Hello, my husband is diabetic and I'm worried sick :(

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alimarieb

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Hi, my hubby is type 1 diabetic, has been for 14 years (we have been together for 12 years). His diabetes has never been under control and as a result he has many complications, including loosing his sight due to diabetic retinopathy, he is now registered partially sighted. I really didn't think things could get much worse but on Saturday night he had a seizure, this has never happened before, infact we didn't know diabetics could have fits. Our 7 year old son was the only one in the room with his when it happened as I was putting out 7 month old daughter to bed at the time, by the time he has come to get me Paul was slumped over the chair frothing at the mouth, breathing really oddly and he look a horrid grey colour. When I saw him I honeslty thought he was going to die, I have never been so scared in my whole life! Anyway he was relesed from hospital yesterday and we are waiting to see his consultant, hopefully early next week. We did speak to the diabetic nurse before leaving, my first question was is this likely to happen again and her answer was "yes". I am terrified, I'm scared to leave him alone incase he has another fit, I'm on maternity leave at the mo and he doesn't work so I can keep a close eye on him but I'm due back at wotk in 5 weeks and I don't know what to do. I don't want Paul to see how scared I am as I have to be strong enough to support him. Any advice would be appreciated.

Sorry it's such a long post, and I've probably posted this in the wrong place!
 
Hi, welcome to the forum. I'm really sorry to hear about all you and your husband are going through at the moment. It does sound as though your husband has had a lot of trouble managing his diabetes over the years, but despite that it's never too late to try and improve the situation. What sort of insulin regime is he on, and does he test his blood regularly? Just trying to get some understanding of how things have been for him and where there might be areas that could help him so that the risks of him being in this situation again can be reduced. What sort of support has he received from his diabetes care team? Does he frequently suffer from low blood sugars? Do you know if the fit was due to an extreme low or high blood sugar level?

Sorry for all the questions, but if you can answer some of them then hopefully some of our members will be able to help you by sharing their experiences and how they handled similar situations.
 
Hi Northener, He's on Levemir on an evening and novorapid at meal times, so 4 injections a day. He's not the best at checking his BM (no matter how much I nag!). He was seeing his diabetic nurse very regularly, about once a month but I think it's been about a year or so since he last saw her, probably the same for his consultant too. He can go weeks without a hypo but then he can have 5-6 in a week with no apprent cause! When the paramedics arrived his BM was 2.6, which I know is low but they have been a lot lower in the past and he wasn't as bad as this.
 
As you say, his level was low, but not particularly so. It may have been that his levels had fallen much lower, and by the time the paramedics had arrived and tested him his liver had released some glucose to raise them a little. Does he know when hypos are coming on i.e. does he have good hypo awareness? It sounds to me like he needs to get into the habit of more regular testing so that he has a better idea of possible patterns. I'd also try and persuade him to make an appointment to see either the DSN or consultant soon so that he can establish where he stands and what he can do to improve things in the future. It's worth the effort so that you can work towards reducing those fears 🙂
 
He has almost no warning for hypos now, which is scary as they always seem so sudden. We are waiting for an appontment with his consultant, hopefully this will be early next week and hopefully we can start to improve things, I have also asked for a glucose kit, with the fast acting injection , so they are hopefully going to show me how to use that at our appointment.
 
Fits are generally associated with low blood glucose, it the body's last ditch attempt of getting out of it... The fitting causes adrenaline to be released which will raise the blood glucose a little..

My husband is T1 like me, so can empathise with the nagging concerning BG checking and another one of my husband's tricks is to pick up his hypo but decide to finish off what's he's doing before treating it, then attempt to treat it with chocolate biscuits etc... or become contrary and combative:(

But have a natter with him, show him that yes you are worried about going back to work etc... As he may listen, encourage him but at first seeing if you slowly introduce his testing routine, perhaps starting with encouragement to do his bedtime test... Then morning and slowly introduce meals as they come more routine.. More than anything it's getting them to become habits, so a natural reaction is to test, when you get up and go to bed, then you have a meal and the first thing you do is grab the meter.. But it can take time to build up hence the suggestion of introducing one at a time...

But it's never too late to bring your diabetes back under control..
 
Hi Alimarie. Welcome 🙂

I echo all that has been said, especially what Ellie says about sitting him down and telling him that you're worried and you're scared he'll have a fit when you're not around, so it's important to take some care of himself.

I had a period of having fits with severe hypos many years ago, but I haven't had one for a lot of years now. It's never too late to improve control and either halt, or even reverse, some of the complications. It's really a question of wanting to put the effort in to get the rewards.

How is his general attitude to his diabetes?

It sounds like he may never have really accepted it. Which may be helped if he could see a counsellor. Which his care team may be able to arrange.🙂

Rob
 
Thanks everyone, I think you're right Rob I don't think he has fully accepted his diabetes but he won't see a counsellor he's not one for talking, typical bloke! I know I should talk to him about how I feel but I'm worried about making him feel like a burden, which obviously he isn't, but he is very sensitive.

Thanks everyone, it feels good to be able to talk to people as I don't want to worry friends abd family with how I'm feeling and I don't want them to think I can't cope with my own family when they are already worried about Paul.
 
You can come here and talk about how you are feeling whenever you want. I hope that this episode will perhaps spur him into action so you don't have to worry any more 🙂
 
It's not uncommon to 'reject' diabetes and try to carry on as you were. I'm sure we've all done it at some point.

Could you try writing him a note telling him how much he means to you and how you want him to be around for a long time, which will need both of you working together to get his diabetes under control. One step at a time.

Ufortunately, diabetes puts us through a greiving process, like losing freedom to choose what lifestyle you want. Some don't come through it very well.

If you can get him to vent his feelings about it somehow, in a safe way, he might then feel able to talk about it.

Rob
 
I spoke to Paul this morning and we've agreed to look into me having a bit more time off work, we're going to speak to someone at CAB and see if we can get any help. I this this really has give Paul a big shock as he agreed to it very quickly.
 
Excellent news. I hope you can both find a way of him coming to terms with it so that he can start to tame it.

If he could join here, even to read posts, might help him. Lots of us thought we were alone with this until joining the forum. It helps you to realise that other people cope with it so it must be possible.🙂

If not, I hope you can gain plenty from here.

Rob
 
Im so glad you are both talking about it, i only have type 2 and thought the world was coming on top of me, as i only found out 5 weeks ago, but heraing your story makes me no there are a lot of people worst of than me!! i take my hat of to you as my wife told me to man up at first!!! but now we will be going to DESMOND, a day out if you like for newbies like me, so me and my partner will understand more, once again i take my hat of too you both 😉
 
Needs a male figure to help

Hi there,

I have a friend who's husband had a similar attitude towards his Type 1 diabetes as your husband. He had difficulty in coping because he felt it made him weak and not the "man of the house" - so he was depressed.

I encouraged my friend to join diabetes uk herself, after all as the partner you have as much need of help and support as he does. Would you have the opportunity to get to a meeting sometime? it gives you contacts and sources of help - even if you cannot go on a regular basis.

What helped my friend's husband in the end was being introduced to another man of a similar age with Type 1 diabetes who acted as a positive role model. Her husband could not say to him - you do not know what it is like, so he listened to the advice. It was also easier for him to open up to one person, rather than in the large diabetes uk meetings. This is similar to the buddy system they use in some places in the US and Canada - particularly useful with young men who find it difficult to open up. This is the sort of thing that your GP or specialist nurse may be able to help organise.

Hypoglycaemic unawareness is a difficult thing to cope with both as the person affected and by the helper. It must be very difficult for you, especially with such a young family. I hope the specialist team can help you both but some of the best support does come from sites such as this as well as organisations such as diabetes uk.

Mogwilover
 
What's DESMOND? I've seen it mentioned a few times on here but its not something I'm familiar with.

Paul has suffered with depression on and off for years as he feels like he has let his family down and he isn't a real mad any more as he can't provide for us. It's awful to see him so down and nothng I say or do seems to help him, then I get fustrated at him because he wont do anything to help himself!

I've just registered on diabetes uk so hopefully I can find loads of helpful information.

Thanks again everyone, you're all so friendly and welcoming
 
alimarieb said:
What's DESMOND? I've seen it mentioned a few times on here but its not something I'm familiar with.

Paul has suffered with depression on and off for years as he feels like he has let his family down and he isn't a real mad any more as he can't provide for us. It's awful to see him so down and nothng I say or do seems to help him, then I get fustrated at him because he wont do anything to help himself!

I've just registered on diabetes uk so hopefully I can find loads of helpful information.

Thanks again everyone, you're all so friendly and welcoming
Click to expand...

DESMOND is a diabetes education course, but for Type 2s. The Type 1 equivalent is DAFNE (Dose Adjustment For Normal Eating). If your husband hasn't been on an education course it's worth enquiring about it with his DSN. One of the major benefits that many people find is actually from being with others in the same boat, as much as the course itself 🙂 Some PCTs run their own courses, rather than DAFNE.
 
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