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Please Remember: Members are only permitted to share their own experiences. Members are not qualified to give medical advice. Additionally, everyone manages their health differently. Please be respectful of other people's opinions about their own diabetes management.
ED
- Thread starter Sheel
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rebrascora
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Hi and welcome.
Yes, of course, ask whatever you like.
It might help us to know what type of diabetes your partner has and how well controlled it is ie most recent HbA1c reading and what if any medication he takes for it.
There have been a few threads on this subject so reading those might help.... I will see if I can find them for you through the search facility...
Yes, of course, ask whatever you like.
It might help us to know what type of diabetes your partner has and how well controlled it is ie most recent HbA1c reading and what if any medication he takes for it.
There have been a few threads on this subject so reading those might help.... I will see if I can find them for you through the search facility...
rebrascora
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
- Pronouns
- She/Her
There was some useful discussion on this thread....
(21) Need advice with ED | Diabetes UK
(21) Need advice with ED | Diabetes UK
Docb
Moderator
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
Of course you can ask a question since sensible discussions around all aspects of diabetes are welcome, but please be aware that threads of that nature are attractive to scammers. The moderators are alert to the problem and will deal with anything inappropriate so carry on but do not be surprised if odd posts get moderated.
Thank you both.
My partner has type 2 inherited from his mother. From what he has told me it was a few years before he managed to control the condition but the last 4 years he has done brilliant. From 3 meds’ he now only takes 1 metformin 100mg a day and doing great. I’m sorry I don’t know his last HBA1C.
He has been using sildenafil for a couple of years quite successfully without me knowing about it. I found out by accident but hadn’t told him I knew. Occasionally the meds didn’t work but not very often till about 6 months ago. Then it was very hit and miss whether they worked or not. What I would like to know is can this happen that sometimes the meds work and other times not. Could this be caused by him feeling pressured. We have a very close loving relationship and discuss everything but this is a problem he won’t talk to me about.
My partner has type 2 inherited from his mother. From what he has told me it was a few years before he managed to control the condition but the last 4 years he has done brilliant. From 3 meds’ he now only takes 1 metformin 100mg a day and doing great. I’m sorry I don’t know his last HBA1C.
He has been using sildenafil for a couple of years quite successfully without me knowing about it. I found out by accident but hadn’t told him I knew. Occasionally the meds didn’t work but not very often till about 6 months ago. Then it was very hit and miss whether they worked or not. What I would like to know is can this happen that sometimes the meds work and other times not. Could this be caused by him feeling pressured. We have a very close loving relationship and discuss everything but this is a problem he won’t talk to me about.
trophywench
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Well there are other things that can help with ED, it's a matter of what the people concerned (and not solely restricted to a man and a woman) try and find that suits them - it is absolutely NOT a 'male only' problem! I know a bit about this cos my husband had prostate cancer, which he had successfully whipped out hence he's alive and post op it was further nipped in the bud and prevented from spreading, by radiotherapy - hence, the nerves that do the normal job have been completely severed so can't work.
He still needs A LOT of manual stimulation to get interested and frankly it can be quite hard work to get him to achieve an orgasm - but yes he still can do that, even though he can no longer ejaculate - and still can enjoy that too, which is great for both of us - and also 100% guarantees a damn good night's sleep!
Too much info for many people, but there's no point whatever beating about the bush. Our hospital Urinology department has a specialist ED nurse these days - she's very matter of fact and business like too and certainly calls a spade a shovel! Quite refreshing to talk to her for both of us, not having to call either of our body bits by proper medical terminology for her to understand what we were getting at properly. If the blokes who are referred to her have a partner - she'll only see you together, cos whatever it is, it has to be right for both of you.
If he actually wants more help - then he is going to have to talk about it.
He still needs A LOT of manual stimulation to get interested and frankly it can be quite hard work to get him to achieve an orgasm - but yes he still can do that, even though he can no longer ejaculate - and still can enjoy that too, which is great for both of us - and also 100% guarantees a damn good night's sleep!
Too much info for many people, but there's no point whatever beating about the bush. Our hospital Urinology department has a specialist ED nurse these days - she's very matter of fact and business like too and certainly calls a spade a shovel! Quite refreshing to talk to her for both of us, not having to call either of our body bits by proper medical terminology for her to understand what we were getting at properly. If the blokes who are referred to her have a partner - she'll only see you together, cos whatever it is, it has to be right for both of you.
If he actually wants more help - then he is going to have to talk about it.
Thank you trophy wife for sharing with me. My partner thinks this is his problem not ours and it is putting a huge strain on our relationship. More so because he won’t talk to me about it only to say he gets a cold feeling that stops him getting hard. I don’t know if this is normal especially as I know he has no problem when on his own. Which he also doesn’t know I know about and it’s something I can’t broach with him as I tried a while ago and it nearly split us up. At the moment I don’t know which way to turn and on top of that he has moved into the spare room and refuses to talk to me after I tried to talk to him about the sildenafil .
He is a very loving man normally. But this is ruining our relationship and I don’t know how to stop it if he won’t talk about this.
He is a very loving man normally. But this is ruining our relationship and I don’t know how to stop it if he won’t talk about this.
Ralph-YK
Much missed Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
I've heard you still need to be "in the mood". And things like being under pressure could make a difference.
That's very common.
trophywench
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Sheel - just a question - are you married and if so was that in church? One of our marriage vows was to look after each other in sickness and in health - so we do exactly that, even though we don't go to church on a regular basis.
Mind you - we talk to each other whilst unleashing our carnal desires about all the bloody disgusting things we might rather like being done to us - and I am aware not everyone has such a colourful and creative vocabulary ... but if you instigated things by talking like a slut about what you might like him to do to you other than just having perfunctory straight penetrative intercourse - you just never know .... !
Just a bloody shame is all. Just don't go to sleep without having a lovely cuddle and saying you love him anyway!
Mind you - we talk to each other whilst unleashing our carnal desires about all the bloody disgusting things we might rather like being done to us - and I am aware not everyone has such a colourful and creative vocabulary ... but if you instigated things by talking like a slut about what you might like him to do to you other than just having perfunctory straight penetrative intercourse - you just never know .... !
Just a bloody shame is all. Just don't go to sleep without having a lovely cuddle and saying you love him anyway!
Hi Trophy wench
No we aren’t married. We have been together 5 years . Moved in together after 3 months. Lived together for a blissful year then it went wrong and we lived apart for over a year still seeing each other. Then we moved back In together and been together since then, usually in total harmony . We have love, romance we laugh and have fun and can talk about everything under the sun apart from the ED. We cuddle in bed every night, it’s how we go to sleep. When he isn’t in the spare room which I have to say he isn’t in there very often but when he is it can last anything from a few days to 3 weeks. He literary shuts himself away . . The sex side when it works has never been plain or boring. We are adventurous. Role play, dressing up in all manner of sexy outfits. I must have 20 different ones. Not sure I can do the smutty talk though. Even at 69 years old I find that difficult . But when he eventually emerges from being shut away I will give it a try. As you can tell from his behaviour He is a very complex man and at times not easy to communicate or live with. At other times the most amazing partner ever.
No we aren’t married. We have been together 5 years . Moved in together after 3 months. Lived together for a blissful year then it went wrong and we lived apart for over a year still seeing each other. Then we moved back In together and been together since then, usually in total harmony . We have love, romance we laugh and have fun and can talk about everything under the sun apart from the ED. We cuddle in bed every night, it’s how we go to sleep. When he isn’t in the spare room which I have to say he isn’t in there very often but when he is it can last anything from a few days to 3 weeks. He literary shuts himself away . . The sex side when it works has never been plain or boring. We are adventurous. Role play, dressing up in all manner of sexy outfits. I must have 20 different ones. Not sure I can do the smutty talk though. Even at 69 years old I find that difficult . But when he eventually emerges from being shut away I will give it a try. As you can tell from his behaviour He is a very complex man and at times not easy to communicate or live with. At other times the most amazing partner ever.
trophywench
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
Well of course - he might not like 'smut' might he? In which case it could be the worst idea Just difficult knowing what to suggest of course.
Good luck with it, anyway. I really do wish you both the best.
Good luck with it, anyway. I really do wish you both the best.
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