have gone loopy. The Alpen bars I bought 20 boxes of 5 bars to give to my Chinese colleaques. I will punish myself watching them literally devour the lot in one go. I have developed a Carb Phobia
 
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