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Down day

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bigpurpleduck

bigpurpleduck

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
RANT ALERT

Firstly, I want to apologise in advance for ranting about trivial things when there are some tragic threads on the forum at the moment. I feel ridiculous for feeling sorry for myself right now, but I need to get my frustrations out. I won't be offended if you don't read all the way to the end, can't blame you!

Woke to a 2.8 this morning. Although BG has been lower lately due to an increase in exercise, my morning reading hasn't followed this trend. 2.8 all of a sudden seemed a bit out of the blue. Because I'd just woken up it took me about 20 minutes to realise I should check 😱

As some of you know I've been exercising a lot more recently to tone up for my wedding. I've been increasing the frequency and length of workouts for the past couple of weeks. Today mid-workout my back decided it had had enough and completely gave up the ghost. I was in quite a lot of pain for a while. It's easing more as the day goes on, but I'm very stiff and it hurts to bend or stretch. I've had trouble with my back on and off for as long as I can remember. I've had umpteen x-rays and they can find nothing wrong. I saw a physiotherapist for a while to strengthen the muscles in my back which made a big difference, but with work I couldn't keep up the appointments so I left with a few exercises to keep working on, which I've done so religiously. For the past year or so my back has been a lot better than I ever remember it being before, and I'm gutted that this problem has reared its ugly head again, especially now. It looks like I'm not going to be able to get as fit as I'd hoped. Once my back has recovered I will resume the workouts but will have to return to 30 minutes 3 times a week rather than the 30-60 minutes 5 times a week I'd been doing recently.

Really hacked off. I was tweaking my basals to adjust to the increase in exercise and BG hadn't been too bad. Then woke up this morning with a horrible hypo, and my back's caved in. I feel like health problems stop me doing so many things. With also being partially sighted, the combination of the three can make life very difficult. Being unable to drive is my greatest annoyance. It really limits the kind of work I can do because I can't do anything that requires a car, and my workplace needs to be within walking distance or on a main bus route. With the type of work I do (secretarial/PA) this means I really do have a glass ceiling. I feel stuck where I am. With D, my eyesight & my back I feel incredibly dependent on my OH sometimes, which I don't like at all.

Then I got a phonecall from my best friend a couple of hours ago who told me that her uncle has gone missing (since Sunday), and the police have warned them that there's a strong likelihood that he has/will commit suicide. They haven't been able to trace him anywhere since Monday. This made me feel guilty and angry at myself for being so self-pitying when there are people experiencing horrible things like this :(

Sorry for moaning, just needed to get it out. I think part of my problem at the moment is I'm on holiday 'til September and my mum, dad and OH's family are all on holiday so I'm home alone with far too much time to think. Mum's back tomorrow and I have some wedding planning stuff lined up for the weekend so I'm sure that will help.

Sorry again, and thanks for reading if you got this far!
 
Don't apologise Emma. I hope that your rant has lowered your stress levels a little.

Sometimes life if like that - you are trying your best to improve things and you keep getting rubbish.

I wonder if you have been having night hypos - that might explain why generally (other than this morning) you have found the morning values haven't matched the lower values at other times.

The hypo will have left you feeling grotty - and then your back will have been the last straw. I hope it does recover soon. I know that some people swear by pilates for strengthening muscles - but I have never tried it myself. Sometimes as well an event that you have experienced before can bring with it old emotions - and maybe there is an element to that - of last time you had a bad back you were down - a little of those feeling may have hit you with the latest episode.

Although its natural to feel guilty and angry about feeling down - just accept those feelings and try not to get angry about feeling angry (if that makes any sense).

You obviously are worried about your friend - and if you were truly wallowing I don't think you would be - you are just having a bad day.

Hope that your friend gets a lot of love and support in the uncertain times she is facing - I can't imagine how she must be feeling.

Hope your wedding activities - help take your mind of things.

{{{{HUGS}}}}
 
Very sorry to hear this Emma :( I can sympathise to some extent because I have suffered various injuries over the years that have prevented me from doing the exercise that I want to do (the worst being when my femur snapped :eek) It's possible you have been overdoing things and that is why the problem with your back has re-emerged. I know it can be really difficult to hold back when things seem to be going really well, exercise wise, but it does need time to recover between sessions. I hope that it is a very temporary setback and that you recover quickly.

I'd also like to say that I have never driven (apart from a few lessons 20 years ago) and it has never really stopped me in my working or leisure life. I travelled the length and breadth of the British Isles (from Plymouth to Shetland, Anglesey to Newcastle!) on business and only on a couple of occasions was it made far more difficult not having my own transport. I often think once people have access to a car they can't live without it! I'm not saying that your situation isn't completely different from mine though, just that sometimes cars can bring more problems than they solve! 🙂

Hard to say what's happening with the hypos - again, I thought I'd cracked mine after a couple of weeks of daily hypos I'd managed a few days with none - then had two yesterday! Trial and error, but such a narrow range we are aiming for that at times it seems impossible. I hope things settle down for you soon.
 
Hi Emma ...

Firstly, never say sorry for having a moan, rant .... We all need to sometimes ... 🙂

Secondly Im sending you a massive HUG .... Im a mam .... and Nathan says I give the best hugs ever .... 🙂

Although Im not diabetic, Nathan my son is, these blooming hypos sometimes do appear out of the blue ... and dont always follow a trend .. But as you have been increasing your exercise over the past few weeks and as it is quite warm at the moment ... this may have a bearing on it.

I can sympathise with the back, I have suffered on and off with bad back for a few years ... One thing I tried, and still do on the advice of a sports physio .... Swimming .. it takes all the weight off your spine, helps strengthen muscles and core.

I cant comment on your friends uncle ... but mental health issues are a very complex one, but I have everything crossed that things will be ok.

Heidi
xx
 
Hey

Sorry to you have such a rubbish day. I can see why you are feeling so snowed under. Wish I could help! I'm only just getting into this exercise thing and I can see why people struggle so much with it.

Sending you lots of love and hugs xx
 
Hi Emma I'm really sorry to hear that you're having such a bad time. I completely understand and sympathise abou the not being able to drive. Due to my eyesight I stopped driving in January after 20 years of loving the independence about just hopping in the car and going where I want when I want. Susie also loved these car journeys To begin with I absolutely hated catching the bus or waiting for taxis (if I can't get a lift from OH) - but it has taught me some patience (and I'm a very impatient person). I really hope that things get much better for you soon. Big hugs.
 
Don't apologise for venting your frustrations Emma. I'm sorry you're having a bad time at the moment. I hope you're soon back to your normal bouncy self and can get back on track soon. Sending big hugs your way. XXXXXX
 
Many thanks for all the responses, it means a lot.

Alan - re the driving, I couldn't afford a car anyway! Most of the time I see the benefit of it, mostly in reduced cost but also in not being asked to taxi anyone anywhere. It's just one of those things that preys on my mind from time to time, especially when I'm feeling a bit low. A "What if...?" Pointless, I know. And on the exercise - I think I was overdoing it if I'm being honest. The next few days will be workout-free, maybe just a bit of yoga.

Margie - I think you might be right about the pain bringing back memories. Last time I hurt my back I wasn't in a good place at all. I'm also a fairly bad patient and get upset when I'm not well. Back pain is particularly frustrating. And on the pilates - this has been recommended to me before but I've never tried it yet 'cos I love my yoga so much. Think I might invest in a pilates DVD and see if it helps.

Heidi - I love swimming, but unfortunately there's no pool here within walking distance or accessible by public transport. Might twist OH's arm into taking me at the weekend 🙂

Amanda - I feel fortunate in that I have never been able to drive so haven't known the benefits of it. I can only begin to imagine what it must have been like to give it up. Patience definitely helps!

Thanks again to all - you're too sweet!
 
No need to apologise Emma, I hope you can get the help and support you need for your back. (((hugs)))
 
I would suggest some more physio and also pilates, you might be best to splash out on a handful of lessons to get the technique right before using videos, done properly and regularly you core will strengthen and your back will get better.... Made a massive difference to me x
 
Sorry to hear you had such a rubbish day. Hope tomorrow feels brighter and your back gets better super-speedily.

M
 
Only just found this. I hope you are feeling better now. Do you think perhaps you are over doing the exercise a little just for the wedding? From your photo, you look beautiful just as you are and I'm sure your OH feels the same! A bit of exercise is good for sugar level control and mental well being, but don't over do it, enjoy planning for your wedding xx
 
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