Drained

[Hayley whitehead]

Hi all, I'm a newbie!

My partner has type 1 diabetes and he's had it for 8 years and was diagnosed at the age of 27.

Just got to say (although after 8 years) I'm very much used to hypos and again he's just had another one and although he's fine now I want to scream....how draining!

So scary and don't help my 9 year old was here screaming her head off. Just needed to vent my frustration at this horrid condition. Anyway speak soon xx

 

[Northerner]

Hi Hayley, welcome to the forum 🙂 Just wondering what insulin your partner is on? What sort of levels are his hypos at? I'm guessing pretty low and so the reaction is quite pronounced for them to cause others distress? I wonder if he is losing his hypo awareness so things are getting very low before he realises? Lots of questions, but might help to get to the bottom of things. I have hypos, but mostly they are in the high 3s and easily treated with a jelly baby or two - no-one would really know I was having one. However, if you have a lot of them then it can mean that your symptoms only appear at much lower levels, by which time you can be very confused and find it much harder to help yourself. Is there any pattern to the hypos i.e. do they happen mostly at certain times of the day? How is his control generally?

Sorry for all the questions! I've been diagnosed nearly 8 years as well, so just wondering how he's getting on with it generally 🙂

Let us know if you have any questions for us! 🙂

 

[Hayley whitehead]

Hi, thanks for your reply. He's on novarapid and levemir. His levels can vary but when he's having a hypo he's never in the late 3s ever, it's always very low under, like for instance last night he was 2.1 then he had a whole can of coke and dropped to 1.9 then went up slowly. I do say to him that he's lost his sense of awareness as he said when he came round that he knew it was going low but didn't realise how fast it was until it dropped. My 9 yr old daughter saw him have a diabetic fit in asda about 6 months ago and it's scared her to death so even if he has little signs she screams the house down bless her lol, it's just trying to deal with his hypos and a screaming child just drains me, say up till 3 am last night crying lol! It's so silly but think I should get my 9 year old to talk to somebody. He seems to have hypos when he's run down, I think with all the excitement with Christmas and being back at work the first week has probably knocked him for six, he also gets them a lot if he's ill too. He's always controlled it well, he weight lifts so his diet is on point most of the time but if we have something naughty like a takeaway he tends to give himself far too much insulin as he's not used to measuring it. The thing that gets me is when he's low he gets so angry and the abuse is awful and when he comes round he don't remember a thing just glad I'm not on my own. Thanks again xx

 

[Northerner]

Has he ever been on a carb-counting course? The best-known one is DAFNE, but there may be different ones available in your area, so if not, please persuade him to ask his nurse of consultant about one - many people find it's a real help 🙂 It might help him to adjust his insulin more accurately and avoid those lows. It does sound like he may be losing awareness if the symptoms are only kicking in at those levels. It would probably be worth him running levels a little higher for a week or two so that his symptoms appear at a higher level. Some hypos are always inevitable if you are aiming for tight control of your blood sugar levels, but they should be easy to spot and treat - he needs to test at the first sign, or possibly even test more frequently so that he can pre-empt possible hypos e.g. if I test sometimes 3 hours after injecting/eating and I am in the 4s I can be pretty sure that if I don't have some carbs to eat or drink I will have a hypo within the hour. It's important to look for patterns, so recording all readings and their timing in relation to injecting/eating can help to show if there are certain circumstances to be wary of. Also, insulin requirements can change quite often, so it's important to recognise that what worked fine for you with a certain meal one week might need more or less insulin the next time. Obviously, I don't know, he may already be doing all these things, but if not a few suggestions that might improve things. Is he aware of how it is making you and your daughter feel, have you had a 'proper' talk about it, or does he get grumpy if you raise the issue? Perhaps he would like to join here as well? Diabetes can be quite an isolating condition as it's hard for people who don't have it to understand how it feels, so communicating with people who 'get it' can really help 🙂

 

[Hayley whitehead]

He's been offered the DAFNE course God knows how many times but he don't think needs it. It sounds daft but I think he's still in denial. He has no concept of what it does to us, I also find when he does have a hypo when he's better and falls sleep he sort of jerks for a while after so that's another reason why I stay up for a bit afterwards but when I tell him this he just shoves it off and says I'm being stupid. The other reason why I think he's in denial is he hardly ever tests his levels. After nearly 8 years some of his family and friends don't know he's a diabetic and for instance last night I called my sister to get her partner to go out and get me another coke as his sugars were still dropping and because I called her he went nuts lol saying it's embarrassing. Just a vicious circle

 

[Mini-Vicki]

Hi Hayley,
Sorry you're having these troubles.
My dad is T1 diabetic, and acts in a similar way to your partner, as in, he is embarrassed of his diabetes, and doesn't tell people when he should, which has led to problems before.
The non testing issue does sound to me like a bit if denial, having been there myself.
Has his consult or DSN offered for him to she a psychologist? This was offered to me soon after my re-diagnosis as T1, and really helped me come to terms with things.
Or some kind of counselling the two of you could go to together so you can tell him how things are affecting you in a neutral environment... Or thinking about it, could you maybe go out for dinner or something so you can talk to him about things, again in a neutral environment?
This forum is fantastic for support, I'm glad you found it xx

 

[Northerner]

He's been offered the DAFNE course God knows how many times but he don't think needs it. It sounds daft but I think he's still in denial. He has no concept of what it does to us, I also find when he does have a hypo when he's better and falls sleep he sort of jerks for a while after so that's another reason why I stay up for a bit afterwards but when I tell him this he just shoves it off and says I'm being stupid. The other reason why I think he's in denial is he hardly ever tests his levels. After nearly 8 years some of his family and friends don't know he's a diabetic and for instance last night I called my sister to get her partner to go out and get me another coke as his sugars were still dropping and because I called her he went nuts lol saying it's embarrassing. Just a vicious circle

I'm sorry to hear this Hayley I think you are right, it does sound like denial which is very common, especially when you are diagnosed at the age he was. There's little wonder he is having bad hypos if he isn't testing when he should, as he is just basically guessing what insulin he needs without any real idea. Most of the time he may appear to be getting on OK, but I'm afraid that this isn't something you can ignore. The thing is, it is MUCH easier to get to grips with things and spend the few minutes each day you need to in order to keep things under control than it is to take risks to both short and long-term health risks. He sounds like he's got into a pattern of not being open about it, and trying to hide it makes it so much more difficult to live with. There's no shame in having diabetes, it's no different to any other chronic condition, but there is a bit of stigma associated with it because of the media focus on Type 2 and the constant suggestion that it is a person's own fault. Clearly, his diabetes is not his own fault by any stretch. Doing a course might help him realise that there are others who feel just like he does about it.

I wonder if he would be interested, as he is keen on fitness, in looking at the Runsweet website? It gives all sorts of information about dealing with exercise and diabetes, and the more you understand the easier it becomes.

http://www.runsweet.com/

 

[HOBIE]

Would just like to say sorry you had to go through these events(hypos) Haley. I am not defending anyone but when you are going hypo you are fighting for your life. Sometimes your head is in a different place. 😱 Good luck with things 🙂

 

[AlisonM]

Hi Hayley. What a nightmare for you all. I would suggest you sit him down and make sure he understands just how badly this is affecting your daughter and you. Letting you daughter talk to someone may help her and is certainly worth considering, but it could be valuable for all of you to go to some sessions together. It might help your OH to take his condition more seriously if he realises he's not the only one affected by these hypos and how much it scares your girl.