Hello . I am a partner to a diabetic

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Wearisone

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Relationship to Diabetes
Carer/Partner
Hi all
As mentioned my partner has diabetes, he is 56. I cannot tell you if it’s type 2 or type 1 , I suspect type 1 . He also has high ferritin.

He refuses all meds for it . Never gives them a chance . He used to be overweight but lost it all and more before diagnosis . He does monitor his BG at times with the Libre app . Constant average of about 15 .

My concerns are :
He smokes a lot
He does no exercise
He works a lot as his job requires it
He does not practice proper oral hygiene and has so far lost 3 teeth and poor personal hygiene
He is extremely thin and muscle mass is poor
He drinks litres of diet soda

Positives
He has a good appetite
He doesn’t carry weight ( pro and con as he is too thin now imo )
He appears to feel well but gets very fatigued

Diagnosed 5 years now and not dealing with it despite many conversations. I’m feeling overwhelmed now and worried I am becoming bitter towards him . Just really looking to see if anyone else has had to deal with similar .

Also I imagine he is in a very dangerous and critical path at this point .

Thanks for reading .
 
I think the first thing to do is to find out which type of diabetes he has. Do this by sympathetic comments rather than accusations because that will make him shut off. That will give you a clearer idea of what he should be doing.

You can’t make him help himself, but being non-judgemental might help him open up. Is he depressed, for example?
 
Thanks for the reply . Reason I said I am not sure is they initially said type 2 but last appt the gp said he may need insulin . I only get this info from him so I don’t totally trust it .

No he is not depressed . Unfortunately the hygiene problem was pre diabetes and he doesn’t see it as an issue .

I do most of his food prep and in the first year following diagnosis he got his BG down . But found it hard to hold it . He works a lot so it’s hard for me to micro manage everything . Will work on trying to get him back to the gp again soon .
 
If he is Type 2 and needs insulin, he’d just be a Type 2 on insulin. Type 1 diabetes is a very different condition (it’s an auto-immune attack on the pancreatic cells). You’ve mentioned he’s very thin - that could be because of his high sugars. If he gets those under control, then he should feel a lot better in himself. That might encourage him.

Diabetes of whatever type is hard. It can be very wearing and there’s no way to forget about it sadly. Sometimes not caring for yourself as you should is because the mental burden is heavy. It can become a vicious circle too because high sugars affect your mood and energy levels so you gradually do even less.
 
From the information you have given, I would suspect he may be Type 1 or LADA and if that is the case he will almost certainly need insulin. The automatic assumption by GP is that people of a more mature age are Type 2 but those symptoms do send up a red flag for Type 1.
As long as the soda he is drinking is the diet version it should not be doing too much harm.
There are blood tests he can have to diagnose Type 1 those being C-peptide and GAD antibodies, if you can persuade him to ask to be referred to the hospital diabetic clinic for those tests as GP often don't have much experience of Type 1 but even if Type 2 he may still need insulin.
What was the reason for rejecting the medication.
 
Welcome to the forum

Like @Leadinglights i suspect that he may be Type 1. As an adult it tends to develop more slowly so some people manage for quite a while without insulin, as they still have some beta cells making some insulin. As theses are also destroyed people then find it harder to control their level, not due to lack of care but lack of beta cells and so lack of insulin. This leads to more dominant thirst, tiredness, regular toilet visits and getting rapidly thinner (I lost 1 1/2 stone in a week just before diagnosis.

Many GPs and Practice nurses assume that any adult showing symptoms must be type 2. There are tests that can distinguish between the two. A Gad antibody test will show if there are antibodies present which are set on destroying the beta cells. Another test, which is more expensive, is the c-peptide measures how much insulin your pancreas is producing. I would certainly ask for the GAD antibody test. If your partner has a correct diagnosis it can make such a difference as the dieta requirements of Type 2 would no longer apply if Type 1.

let us know how he gets on.
 
Hi, your situation sounds a lot like mine. Husband is 61, just been diagnosed, very underweight currently having lost all body fat and muscle tone. Very tired and cold all the time but refused to see a dr until he had a recent UTI. Currently awaiting the results of an abdo CT scan and GAD test. Smoking heavily but refuses to quit. I have at least managed to get him to cut out much of his sugar and carb intake. I managed this by utilising an interest. He loves to cook! So suggested we look at this like a cookery challenge, an opportunity to get some new cook books (which he reads like novels). is there anything your husband really enjoys that you can use. Stay in touch, let me know how you get on. Being a partner in this is just as hard as being the person with the condition, your life had to change to.
 
Inka said:
If he is Type 2 and needs insulin, he’d just be a Type 2 on insulin. Type 1 diabetes is a very different condition (it’s an auto-immune attack on the pancreatic cells). You’ve mentioned he’s very thin - that could be because of his high sugars. If he gets those under control, then he should feel a lot better in himself. That might encourage him.

Diabetes of whatever type is hard. It can be very wearing and there’s no way to forget about it sadly. Sometimes not caring for yourself as you should is because the mental burden is heavy. It can become a vicious circle too because high sugars affect your mood and energy levels so you gradually do even less.
Click to expand...
This is informative as I did not know you could have diabetes Type 2 and be on insulin
 
Leadinglights said:
From the information you have given, I would suspect he may be Type 1 or LADA and if that is the case he will almost certainly need insulin. The automatic assumption by GP is that people of a more mature age are Type 2 but those symptoms do send up a red flag for Type 1.
As long as the soda he is drinking is the diet version it should not be doing too much harm.
There are blood tests he can have to diagnose Type 1 those being C-peptide and GAD antibodies, if you can persuade him to ask to be referred to the hospital diabetic clinic for those tests as GP often don't have much experience of Type 1 but even if Type 2 he may still need insulin.
What was the reason for rejecting the medication.
Click to expand...
Again thanks for the info . He rejected the meds because the first one made him feel very sick and the second he said it wasn’t helping him . The reality is he hates taking meds . Even when he has to take an antibiotic he struggles to finish the course . I have my work cut out I feel !
 
SB2015 said:
Welcome to the forum

Like @Leadinglights i suspect that he may be Type 1. As an adult it tends to develop more slowly so some people manage for quite a while without insulin, as they still have some beta cells making some insulin. As theses are also destroyed people then find it harder to control their level, not due to lack of care but lack of beta cells and so lack of insulin. This leads to more dominant thirst, tiredness, regular toilet visits and getting rapidly thinner (I lost 1 1/2 stone in a week just before diagnosis.

Many GPs and Practice nurses assume that any adult showing symptoms must be type 2. There are tests that can distinguish between the two. A Gad antibody test will show if there are antibodies present which are set on destroying the beta cells. Another test, which is more expensive, is the c-peptide measures how much insulin your pancreas is producing. I would certainly ask for the GAD antibody test. If your partner has a correct diagnosis it can make such a difference as the dieta requirements of Type 2 would no longer apply if Type 1.

let us know how he gets on.
Click to expand...
Sounds exactly like him right now , I will persuade him to get these tests done
 
Snapdragon said:
Hi, your situation sounds a lot like mine. Husband is 61, just been diagnosed, very underweight currently having lost all body fat and muscle tone. Very tired and cold all the time but refused to see a dr until he had a recent UTI. Currently awaiting the results of an abdo CT scan and GAD test. Smoking heavily but refuses to quit. I have at least managed to get him to cut out much of his sugar and carb intake. I managed this by utilising an interest. He loves to cook! So suggested we look at this like a cookery challenge, an opportunity to get some new cook books (which he reads like novels). is there anything your husband really enjoys that you can use. Stay in touch, let me know how you get on. Being a partner in this is just as hard as being the person with the condition, your life had to change to.
Click to expand...
I am sorry you are going through similar . Good your husband is now having tests . And likes cooking !
 
Wearisone said:
Hi all
As mentioned my partner has diabetes, he is 56. I cannot tell you if it’s type 2 or type 1 , I suspect type 1 . He also has high ferritin.

He refuses all meds for it . Never gives them a chance . He used to be overweight but lost it all and more before diagnosis . He does monitor his BG at times with the Libre app . Constant average of about 15 .

My concerns are :
He smokes a lot
He does no exercise
He works a lot as his job requires it
He does not practice proper oral hygiene and has so far lost 3 teeth and poor personal hygiene
He is extremely thin and muscle mass is poor
He drinks litres of diet soda

Positives
He has a good appetite
He doesn’t carry weight ( pro and con as he is too thin now imo )
He appears to feel well but gets very fatigued

Diagnosed 5 years now and not dealing with it despite many conversations. I’m feeling overwhelmed now and worried I am becoming bitter towards him . Just really looking to see if anyone else has had to deal with similar .

Also I imagine he is in a very dangerous and critical path at this point .

Thanks for reading .
Click to expand...
As far as personal hygiene is concerned shower gels or soaps with tea tree oil are pretty good as they are quite antibacterial and have a refreshing smell.
Does he use an electric tooth brush as they can be quite techy, oral care is important to prevent all sorts of mouth issues.
 
Leadinglights said:
As far as personal hygiene is concerned shower gels or soaps with tea tree oil are pretty good as they are quite antibacterial and have a refreshing smell.
Does he use an electric tooth brush as they can be quite techy, oral care is important to prevent all sorts of mouth issues.
Click to expand...
The problem is he doesn’t worry about personal hygiene. He has both electric and manual. Just needs to use them .

I have been doing lots of reading in the last 24 hours and I am convinced he is type 1 . I am going to have to very gently but firmly now get him to go to his gp and get a refer all for all the tests mentioned above .

I have been trying for years for him to go get sorted and he has an odd appointment here and there but doesn’t follow through . He has been blacklisted from dentists for not turning up to appts made . I am scared and worried and it’s all coming to a head for me now . Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and advice
 
Wearisone said:
Partner not parameter . Apologies
Click to expand...

Don’t worry @Wearisone - I’ve amended the thread title for you 🙂

Hope you are able to get your partner back to the GP for some checks (GAD and cPeptide) to try to confirm his diabetes type.

It could simply be that he needs insulin, and once on it he will feel heaps and heaps better. Undiagnosed T1 can make you feel like a zombie.

Unfortunately undiagnosed T1 (or LADA) can also eventually just take matters into it’s own hands, and suddenly turn very nasty indeed - so the sooner he gets checked the better. His diabetes may throw a strop at any point, and it could be blue lights and an extended hospital stay, which I’m sure he’d rather avoid!
 
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everydayupsanddowns said:
Don’t worry @Wearisone - I’ve amended the thread title for you 🙂

Hope you are able to get your partner back to the GP for some checks (GAD and cPeptide) to try to confirm his diabetes type.

It could simply be that he needs insulin, and once on it he will feel heaps and heaps better. Undiagnosed T1 can make you feel like a zombie.

Unfortunately undiagnosed T1 (or LADA) can also eventually just take matters into it’s own hands, and suddenly turn very nasty indeed - so the sooner he gets checked the better. His diabetes may throw a strop at any point, and it could be blue lights and an extended hospital stay, which I’m sure he’d rather avoid!
Click to expand...
Thanks for amending the title and also for your helpful words .
He is a bit more focused today and put on his Libre arm gizmo . Said he will go to doc soon . Baby steps indeed
 
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