Fed up - literally!

[Barb3234]

I'm in a funny mood. Went out last night to Frankie and Benny's with my sister and her husband. Picked up the menu and my sister immediately said ' they have a lighter option menu there Barb', er ok, I guess I would have seen that anyway, then 2 minutes later, as we were all deciding what to have she said, 'it's really good, the lighter option menu, isn't it?'. Yeah great!

It soooo p***ed me off. I mean, I get it, I'm fat, I'm on a diet, I have no business enjoying 'normal' food like other people. I went from a good mood to bad in under 20 seconds and felt like ordering the most calorific thing on the menu. She of course was ordering a salad to start! Grr, I guess she was probably trying to be supportive but I can read and I can make choices and I really don't want attention drawn to the dieting thing when I am out for a meal. I didn't say anything and maybe I should, but i don't want to upset her as she is always very defensive/superior.

Trouble is today all I seem to have done is eat. I know it is because i feel upset about last night and I know it is illiogical but dammit I just feel got at.

Rant over.

 

[Caroline]

People try to be supportive and don't always realise how insensitve they are being. I get it all the time.

Is it possible to write a letter to your sister and say that while you appreciate her support you can make your own mind up and know which food choices work best for you. Tell her your upset by her remarks but hope she was being supportive and ask her to allow you to make your mind up in a more discreet way next time you go out as you don't want to sppil everyones treat

I hope you feel better for having share your feelings with us.

 

[Barb3234]

Thanks Caroline, all really good suggestions. Yes, I do feel better, sometimes just writing it down helps I guess.

I suppose the truth is I feel a bit resentful as I am trying hard and have lost nearly 2 stone, have always been the one with the health probs and yet she manages to make me feel that she is so in control and if I was I wouldn't have these probs. Over simplification but she has not spent half her life on steroids like I have and I just don't think she 'gets me' sometimes.
She is a stay at home Mum/wife whilst I have started/run my own business and really got out there doing stuff, whilst bringing up 4 kids. Maybe I don't have time to weigh myself every day of my life and record it on a flipping great graph, but at least i have lived.

Crikey, I think I may have more issues than I thought!

 

[imtrying]

oh Barb, that's horrible. and totally get how you feel. The more people try and tell me what I should and shouldn't be eating, the more I want to stuff my face.

Allow yourself today, and tomorrow's a new start.

And remind your sister, even when you're on a diet, you are allowed a treat every now and again....if that fails, you are a grown adult and perfectly capable of making your own decisions!!

hope you start to feel more positive soon. don't lose sight of everything you've achieved already. One meal/day doesn't mean it's over.

 

[Caroline]

I think you have done realy well. People don't understand how it feels until they have problems themselves. My nearest and dearest tell me I am more understanding now I have my own little problems.

Anyway i am glad you are feeling better. It certainly helps to write things down, although there are still people who make me want to lash out. I don't thoe as they are not worth loosing my job over...

 

[GodivaGirl]

((((hugs))))

 

[Barb3234]

Thanks everyone, your support and understanding mean so much.