Fed up with Diabetic Reviews

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keith2904

keith2904

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Hi, I feel I shouldnt complain but every diabetic review I have is stressful and depressing. The nurse emphasises all the negatives but offers no positives. B/S coming down but not 'fast enough' Lost 5 stone but needs to 'be more'. 'You have a 35% chance of a heart attack within the next 5 years'. I would have thought most 70 year olds could have the same odds regardless of diabetes. I never have holistic reviews but get charts telling me I need to be doing better. Everything is medical. I don't think I will attend another one. Sorry to whinge but the last one 3 weeks ago has left me feeling hopeless.
 
That's so demoralising when you've done so well. I suppose the nurses may be right and your sugar and weight technically need to be lower, but as you say at 70 that percentage could be a given for anyone. Just try and stay positive about what you've achieved and remember...don't let the bu**ers grind you down x
 
Vonny said:
That's so demoralising when you've done so well. I suppose the nurses may be right and your sugar and weight technically need to be lower, but as you say at 70 that percentage could be a given for anyone. Just try and stay positive about what you've achieved and remember...don't let the bu**ers grind you down x
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Thanks for the positive comments. Cheered me up.
 
I am reading your post and can Deeply sympathise with your words. I had to endure the same regime for more than 10 years and then the nurse left the practice and retired. The New Nurse was positive and listened to my still pasionate need to look for ways to improve my drug regime. People in general and that includes some doctors have no understanding of the demand on you to control something that most peoples bodies does on a very measured biological basis which has evolved over millions of years. Frankly you will never be able to control your situation the way your body once did. So you need all the encouragement in the world and more. I have changed my drugs and using some insulin to try and keep my numbers under control and for the first time in several years I may actually have an improved HBA1c, The fight should be to control your blood sugars not a Battle with others who have never experienced anything like Diabetes. I would like you to take my experience and demand that you get every bit of support you need from your Diabetic Nurse and change their ways - Diabetes is the hardest thing to control with the Blunt instruments of tablets and insulin and sometimes all the encouragement in the world does not feel like it's enough but Negative discouragement is No support at all.
The hardest part of managing Diabetes is often not the condition itself which is highly frustrating but the fight to educate people who lack the compassion and caring that should go with their role as a nurse. Have frank discussion with your Nurse if not have a chat with your Doctor and I'm sure things will change. You must Stay Positive to survive this world.

Best Wishes

Victor
 
IsVicThere said:
I am reading your post and can Deeply sympathise with your words. I had to endure the same regime for more than 10 years and then the nurse left the practice and retired. The New Nurse was positive and listened to my still pasionate need to look for ways to improve my drug regime. People in general and that includes some doctors have no understanding of the demand on you to control something that most peoples bodies does on a very measured biological basis which has evolved over millions of years. Frankly you will never be able to control your situation the way your body once did. So you need all the encouragement in the world and more. I have changed my drugs and using some insulin to try and keep my numbers under control and for the first time in several years I may actually have an improved HBA1c, The fight should be to control your blood sugars not a Battle with others who have never experienced anything like Diabetes. I would like you to take my experience and demand that you get every bit of support you need from your Diabetic Nurse and change their ways - Diabetes is the hardest thing to control with the Blunt instruments of tablets and insulin and sometimes all the encouragement in the world does not feel like it's enough but Negative discouragement is No support at all.
The hardest part of managing Diabetes is often not the condition itself which is highly frustrating but the fight to educate people who lack the compassion and caring that should go with their role as a nurse. Have frank discussion with your Nurse if not have a chat with your Doctor and I'm sure things will change. You must Stay Positive to survive this world.

Best Wishes

Victor
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Thanks so much for your reply. The nurse has 'looked after' my diabetes treatment since 2009. Always negative and always rushed with no understanding of me as a person. I have started doing private HBa1C tests before my review just so I can be forewarned. I'm heading in the right direction but she wont accept it. I will take your welcome advice and tell her how I feel at my next review. You have been very helpful. Thanks
 
I just want to say that you have done brilliantly. Your weight loss of is amazing and it is important to lower your HbA1c slowly and steadily rather than quickly, so the nurse should be delighted if it is going in the right direction. ie downward.
Sadly there are some nurses who seem to think it is their job to tell people off and make them feel like they are not doing enough and for some strange reason they have no idea how demoralizing that is and that it achieves the opposite of being encouraging. I am guessing that the 35% is your QRisk which is based on cholesterol. Have they offered you a statin to take to reduce your cholesterol? I agree that as we get older the chances of dying from anything increase.... it is a certainty in fact, so I do wonder about them getting so hot under the collar about it!
Hopefully your nurse will be retiring soon and you will get a "shiny new one" who will be more encouraging and supportive. I do kind of understand how some nurses get ground down and I am sure they see a lot of patients who bury their head in the sand and don't take any personal responsibility for managing their diabetes or make any lifestyle changes and rely solely on medication, but you are clearly not one of those, so she really should see you as the shining light in her day rather than treating you like a failure.
I do wonder if printing out your opening post and sending it to your GP practice manager might be useful in highlighting that this nurse's approach is not having a positive effect. You are clearly self motivated by the fact that you have lost weight, have joined this forum to learn more and are paying privately for HbA1c tests, so having an annual review which makes you feel so demoralized is totally counter productive and a waste of everyone's time!

Good luck with your continued progress and as has been said, don't let these reviews bring you down. You are doing brilliantly!
 
rebrascora said:
I just want to say that you have done brilliantly. Your weight loss of is amazing and it is important to lower your HbA1c slowly and steadily rather than quickly, so the nurse should be delighted if it is going in the right direction. ie downward.
Sadly there are some nurses who seem to think it is their job to tell people off and make them feel like they are not doing enough and for some strange reason they have no idea how demoralizing that is and that it achieves the opposite of being encouraging. I am guessing that the 35% is your QRisk which is based on cholesterol. Have they offered you a statin to take to reduce your cholesterol? I agree that as we get older the chances of dying from anything increase.... it is a certainty in fact, so I do wonder about them getting so hot under the collar about it!
Hopefully your nurse will be retiring soon and you will get a "shiny new one" who will be more encouraging and supportive. I do kind of understand how some nurses get ground down and I am sure they see a lot of patients who bury their head in the sand and don't take any personal responsibility for managing their diabetes or make any lifestyle changes and rely solely on medication, but you are clearly not one of those, so she really should see you as the shining light in her day rather than treating you like a failure.
I do wonder if printing out your opening post and sending it to your GP practice manager might be useful in highlighting that this nurse's approach is not having a positive effect. You are clearly self motivated by the fact that you have lost weight, have joined this forum to learn more and are paying privately for HbA1c tests, so having an annual review which makes you feel so demoralized is totally counter productive and a waste of everyone's time!

Good luck with your continued progress and as has been said, don't let these reviews bring you down. You are doing brilliantly!
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Thanks so much. Such a great reply and very encouraging for me. My cholesterol was 5 so she offered a statin. She hadn't noticed that I had been on statins before and they made me so ill and she took them off the prescription so I was surpried she offered them again. I'm watching my diet and taking exercise so I hope I will improve. Thanks for the encouragement. I notice that you put a lot of information about your diabetes on your profile. Can you tell me how to add this info. I cant find out. Best wishes, Keith
 
keith2904 said:
Hi, I feel I shouldnt complain but every diabetic review I have is stressful and depressing. The nurse emphasises all the negatives but offers no positives. B/S coming down but not 'fast enough' Lost 5 stone but needs to 'be more'. 'You have a 35% chance of a heart attack within the next 5 years'. I would have thought most 70 year olds could have the same odds regardless of diabetes. I never have holistic reviews but get charts telling me I need to be doing better. Everything is medical. I don't think I will attend another one. Sorry to whinge but the last one 3 weeks ago has left me feeling hopeless.
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Hi Keith,
meeting doom and gloom at the surgery is no fun and like you I refuse to attend so called reviews anymore. Having had type1 for 57 years and all the work involved has been by my Mother when I lived at home and by me now obviously.
 
keith2904 said:
Thanks so much. Such a great reply and very encouraging for me. My cholesterol was 5 so she offered a statin. She hadn't noticed that I had been on statins before and they made me so ill and she took them off the prescription so I was surpried she offered them again. I'm watching my diet and taking exercise so I hope I will improve. Thanks for the encouragement. I notice that you put a lot of information about your diabetes on your profile. Can you tell me how to add this info. I cant find out. Best wishes, Keith
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If you click on your profile name at the top right hand side of the screen just along from the red Learning Zone tab you will get a drop down menu. Select signature from the list and click and then you can enter your data there and then save and it should appear under each post after that.

They like us diabetics to have a cholesterol below 4 but 5 isn't a bad score and probably, if you weren't diabetic, would not be such an issue to the nurse. If you have tried statins and they didn't agree with you then that is fair enough. My guess is that the nurse was perhaps a bit embarrassed if she was wrong footed by offering you statins when you have already tried them and had them withdrawn, which might have made her more grumpy.
The important thing is to keep as fit and active as you can and manage your diabetes as best you can through diet and keep the weight off and do your best to lose a bit more if you need to, but feel very proud of the progress you have made.
 
Who actually cares that something one of us says makes someone grumpy - I know I don't! Unless we tell em some truths, they are never likely to change. I obviously know that you (Nursie Nightshade) have not taken the Hippocratic oath because the very first thing it starts off with is, 'First do no harm' !

Used to have an icon for her over on DSF, (she had a purple face) and as you also see now, also a generic name!

First rule of having diabetes and surviving it as far as I'm concerned - is a bloody great sense of humour - we all need one.
 
I have to say, I have only ever had on diabetes review, but I have had a few "discussions" with medics related to my diabetes, how I've gone about things and where I find myself.

I have done OK. I'm over 8 years in remission (or whatever you choose to call it), and in terms of things T2, very well.

A number of years ago the repeated discussion over statins started. y total cholesterol is never "in range" but my component parts very good, so I had no intention of taking statins. The GPs response was that people with diabetes should be offered statins - period. I asked at what stage I would be given some credit for achieving and maintaining remission. That question changed the whole tone of discussions moving forward, to her being much more balanced in our discussions.

I wonder if the situation is the same at your next review what would happen if you asked your nurse what she hoped to achieve by focusing on all the negatives with your situation, and letting her know you find her approach to be very demotivational.

Even if the nurse can't see what you are saying, you have given truthful feedback and maybe, just maybe, she might think about it sometime.

I would however encourage you to have your reviews for the other checks to your feet, blood pressure etc, as they are important.
 
I'd be tempted next time to book in with one of the other nurses if there's more than one, rather than see Nurse Negative again. I imagine that the reception staff have had to deal with their attitude too, and might be willing to book you in with someone nicer. I'd rather see a nice generalist nurse than the diabetes nurse you saw. Might not be their specialism, but at least they aren't sucking the joy from your soul.
Congratulations on your weight loss, you sound like you're doing great to me!
 
I can sympathize with you 100% @keith2904. It seems to me you’re doing really well - congrats on the weight loss, btw. Give yourself a big pat on the back. As @Windy suggests, can you switch to a different nurse, someone with a sunnier personality LOL? 😎🙂
 
Keith,
I think I would be demoralised too with that attitude presented.
All I can say is that there are lots of more positive Diabetic Nurses out there.
The lovely Nurse I see ALWAYS finds something positive to say even when I wasn't doing very well.
They are out there but it might be hard to change.
I will say that a Nurse with the attitude mine has gets me invigorated and ready for another round.
Keep trying like the SF tag line "They are out there"

Bob
 
keith2904 said:
Hi, I feel I shouldnt complain but every diabetic review I have is stressful and depressing. The nurse emphasises all the negatives but offers no positives. B/S coming down but not 'fast enough' Lost 5 stone but needs to 'be more'. 'You have a 35% chance of a heart attack within the next 5 years'. I would have thought most 70 year olds could have the same odds regardless of diabetes. I never have holistic reviews but get charts telling me I need to be doing better. Everything is medical. I don't think I will attend another one. Sorry to whinge but the last one 3 weeks ago has left me feeling hopeless.
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I wish I could have a review I’ve not had even 1 I have to go 12 months before I can get my Hab1c test done
 
WendyB61 said:
I wish I could have a review I’ve not had even 1 I have to go 12 months before I can get my Hab1c test done
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I sometimes use Boots. Hba1C home test and send back to their lab. 3 day service and costs £45 which I think is good value.
 
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