Sorry to hear how much you've been struggling, Jess - I think a lot of people go through a stage of denial when they're first diagnosed, especially when they're your age and not wanting something like diabetes to hold them back from life (the good news is, it doesn't really hold you back - there's very little you can't do with diabetes that you can do without diabetes, it just takes a bit more planning).
I'm glad you're trying to get back on track now, and joining this forum is a really good way to do that - there's so much help and information here, and no-one will mind if you just want to have a rant now and again, as Martin says.