It is pretty terrible that you are not getting straightforward, good advice to set you on your way to good control. Lots of doctors say you don't need to test, chiefly because of cost of strips and weakly supported by an old study that suggested Type2s not on insulin would not benefit. The consensus on this forum, and amongst the majority of diabetics (i.e. people who have to deal with it day by day, not penny-pinching doctors!) is that testing can be extremely beneficial in the early stages particularly, as it provides you with information about how certain meals affect you. If you read the links I mentioned this will explain why and how to test.
The main thing to bear in mind is that it is not sugar as such that is a problem for diabetics, it is carbohydrates in general as they all get converted to glucose in the blood and will therefore raise blood sugar levels. The key is to find carbs that only release this glucose slowly and steadily - Low GI foods or combinations. It is difficult to give a 'standard' diet out, since each individual can react differently to the same food. Most people are OK with porridge for breakfast, or something like shredded wheat or weetabix, or toast made with seeded or granary bread (the seeds help to slow the digestion and conversion to glucose).
It can be a useful exercise to try and work out how much carbohydrate you eat in a normal day. Read the packets and add up the amount of carbs in the food you eat (e.g. 15g fr each slice of bread) in a day - if necessary, weigh the food out so you can get a fairly accurate idea. Don't just add up the sugar content - you want to know the total carbs. If you find you are eating more than 230g a day, you probably want to look at reducing this amount by reducing portion size or substituting with lower carb alternatives, like vegetables (carrots, broccoli, cauliflower are all good. Eat lean meats and fish - sardines on toast is a good snack! Avoid pastries and processed foods generally, it is better if you can cook up your own recipes as you know exactly what goes into them.
Hope this helps! Above all, DON'T feel like an idiot! Diabetes brings with it a whole load of issues that you probably took entirely for granted before diagnosis, so it's hardly surprising that people feel bewildered, especially when they are given conflicting information from all sides. Read what people are writing about here and absorb what is being discussed, then experiment yourself and find out what works for you. Don't make any huge drastic changes to start with, make small adaptations and these will be easier to achieve and maintain.
Please do ask if there is anything we can help with - we usually can!