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Feeling weary

Northerner

Northerner

Admin (Retired)
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I've been feeling a bit weary over the past few days. I think it has finally hit me, after 9 months, that I've got to deal with this every day for the rest of my life, so it's one of those self-pitying, 'why me?' moments.

My control has been on the 'hypo' side of good for quite a few days, and it seems that although I'm decreasing my insulin I'm not doing it quite enough - I guess for whatever reason my ratios have changed. Is there such a thing as a 'second honeymoon' with diabetes? Maybe some beta cells have been resurrected? The hypos have left me feeling drained and headachy all the time.

I've also realised that I feel bad whenever I get a reading above my range, however small - my highest reading over the past month has been 9.6, which was a bedtime reading and hardly disastrous - I read so many messages here about people having so much difficulty getting below 10, and I really feel for those people.

I think this is all a bit of a delayed reaction. When I was diagnosed I wasn't shocked or upset - if anything, I was relieved that it was something that could be treated, and quickly as I went from feeling dreadfully ill to feeling great in 24 hours. Now, I guess it's finally dawning on me what it means to have a chronic illness.

Sorry, I just wanted to bleat on for a little while and feel sorry for myself, I'm sure I'll get over it!
 
I'm with you on this one, Northerner ! While I'm on these tablets they have got my levels down well and I can pretend that it's all gone away and what are they all worrying about and then - levels go higher (but not too high) and reality kicks in - this is for the rest of my life.

Also spring is coming (I hate winter) but it's not quite spirit-lifting enough yet (if you know what I mean) so it's still "dark days" which matches my mood. Then I think of others I know who are battling worse things than me and I feel cross at myself for whining on (my husband has had a lot to put up with since my diagnosis at the end of October). Hey ho ! .......... write us another one of your great poems please and cheer us up (and you too ?).

Hugs all round to all who are feeling "down" today.
 
Hi Northerner,

I am sorry that your feeling this way - i thought you had gone quiet on here.

Obviously i cant empathise as i am just the mum of a diabetic - but i would have thought that there is an 'aftershock' to all of this.
It seems to me that once you have got your head round all the medical requirements - REALITY kicks in big time and you probably feel angry , sad and generally p***d off!
Alex is, i think feeling this way and we are waiting for an appointment with a phsycologist. I would imagine its a kind of mourning period that you go through? I know Alex wishes he could just go back to 'normal' as he calls it!
I am sure other people on here will be along to help more - sorry i can only see it from a mums point of view - but i was also feeling this morning completely overwhelmed and was going to put a post on in the same vein - but you beat me to it.
Dont forget that pre diagnosis you must have had 'down' days too - so whilst it 'feels' like its all about diabetes - maybe its a combination of general weariness and reality kicking in.I hope you feel better soon - but dont beat yourself up about it - perhaps you just need to take things easy for a bit - you have been putting a lot of effort into this site recently - and maybe its your bodys way of telling you to slow down and take time to 'heal'.:)Bev x
 
"Because bad things happen to good people" - that helped me a bit when diagnosed 12 years ago, to remind me that I hadn't done anything wrong, just been unlucky (and was rapidly discovering more and more things that were banned to me, including rejoining TA, working in Antarctica, on North Sea research vessels, professional SCUBA diving, driving minibuses etc).
I don't have nearly as many times when I feel a bit p****d off these days, but every so often, a situation will remind me!
And if you want a few days off moderating, just let the rest of us know by PM.
 
Sorry you are not feeling too chipper, and hope you feel better soon. Look at the winter we have had. Sensible animals (of which humans are not) hibernate in winter, so it is natural to feel weary sometimes.
 
I have found that after a period of relative stability, if I get a string of higher BG results I start to get that 'I just can't win' feeling creeping in, only to find that after a while things settle down again and I start to feel in control again. And as you say, hypos can take their toll and can be a bit scary. I'm sure you'll get things under control soon and feel better.

All the best.
 
Hi Northerner.

Sometimes diabetes gets me down. It is usually when everything else is getting me down and I suddenly think "AND I'VE GOT DIABETES, MY LIFE SUCKS" etc. But eventually I think life could be a lot worse!

Your BG control is sooo good, you really shouldn't feel bad about getting a high reading. Give yourself a break and try focusing on your HbA1c more than the everyday readings, this is the most important test to make sure you don't have any complications. I wish my control was as good as yours, I try my best but at the moment it isn't great.

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. You really help cheer us up with your poems :D
 
Many thanks to everyone for your kind words of support, really very much appreciated.

I have just cheered myself up with fish, chips and peas, apple pie and custard - should keep the black mood at bay for an hour or too!:)
 
sorry to here your feeling like that northerner,but im sure we will all go through times like this,but at times like this its good to know you can express your feelings on here,and get the support of everyone.at the moment i have had no time to think about it with everything going on.but im sure it will come to me,and i know you will be the with your support like you do for everybody else,so lets all hope your back to your self soon.
 
Northerner said:
Many thanks to everyone for your kind words of support, really very much appreciated.

I have just cheered myself up with fish, chips and peas, apple pie and custard - should keep the black mood at bay for an hour or too!:)
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hope you are feeling like your old self soon. its normal to feel down sometimes, dont forget having hypos for several days is bound to make you feel worse. My problem was getting hypers for a few days, sooo crappy and tearful. but you have to understand its hi/low sugars probably having this effect on your mood. so it should pass soon. Fingers crossed

dont beat yourself up over your readings, like katie said, i wish mine were as good as yours! :D im sure you will sort yur insulin doses out soon too, its frustrating that things were going well and then it all changes again, hey thats diabetes:cool:

take care of yourself. x
 
Such good support here, I have little to offer as a parent. BUT -- just to say that I've certainly noticed that my mood is more changeable, as is my son's especially, when his numbers are defeating him and us. It's a real battle, to learn not to always be in control. And probably the worst time since diagnosis thus far for all of us was when he suffered a whole week of daily hypos. We almost could not cope.

You're doing all the right things. Make sure you have the help you need, and that you are looking at as many aspects of the medical side of things as you can.

And maybe make sure you have other things to aim for, outside of good control? If you are used to goals, that is. Because good control is great and desirable, but your whole sense of purpose just can't rest there; it's too horrible when it swings.

All best.
 
I know how you feel. I have been diagnosed two years now and sometimes its like I'm grieving for the life I was planning and it has all been taken out of my hands. But I love reading the posts here and knowing other people are asking the same questions and have the same worries as me and the responses are great, everybody is so helpful.
 
Northener! dont let it get you down, Theres much worse things out there and as heartless as it may sound there people worse off too. If it makes you feel any better, your readings are about a 1000 times better than mine!! (and ive been type one for nearly 17 years now :eek: ) you havent been over 9.6 in a while?- i was upto 14 and down to 4 in one day.. unfortunately that seems the way things are for me. your doing fine buddy, and as everyone else has already said we all have a ups and downs (state of mind) this time of year doesnt help at all, but going to and from work in the day light and actually seeing the sun shine today helps put a smile on my face.

you just have too keep at it, it is something that will always be there so you need to face it head on!


chin up :)
 
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