Do you give yourself a hard time with your diabetes control?

[HOBIE]

Thank uou all 🙂

I think the ongoing battles I'm having with complications is making me super critical of myself and the idea of aiming for a target in range as @SB2015 says is a good way forward and a lot more achievable than whatever it is I'm trying to achieve!

Please give yourself a big pat on the back from ALL of us. I need to use bad language because its ----- hard work at times. 24hrs a day. Sending you a big bag of good wishes Flower 😉

 

[eggyg]

I am the same, if my BG reading isn’t what I expected, same food same ratio same units injected. I then over analyse it all, even if my readings are in range. “ Were my hands dirty?” “ Is my insulin working?” “ I didn’t walk far enough” etc etc. My HbA1C is 49, not too shabby I know and the DSN is always pleased and tells me she wishes all her patients were as diligent as me. But I suppose it’s like everything in life, we always want to do better, be a better parent, partner, gardener, cook, DIYer and will always deride ourselves. It’s human nature after all.

 

[Lisa66]

Very well put @eggyg ! My HbA1C has generally been 55-56 and team have always been happy with this, although no idea what it was before this test came in....probably best I don't know. Now I use the Libre this helps immensely. (Most recent result was 50. So very happy with that). Having the extra info is a great benefit, but also something that makes me over think. As you say looking for a reason for everything little deviation, that would have happened and corrected itself without me knowing, pre Libre. More recently I've relaxed a bit (hopefully) and just think there are some things that I just can't explain, so I wait a bit, deal with it if necessary and move on....otherwise it takes over. (Not massive, sustained highs/lows obviously). ...and I'd have no time to worry about, decorating, gardening, cooking, fitness etc etc.🙂

 

[Matt Cycle]

Well done Flower on the 44 🙂 and yes although I try to think c'est la vie I still get a bit anxious over results and think I could and should have done better. I think one of the problems is we're swamped with data now from CGMs/Libres/more blood testing - there's no hiding results. In the past it was probably a case of ignorance is bliss but now the numbers are in your face 24 hours a day. Don't get me wrong, I prefer it now than before but it definitely adds pressure. Anything in the 40's though and I'm fairly happy. 😉 With the Libre you can see spikes into the teens/twenties or hypos but does it always make sense why it happened - nah, it's Type 1.

The other issue I have is comparing myself with others. I think this is just human nature. As much as I like coming on the forum I look at what other people are doing and think I must terrible at managing my diabetes. However, it's not comparing like with like someone who's had it 30/40 years and someone who's had it 5 minutes, type 1/type 2, different medication etc. As many have already said we can only try and do our best. 🙂

 

[Flower]

Thanks again, interesting to read.🙂 I was thinking today what I would actually be happy with - not having diabetes. I know I should know better than that, I was due to be cured in 1988 ! I'm trying to be someone with a fully functioning pancreas which is never going to happen.🙄 I should be pleased with my results and deep down beneath all the other stuff I know they are good because I was told so but the gremlins are there niggling away ..

 

[New-journey]

I'm really interested to know how others feel about their control.

I had my pump clinic today and all my results were good, HbA1c 44 and a really enjoyable discussion and some laughs with the consultant, DSN and dietitian about the joys/challenges of diabetes 😉😱

I worried myself sick before this appointment even though I have round the clock data from my pump and cgm so knew my estimated HbA1c. I just don't ever think "well done Flower, you've done pretty well all things considered". I always think I am making a right mess of it all and need to try harder - regardless of the data at my disposal.

Do you give yourself a hard time despite your best efforts and results ? Does that 'must try harder' feeling just go with the monotony of being diabetic and not having the luxury of a day off?

First massive congratulations on your latest hba1c result which is brilliant! I am wondering if you notice what you could say to yourself, the "well done Flower" does that mean you can say it and your are changing your internal gremlin? I think being aware of our internal voice is a huge part of changing it. Many people aren't aware there is a choice with their internal thoughts.

Secondly me, I have been supporting people being kinder to themselves for years and always say I am in recovery from beating myself up. Yet the diagnose set me back and every number I got I would give myself a negative message, my inner critic was having freedom to be active and it requires loads of energy to change it. I am now two years later doing bit better though still more work to do before I can tell myself every day how well I am doing.
I do believe we can tell ourselves how well we are doing and reading this inspiring thread, I am going to commit to saying it at least ten times a day! Just repeating it, even if we don't believe it, is a start in changing our gremlin. Anyone care to join me? 🙂

 

[Bloden]

Well done, Flower, on your fab A1c.😛😛

 

[SB2015]

I am the same, if my BG reading isn’t what I expected, same food same ratio same units injected. I then over analyse it all, even if my readings are in range. “ Were my hands dirty?” “ Is my insulin working?” “ I didn’t walk far enough” etc etc. My HbA1C is 49, not too shabby I know and the DSN is always pleased and tells me she wishes all her patients were as diligent as me. But I suppose it’s like everything in life, we always want to do better, be a better parent, partner, gardener, cook, DIYer and will always deride ourselves. It’s human nature after all.

This has been such a good thread to read.
We are all diong or ur best day to day, and then D mucks us around.
If only it were simple Maths. I would find it a lot more straight forward then.

 

[SB2015]

First massive congratulations on your latest hba1c result which is brilliant! I am wondering if you notice what you could say to yourself, the "well done Flower" does that mean you can say it and your are changing your internal gremlin? I think being aware of our internal voice is a huge part of changing it. Many people aren't aware there is a choice with their internal thoughts.

Secondly me, I have been supporting people being kinder to themselves for years and always say I am in recovery from beating myself up. Yet the diagnose set me back and every number I got I would give myself a negative message, my inner critic was having freedom to be active and it requires loads of energy to change it. I am now two years later doing bit better though still more work to do before I can tell myself every day how well I am doing.
I do believe we can tell ourselves how well we are doing and reading this inspiring thread, I am going to commit to saying it at least ten times a day! Just repeating it, even if we don't believe it, is a start in changing our gremlin. Anyone care to join me? 🙂

It would be good if we could be nice to ourselves more often.
I find others are a lot happier with what I achieve than I am.
Perhaps I need to learn to listen to them more.

I also find that I find thee feedback I get from my consultant is very important to me, which I think it shouldn’t be, as it is my own responsibility and I am living with it day by day, so I should be more focused on how I feel about how I am diong ratyer than how others feel. Hmm. Complicated stuff.

 

[New-journey]

It would be good if we could be nice to ourselves more often.
I find others are a lot happier with what I achieve than I am.
Perhaps I need to learn to listen to them more.

I also find that I find thee feedback I get from my consultant is very important to me, which I think it shouldn’t be, as it is my own responsibility and I am living with it day by day, so I should be more focused on how I feel about how I am diong ratyer than how others feel. Hmm. Complicated stuff.

Totally agree with you, it is complicated as you say and maybe trying to be positive here, it can help us grow extra inner strength!

 

[Northerner]

I think you do a cracking job managing your diabetes @Flower 🙂 I often think our doubts creep in because we fear censure from the HCPs when those reviews come around - whether we deserve it or not. I can show HCPs my Libre stats that show I'm 90% 'in range', but some of them will still quibble and say your HbA1c is 'too low', with the heavy implication that you are not managing things very well! 🙄 Still makes my heart sink to hear it, as though they could 'do better' in the circumstances, which I very much doubt. I always take time to try and explain the problems that need to be overcome to achieve anywhere near good control (as I did with the poor nurse the other day - she admitted to me that, as she wasn't a diabetes specialist, she was actually a little scared herself of saying anything about my numbers! 😱).

I have the attitude now that I have been managing this 24/7 for a decade, so no-one is a better expert on my diabetes than me. Of course, if there are problems I can't fathom then I will turn to the 'experts' for explanations and solutions, although 9 times out of 10 I'll find those experts here, on the forum, and not in a clinic! 🙂

 

[mikeyB]

I’m going to die wondering if I could have done better, but not for a long time yet, and for sure not from diabetes. My attitude is if I can do 22 years with no complications, I’m doing something right. And of course, there are folk on this forum who have clocked up a lot more years who can say the same.

In truth, I regard diabetes as a way of life, not a disease. It’s the least of my worries, not that I worry much anyway, it’s such a futile emotion.🙂

 

[Radders]

First massive congratulations on your latest hba1c result which is brilliant! I am wondering if you notice what you could say to yourself, the "well done Flower" does that mean you can say it and your are changing your internal gremlin? I think being aware of our internal voice is a huge part of changing it. Many people aren't aware there is a choice with their internal thoughts.

...I am going to commit to saying it at least ten times a day! Just repeating it, even if we don't believe it, is a start in changing our gremlin. Anyone care to join me? 🙂

You’re so right. Took me a long time to learn this!