Difficult decision

[corriefan]

Last year I got in a bit of trouble and ended up on a IVA debt programme.ny mum keeps asking me for money and I'm so torn what to do .she texted the other day saying unexpected bill

 

[dannybgoode]

It is a hard one but, regardless of how close you are to family you simply cannot get into debt again.

Also, have you spoken to your mum. These kind of texts are classic scams also.

 

[gail2]

stick to your guns and say no, its up to you if you tell her why

 

[Lucyr]

Don’t believe any texts asking for money. Phone your mum and speak to her directly to check if the text came from her or not and tell her that you can’t loan money due to your previous debt

 

[ew7k]

This must be tricky for you but please don't 'lend' her any money. Perhaps you could suggest she rings or emails whoever the bill is from to negotiate paying over time, or offer to help her draft one.. In my experience some people see a refusal as a personal snub (especially in a family) so helping with alternatives helps keep relationships positives.

 

[Leadinglights]

It really is not fair of her to be asking you given the position you were in yourself. Perhaps you could help her by looking to see where she could make some savings on her expenses so she can pay the bill herself. Otherwise it will likely happen on a regular basis.

 

[Inka]

Just say you don’t have any spare money and suggest she contacts the company direct to arrange a payment plan, or contacts one of the charities such as StepChange

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Sorry to hear about the difficult position you have found yourself in financially, but well done in setting up the IVA and trying to tackle it.

Do check with your Mum directly if the requests are coming by text. Scammers are very devious and my Mum was almost hoodwinked out of money by someone pretending to be me. 😱

I think you have to be completely honest with your Mum, and say you would love to help, but simply aren’y in a position to do so, because of the terms of your existing arrangement.

 

[corriefan]

Thank you so much for all your replies everyone will try to respond individually too . sadly it's not a scam text ,she said she needs a tenner by Sunday for a direct debit agree her scrounger partner needs to work thank you everyone for all your support xx

 

[nonethewiser]

There's a scam whereby you get a text supposedly from a son/daughter or other family member saying they've lost their phone so using a friends phone to text you, they then ask that you send money over to them to help them out.

It's doing the rounds as wife got this text last week so be aware.

 

[corriefan]

Thank you for your reply definitely my mum sadly she always asks for money and asked my dad too by phone and her number

 

[corriefan]

It really is not fair of her to be asking you given the position you were in yourself. Perhaps you could help her by looking to see where she could make some savings on her expenses so she can pay the bill herself. Otherwise it will likely happen on a regular basis.

Yes true she has got a scrounger partner who doesn't work and isn't looking for work she pays for him xx

 

[trophywench]

It is NOT your responsibility to subsidise any family members own choices. Oh yes it will no doubt cause them to argue. We've had to walk away from certain members of our family, some more than once.

 

[corriefan]

It is NOT your responsibility to subsidise any family members own choices. Oh yes it will no doubt cause them to argue. We've had to walk away from certain members of our family, some more than once.

Thank you your right xx