Father in law with head in the sand

[Bex593]

Hi all,
I'm hoping you can help. My father in law has been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and is currently taking metaformin (I think that's what its called).
He lives 500 miles away from us and we are dubious about the level of support (particularly nutrition) that he is getting. He seems very vague about what he can and can't eat and will happily tuck into full sugar coke, sugar in his coffees and three puddings at Christmas!
I have studied nutrition as part of a sport and fitness degree but have only scratched the surface of this vast and complex subject but we would like to try and help him with his eating plans in the hope of improving his weight.
He recently told us he has started losing feeling in his feet and almost seems resigned to life in a wheelchair!
I suspect half the battle is that he has his head stuck in the sand. I know he's the one that has to make the lifestyle choices but if we can help with some sound advice, he can choose whether to do anything about it or not.
Any advice gratefully received, thank you.

 

[Mark T]

Hi Bex.

Does he self test his blood glucose levels? (Probably not)

The nutrition advice from the NHS, is, lets say, usually slightly lacking or potentially incorrect 😡

Loss of feeling in the feet could be due to high blood glucose levels, all carbohydrates in the diet are converted to blood glucose. Sugar is only part of the problem!

You could do worse then flick through so of the advice in the useful links for newbies thread.

 

[LeeLee]

Oh Lordy... where to start?! Education about the condition and methods of controlling it (particularly diet and exercise) are essential. Is he willing to find out more and make the changes that will help? Does he live alone? Shop and cook for himself?

 

[Caroline]

I don't wish to spread doom and gloom or look on the dark side, but you can only help someone if they want to be helped. Sorry if it sounds a bit negative, but am not sure how else to put it.

Let FIL know you are concerned about him and that you care and ask him what he would like you to do for him. He needs to know what you are trying to do is because you care about him and want to support him.

I hope it works out and your FIL will respond and start helping himslef too.

 

[megga]

I'm with Caroline, its a shame but you can only go as far as they let you. I have the same thing with my brother and his wiffe, both are extreamly overweight, she has had a baby (a year ago) and got diabetes (the pregnant type) and was full of tears as she just didn't know what to eat, and my brother was telling me how hard it is to manage (i sort of already know🙄) after the birth the diabetes went, so i had a chat regarding the risk of T2 and that would be for life, but they just are not interested.

 

[Vicsetter]

Hi Bex, sorry to hear about for FIL. It's a common problem (head in sand) - how old is he? It's Metformin (otherwise called Metfartin for reasons which may be obvious if you weren't 500 miles away). If he's losing feeling in his feet then you should advise him to go back to his GP and get it investigated.
Otherwise it's similar to telling someone to give up smoking, there is little you can say or do about it. Is it possible to get his permission to speak to his surgery/GP?

 

[Lauras87]

It's Metformin (otherwise called Metfartin for reasons which may be obvious if you weren't 500 miles away).

i was shoved on that when they took me off my insulin thinking i was a type2 - ha, bloods of 40 soon proved that wrong!
i agree with everyone else, if he doesnt want to help himself then there isnt much you can do.
you can try approaching his GP but i know from experience they wont help or listen as you arent their patient.

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Hi all,
I'm hoping you can help. My father in law has been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and is currently taking metaformin (I think that's what its called).
He lives 500 miles away from us and we are dubious about the level of support (particularly nutrition) that he is getting. He seems very vague about what he can and can't eat and will happily tuck into full sugar coke, sugar in his coffees and three puddings at Christmas!
I have studied nutrition as part of a sport and fitness degree but have only scratched the surface of this vast and complex subject but we would like to try and help him with his eating plans in the hope of improving his weight.
He recently told us he has started losing feeling in his feet and almost seems resigned to life in a wheelchair!
I suspect half the battle is that he has his head stuck in the sand. I know he's the one that has to make the lifestyle choices but if we can help with some sound advice, he can choose whether to do anything about it or not.
Any advice gratefully received, thank you.

One of the things your FIL will need to come to terms with (and this will be hard, because mis-information and poor advice can come from all angles, the news/media/doctors/nurses...)

Diabetes is *not* just all about sugar.

As you have rightly guessed full-sugar coke and triple puddings are certainly going to be wreaking havoc with his system (and probably making him feel pretty grim, though he may have forgotten what it feels like to have much energy by this point).

Simply cutting out sugary foods will certainly help, but your father in law has a condition which means he is effectively intolerant to all carbohydrates. He may be able to eat some in reduced quantities, but many things he may have been told are 'healthy' choices (wholegrain breakfast cereals for example) are quite capable of pushing his blood glucose levels up just as far and just as fast as a chocolate bar. Many T2 members here have found that the only way they can really truly work out which foods their body can cope with is to test their own blood glucose levels with a meter. Either on presctiption from a supportive GP, or by self-funding.

80% of the money spent on diabetes in the UK is spent on treating the (often quite horrible) complications that can follow poor control. But diabetes is a slow-moving disease, and any gradual improvement he makes will greatly improve his chances of delaying or avoiding d-nasties, even if things have started to go wrong (eg loss of feeling in legs).