Gf of a T1 diabetic..

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mimi1989

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Hi everyone.

I wanted to join because my boyfriend has T1 diabetes. I'm worried about him because he seems to be far less bothered about his blood sugar levels. I get the feeling he's so sick of diabetes that he will give up.

His back story:
Diagnosed at 17, now he's nearly 21. He's a healthy weight, does exercise, doesn't smoke...but does drink far too much!

Both his parents are deceased so he has lives by himself and before meeting me was pretty reckless!

I'm a teetol, none smoking, healthy eating nutrition student. So a perfect match for a diabetic! It comes easy to me being healthy but he's a typical student and just wants to drink and eat pizza all day.

I have a very positive influence on him regarding his lifestyle but he struggles to maintain it when I'm not around.

He's very lucky because all his bloods etc. come back with good results. He was going to take part in some diabetes research because he was such a good example of health even though he had diabetes.

I'm very worried about him because now he's at uni, away from me, I feel that he is going to completely let things go. The alcohol is such a big issue. He wants to become teetotal in the next few years because he finds it so hard to control his blood sugars when he drinks (and he drinks alot)!

He's too scared to come on forums because I think it makes it all to real. I thought I would join as he might eventually join. I would love him to know some diabetics esp. people that have had it for many years because he really needs advice and support.

Thanks
 
Hi Mimi and welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear your Bf is struggling a bit at the moment. As a nutritionist yourself you will know only too well how important a healthy lifestyle is for him. We have other members who have partners who have diabetes and I'm sure someone will be along soon who can share their experiences. XXXXX
 
Welcome to the forums mimi1989 🙂
 
mimi1989 said:
He's too scared to come on forums because I think it makes it all to real. I thought I would join as he might eventually join. I would love him to know some diabetics esp. people that have had it for many years because he really needs advice and support.
Click to expand...

Hi Mimi

Welcome to the forum 🙂

That phrase really stood out to me, as it reminded me very much of how I felt about meeting other diabetics for many years. 'Makes it all too real' suggests perhaps that in some way he hasn't yet fully accepted his condition (and this can take a loooooooong time). Perhaps (as I did) he sees it as a recent annoyance, but not really him, just something he 'has to do now'.

To be honest it's probably harder for him to seek advice and support if his results are generally OK, but from what you've said there are issues that he is aware of.

I was in a very similar position I think. I'd always had 'pretty good' results, and any advice I'd been given never seemed likely to actually improve or address the seemingly random nonsense that lingered around my daily life. Sepak to other diabetics? What on earth for? It didn't feel like there were any patterns to spot... it didn't feel solvable. A few too many highs, a few too many lows, but about as good as could be expected.

BUT

Within just a few years of forum contribution and question asking I have been able to hugely improve my D experience (and slightly improve my D numbers too!). There are far, far fewer 'inexplicable' wobbles these days. The hints and tips I've picked up from others all over the world have made a huge difference. I now feel much more in control, and realise that I wasn't acknowledging how out of control I had felt.

Stick around and ask questions... or better yet, get him to read threads and responses (even if he doesn't want to post).
 
Hi Mimi

Have you told him how you feel?

I can remember the conversation with Rob like it was yesterday after he'd got his Hba results back and it was 8.x%
"she told me to cut out the cheesecake" Hmmmm knowing the nurse that prob was her solution too!

Anyway up. Having then discussed what number you should be "ish" and "that prob isn't an option for me" I did the " I'm here for the long haul convo"
It was B****y hard work but we got there in the end 🙂 Keeping it there is another matter LoL

Could it be your fella is getting good numbers because of erratic swings in levels.

I understand living apart makes it slightly more difficult but the key is talking.
Tell him how you feel or leave your post here open and available for him to read (when you next see him). You don't even have to say it's you, just say how it sounds familiar.

If he is serious about giving up the booze and you think he may struggle to do it then maybe suggest he see's a Doctor there is medication that can help.


Hope you get things sorted for both of you


Sarah 🙂
 
Hi mimi. Welcome 🙂

Just to add, that he sounds as if he may benefit from counselling. Possibly for the grief from his parents' deaths and also for general coping, eg. the excessive drinking rather than dealing with things.

The more you can learn about his diabetes, the more you'll be able to support him. Although, never lose sight of the fact that it's his problem and he needs to come to terms with it.

Well done for joining.🙂

Rob
 
Hi there,

Just wanted to say hope you get some good answers here, and please do feel free to ask anything, and one day he may pop on too.

I'm not asking but wondering where abouts you are, as maybe he or the two of you could come to a forum meet up, generaly in a pub and chat about whatever, doesn't have to be the D!

There are two I think (there could be more) in November one in London and one in Manchester.

I never thought I would do it, i.e. meet people off of the tinterweb, but it's always a good time with plenty beer or J20 flowing.

Cheers

Rossi.
 
Welcome to the forum Mimi 🙂

Hopefully if you're able to tell him how worried you are he may want to have a look at the forum/DUK sites x
 
everydayupsanddowns said:
Hi Mimi

Welcome to the forum 🙂

That phrase really stood out to me, as it reminded me very much of how I felt about meeting other diabetics for many years. 'Makes it all too real' suggests perhaps that in some way he hasn't yet fully accepted his condition (and this can take a loooooooong time). Perhaps (as I did) he sees it as a recent annoyance, but not really him, just something he 'has to do now'.

To be honest it's probably harder for him to seek advice and support if his results are generally OK, but from what you've said there are issues that he is aware of.

I was in a very similar position I think. I'd always had 'pretty good' results, and any advice I'd been given never seemed likely to actually improve or address the seemingly random nonsense that lingered around my daily life. Sepak to other diabetics? What on earth for? It didn't feel like there were any patterns to spot... it didn't feel solvable. A few too many highs, a few too many lows, but about as good as could be expected.

BUT

Within just a few years of forum contribution and question asking I have been able to hugely improve my D experience (and slightly improve my D numbers too!). There are far, far fewer 'inexplicable' wobbles these days. The hints and tips I've picked up from others all over the world have made a huge difference. I now feel much more in control, and realise that I wasn't acknowledging how out of control I had felt.

Stick around and ask questions... or better yet, get him to read threads and responses (even if he doesn't want to post).
Click to expand...

Hi mimi. welcome to the forum....I was probably the same as how you describe your boyfriend - I've been T1 diabetic for 19 years now (since the age of 10) and it's only been since I joined this forum and starting talking to other people who appreciated the struggles I go through, that I really accepted what I am, what i should be doing to take care of myself and ways I can do that.

I've also quoted Mike's reply as I was just nodding in agreement the whole way through!!

When he's up to it, he'd really benefit from joining this forum...I really believe this forum should be part of everyone's diabetes care management. It's totally invaluable.

Good luck, and please keep us updated.
 
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