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Falling into depression

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AJLang

AJLang

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Had to leave university this weekend because my health couldn't cope with it so now looking at empty weekdays with no goals, missing mum and providing emotional support for my Dad. No point in going to GP because of problems that antidepressants would have with at least two of my physical conditions and the best that the well being person that I saw before at the surgery could say was that at least I didn't want kill myself. Even finding it difficult to cheer up for OH.
 
Think of people of Italy and USA that have to cope with real estate businessmen turned prime minister or president and the following trainwreck. Don't think about Brexiters.
Feel better? No. Neither me.
More seriously why don't you try to learn to play an instruments and reading music? Or learn some language, both in sense of French and C++. You can easily fill your days if it's the problem.
 
Thanks Mike 🙂 I've got loads that I can do to fill my days I just can't get my mood up enough to do them, but I do really appreciate your suggestions. I guess I just have to take it hour-by-hour, day-by-day.
 
Is that a permanent end to your course or deferral?
Good suggestions by MikeyB.
One other idea - some universities and museums offer public lectures. Over the years I've attended lectures / study days on topics including geology, paleontology, WWI hospital history, fashion history, archaeology of skeletons, bird taxidermy etc in various cities. All very intetesting and either free or very good value eg £10 for a day, including lunch in museum cafe.
 
Hi Amanda, so sorry to hear about your uni course, I'm not suprised you're feeling so down. Just when you think you're back on track. I wonder sometimes when we feel like this, if it's our bodies just giving us a little reminder to slow down, it's cruel though when you'd been so looking forward to and enjoying your uni course...but you've had so much to cope with this year I guess it's bound to catch up with you every so often. Hopefully you'll wake up one morning this week and be back to your positive self. Don't forget we also have things like those stupid hormones lurking, waiting to strike and exacerbate any low mood.

I understand you probably aren't in the mood for suggestions at the moment. I also realise it's not quite the same as university, but how about an adult education creative writing course, or is there a local creative writing group you could join, when you feel more like it? You could still do your writing, which you obviously enjoy, and have something to work on each week, but with a lot more flexibility. My mum has always loved her writing, but in the last couple of years hasn't been in the best of health and so had to give a lot of her writing up. Last year she joined a "write your autobiography' class which she loves, doesn't really matter if she misses a week and most Sundays she's busy doing any homework for Monday morning. Is the Open University quite flexible? Anyway, take care and hope you're feeling more positive very soon. X
 
Thank you Copepod. It's a complete end to my course. Despite alternating between studying and laying in bed, and only studying for the minimum time that I could I ended up in bed for most of Friday completely exhausted and had headaches for 48 hours which wouldn't budge whatever I did. If it was a one off I would try again but it was a complete repeat of what has happened last year. Joy of CFS and only being able to read with one eye. I don't think the university does public talks but I will have a look. Thank you.
 
Thank you Lisa. You've completely hit the nail with how things are for me. Thank you for your great suggestions but I joined a local creative writing class but couldn't commit to it because of my health, ditto with OU. I'm hoping that I will perk up in a day or two and maybe (hopefully) get back to writing my book. I think today was just that I'd so built myself up to going back to university, thought that I could do it because I'd put all of the right strategies in place and then found out that I couldn't do it. On a positive note my OH will read all drafts of things that I write and gives good constructive comments and I've got at least one other friend who wants to read what I right. I'm just feeling a bit fragile at the moment x
 
Really good luck AJ. You know we are ALL with YOU. Sending some power to you.
 
Thank you so much Hobie.
 
Thank you Grovesy.
 
Sorry you have been struggling AJLang.

Take your time and be kind to yourself. I think you are right to try to take small steps when and where you can.

Hope things brighten for you soon.

We are here for you - even if only electronically - whenever you want to rant, groan, or rage.
 
Hi Amanda. I’m sorry to hear this. This could be a delayed grief reaction to your mum’s recent death and it was so soon to take on another large study commitment. I hope you don’t mind me being frank but you seem to put yourself through these undertakings time after time and then feel defeated when your physical limitations bite you for making the effort.
We all have goals and we all want to fly but no point in doing so when we haven’t the capacity to land safely.

My advice would be the same as I’ve thought before. Concentrate on your own book in your own time and within the limits of your health and energies. I hate the fact that for some of us, our lives shrink but our aspirations don’t.
I keep pushing myself but I know I haven’t the energy for strenuous study right now. You haven’t failed, your body has failed you. Give it a kick and move on! 🙂
 
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I'm sorry to hear of this setback Amanda, it really sucks.
 
Hi @AJLang . I'm not one of life's folks who gets down, but I found myself hitting the mental wall a short while after my own Mum passed away. It was utterly wretched and I ended up having a few weeks away from work to recover my inner resources and frankly my joie de vivre. During those few weeks initially I didn't do much, then I just felt a like doing a bit, until I felt ready to re-enter the fray.

I didn't have counselling or anything, but I did a questionnaire, a bit like this one, ( http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/depression.aspx ), weekly (or so) just to assess, for myself how I was coming along. It helped me accept, initially, that I was still fragile, then to begin to recognise that I was feeling a little bit more myself, and so on.

One of the things that really surprised me during that period were the physical manifestations, reflecting my grief, and in particular the absolute and utter exhaustion.

Be kind to yourself. It's such early days, and things will get better, but working (or whatever your personal coping mechanism has been), isn't always the answer. Frustrating, often straightforward time is.

I hope you feel better soon.
 
Hi Amanda, sorry to hear how things are affecting you at the moment and sorry you've had to give up on your uni course. X
 
Thank you everyone for everything you've said, you all know me so well. Thank you for those who've made suggestions - and I will be actioning them. Time to take a more laid back approach to life and use the limited energy that I have for fun. In the meantime I think I will spend the next few days just pottering around at home, crafting, cooking, snoozing, doing other nice things and looking after myself x
 
Amanda, I know that burnout feeling, especially after my diagnosis of T2, and I have had to cope with myself. the trick I have found is that if you are starting to do things for you that are active and fill your head, requiring concentration to be done right, but not tied to external goals could be useful.
Good idea about cooking: try to monotask on it and have an internal goal instead an external one. Study to pass an exam at the university is different to study for the course you are taking voluntarily at the citizen's centre or at the church, and the things you are doing only for you and freely.
 
at the surgery could say was that at least I didn't want kill myself.
Click to expand...
Good grief! Assholes.

You've not long lost your Mum, it will take a while. Be kind to yourself and just do what you feel like doing, if that's nothing then do nothing, you'll come round sooner or later I think. I'm sorry about your course but you can always do education at any time, night school and the like. I did French for years, can't remember a word of it now, all that hassle for nothing, why did I bother? I should have just done the garden. 🙂
 
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