First foray into forums...

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Vix

Vix

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Hi,

I've been a diabetic for 18 years, from the age of 12... Life seems like an uphill battle at the moment with my sugars all over the place suddenly, so I thought I'd pop by to say hi as I'm hoping getting in touch with people with similar experiences might help 🙂 I had a complete melt down last night and wrote this poem which pretty much sums up how I feel at the moment 😡

I just have to share how difficult life can be
As I wish this disease wasn?t still with me?

Oh, diabetes you are a disease I despise,
Every day lately I need to dry my eyes.
All I ask for is a break,
Every minute of every day you take over until I next wake

Please, please stop taking over my life,
I want time with my husband to be a loving wife.
The highs, the lows, the ups and downs,
It feels like a cruel joke, without the clowns

My food I weigh, and carbohydrates I count
But my sugars are a rollercoaster, no matter what the amount.
The insulin fights with this body of mine,
A disease I battle with all the time?

One good day would be a start,
To have normal blood sugars, and a change of heart.
The injections alone are enough,
But the emotions combined are making me feel rough?

Please, please, please stop making this tough!
 
(Ooooh er - Northey you have competition.)

Welcome to the forum. To explain the above, Northerner is a poet as well. No doubt you'll hear from him soon.
 
Ih Vix, welcome to the forum 🙂 Good poem! I'm a bit of a poet myself 🙂

Sorry to hear you are finding things so hard at the moment. What insulin regime are you on? Do you have any particularly problematical times of day?

Hopefully, by sharing your experiences here, you will be able to smooth out some of those troublesome times, so if you have any questions, please fire away 🙂
 
Hi Leelee / Northerner

Don't worry I'm no competition where poetry is concerned, in fact I hate writing poems but I was so angry last night that the words just flew onto the page 😉

I'm on lantus (glargine) once a day - in a morning at the moment as I hate doing my injections and feel if I can get it out of the way then I stress less about not having to do it at night... then humalog with my meals. There doesn't seem to be a pattern to my BMs at the mo when I look at my book - eg yesterday was the first day in a long time where my control was good until about 3pm when I had a hypo, then it went up to 13.6 a couple of hours later (think I over did the correction out of panic as I was out at the time) and then before dinner it was 17.7 so I did 3 extra correction doses and a couple of hours later it was 19.6 with ketones of 4mmol and took 3 hours to come back down to 12.3... then this morning it was 7.4 and touch wood has been ok so far today!

I can literally have the same thing to eat one day as the next, do the same thing (working from home) and it will be high one day and hypo the next... nothing makes sense right now and even my DSN is struggling to understand it!! But my emotions can't cope with the highs and lows, I feel like I'm manic depressive at the moment and my poor hubby must think I'm a nightmare to live with not knowing if I'm going to have a hyper 'crying session' followed by a hypo 'quiet session'...

I'm guessing that my long term insulin is all out but I have no idea where to start to correct it when i don't know if my short term calculations are right!

xx
 
PS - just looked at your blogs Northerner 🙂 the lament of the lonely lancet is brilliant, and made me smile which is an achievement in itself today! xx
 
Welcome to the forum Vix 🙂
 
thanks Mark
 
Vix hi and a warm welcome to the forum
 
Thanks, and hi Steff 🙂 xx
 
Hi Austellian 🙂

I notice that you are on novorapid and levemir, have you been on them a while? My BMs are all over the place at the mo and it was suggested I change to novorapid and levemir - do you do levemir twice a day?

xx
 
hi ypauly 🙂 xx
 
Hi Vix,

I can only speak from my own experience, but I used to struggle with Lantus. When it was suggested that I try Levemir, I found it to be a great improvement in keeping my levels steady. There was a bigger improvement still when I split my Levemir dose. If your levels are very up and down, it might be worth mentioning to your consultant to get their views.
 
Thanks Austellian,

My DNS has suggested that I change to levemir twice daily and to be honest my BMs are all over the place that it's exhausting so I'm willing to try anything even if that means an extra injection so i will discuss it with her next week at my next appointment. Something is going seriously wrong with my levels at the mo and she thinks it might be the lantus so I think it's got to be worth a try as it can't be any worse... my hba1c is 9.1 and I suspect the next test next week will be higher as my BMs are like a yoyo at the moment...

xx
 
Loved the poem 🙂

And can relate to what you say in it.

They said when they are going to switch your insulin?
 
thanks Laura,

I have no idea where that poem emerged from as I never write them, but when I have high sugars I feel really angry with life and that came from the heart as they say!

I've got an appointment with my DSN next Fri so will probably switch then as we are also wanting to conceive so it's essential I get my hba1c down from 9.1 asap!

xx
 
Vix said:
thanks Laura,

I have no idea where that poem emerged from as I never write them, but when I have high sugars I feel really angry with life and that came from the heart as they say!

I've got an appointment with my DSN next Fri so will probably switch then as we are also wanting to conceive so it's essential I get my hba1c down from 9.1 asap!

xx
Click to expand...

I know that feeling! I currently feel angry with it, lets see if I end up with a poem or baking!
Well fingers crossed for Friday & good luck on the conceiving green light 🙂
 
Thanks,

A poem sounds less dangerous than baking 😉 Although baking is probably the easier option of the 2 for me! It's difficult not to feel angry isn't it!! Not helped by other people's ignorance - of course I must just be eating sweets if my BM is high or not eating properly if I have a hypo or being melodramatic if I burst into tears for no apparent reason when my BM is 20... I feel another poem coming on at this rate 😉

Hope your control improves Laura

xx
 
oooh I just noticed you're from Leeds so local to me too 🙂 xx
 
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