Hello

[ftt]

Just joined the forum today after looking for information on stress. I am 60 years old and was diagnosed T2 age 20 and weighing less than 8 stones. I was reclassified as MODY a few years ago. Normally my diabetes is well controlled with a combination of diet (mostly) and gliclazide (occasionally) however, I’ve had quite a few days recently where I’ve not felt great but couldn’t find my testing meter! My 89 year old dad moved in with my husband and myself at the end of July. We lost mum in January and quickly realised dad couldn’t be alone. He has since been diagnosed with dementia. I retired from teaching last month, which was always my plan though caring for my dad wasn’t. I seem to have permanently sore teeth, a sure sign I am clenching my jaw. I often feel trapped in my own home now, as I can do very little without considering dad first. I’m not looking for sympathy but would be keen to know how others cope with emotional stress. I would also be interested to meet other MODY diabetics.

 

[trophywench]

Just calling up @Stitch147 - she's another member with MODY.

Importantly for you right now there are Carers organisations - help for the helpers in other words. These are not only for practical help with those you care for but also to try and stop you going barmy too. Plus you need good advice all along - for as long as you provide the care - no other bugger will even enquire if all's OK, let alone care one way or the other. Ring Age Concern - they can put you in touch with all sorts of other organisations as well as themselves!

Have you got any really really good friends you can ring when you just need to scream, rant or cry? Not your husband - he already knows you struggle at times at what with if you live under the same roof. If you prefer to be anonymous, come on here and get it off your chest!! We're here for YOU - not only diabetes issues.

Plus - please please please !!! ring your own GP and say you're stressing. It ain't at all helpful for blood glucose levels whatever type of diabetes any of us have. And - for your heaven's sake - get yourself a new BG meter and test, test, test !!!

{{{Hugs}}}

 

[Stitch147]

Hi and welcome to the forum. My dr suspects I'm MODY after being diagnosed I was put on metformin which made no difference at all but gliclizide helped, I was 39 when diagnosed after losing 7 stone and was asymptomatic despite a hba1c of 127!!!
As for the stress side of things I agree with what trophywench has suggested. Hope you manage to get some help and support.

 

[Vonny]

If you have your dad living with you I sincerely suggest you get yourself to the doctor for some help. My sister is 67 and I am 61 and between us we care for our 93 year old dad who fortunately doesn't have dementia, just exceptionally poor short term memory. We are both highly stressed with the situation and both on anti-depressants. He lives on his own and one of us has to go every day, not because he can't cook for himself, but because he is so lonely, having lost my mum to dementia 11 years ago. My sister only lives 10 minutes drive away from him so she does 5 days and I just do 2 because I'm 30 miles away and also work part time still, despite having retired at 55!

You may not be looking for sympathy, but you have it from me....in spades. Neither my sister nor I could have our dad living with us as we'd end up murdering him, much as we love him. You are amazing taking your dad in and I take my hat off to you. You must look after yourself as well though x

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Welcome to the forum @ftt

Thank you for sharing your story, and the challenges you are facing. I absolutely agree that you should speak to your GP about the stress you are under and try to get some support.

One of our mods @Docb may be able to give you some pointers about carers organisations and how to access some support and help with that too. Caring for loved ones can be incredibly demanding - and as you say, this isn’t quite how you planned things for this phase of your life.

 

[Docb]

Hi @fft and picking up on @everydayupsanddowns suggestion. I think you are based in Scotland where things might be different but here in England local authorities have a statutory obligation to provide carer support. The quality is a bit mixed but as a minimum you get a carers assessment which helps you to think through the issues associated with becoming a carer. At its best you will have contacts who can use their expertise and knowledge to help with problems, talk to organisations on your behalf and get in place things that can help.

In England the simplest way in is to google "carer services" for your county - it is organised and funded by the County Councils. Maybe different in Scotland, but I have just googled "Carer Services Scotland" and got a hit on a government web site which should be a good start a search of how things work in your area.

Being a carer is not easy and I really would encourage you to look into what is available in your area to help you. If you do follow it up, please let us know how you get on.

 

[ftt]

Hi again folks and thank you for all your excellent advice. @Docb you are correct, I live in Ayrshire in the south west of Scotland. When dad first moved in following his hospital discharge we had carers in twice daily, as I was still working full time. The made dad's breakfast and lunch and spent a little bit of time chatting with him. I chose to stop the carers once I retired, as I didn't feel they were necessary and still don't. We will reconsider dad's care once the Covid situation improves but a care home was something I simply couldn't contemplate in July. I knew it would be hard having dad here, I was under no illusions. There are various activity/meeting groups for carers and dementia sufferers but these have all been suspended due to Covid. Dad said he wouldn't be interested in attending any clubs anyway. He spends most of his day in his room. He has a TV that he can't operate plus an Alexa that he never uses, he does read but I'm certain he gets very bored. Knowing this is a stress in itself.

On the MODY issue @Stitch147, I contacted Exeter University and was directed to some reading plus a MODY calculator. According to my results I am 75.5% likely to be MODY. I now need to contact my GP for genetic testing to have this confirmed. Plus the actual type of MODY will be identified.

 

[Stitch147]

My doctor wont get me tested due to cost. He just suspects that I'm MODY.

 

[Docb]

Hi @ftt . You seem to have got things pretty well sorted for your dad, although things are a bit constrained at the moment. Don't forget to look after yourself - all to easy to do as a carer - and is one reason why I suggest contacting carer services. Sometimes just having somebody to chat to who understands can help to relieve the stress that caring inevitably brings.

Keep in touch and let us know how you get on with your GP with respect to your MODY status.