AlisonM
Much missed Moderator
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1.5 LADA
Actually, now I think about that title would be a good name for us. Come join the Diatribe! But on with the rant:
Since my diagnosis, there have been times when I was accused of trying to control things too tightly (not in here, I hasten to add), not without some justification, but what would they have me do? The meds weren't working, so the only tools I had were a fairly strict diet and exercise. I'm convinced that the only reason I've made it this far without serious additional problems like neuropathy or retinopathy, aside from my constant nagging at the surgery and clinic, is that 'military' discipline I applied to this nightmare process. I've been so jealous of those of you here, whatever type you are, who seem to keep those pesky numbers in the zone with disheartening ease. Disheartening for me that is. I do realise it's not that easy for any of us and that we all have hard times but one gets so self-centred in the battle for life. I've had a sort of tunnel vision with everything being filtered through the "I'm an uncontrolled diabetic" lenses. Having to fight the medical profession every step of the way hasn't helped me feel at all positive either.
It's incredible how my attitude to life and diabetes has changed in these last three short weeks. Even the little dose of insulin I'm on (14 units at night) is making a HUGE difference. I can see now that it is possible, even for me, to get control and have a decent life. I'd never have gone on that sailing holiday if it had been offered me 2 years ago, I'd have been too worried about something going wrong. Now none of you have actually met me yet so you wouldn't know that is not like me at all. This is the woman who went haring off too South Korea on two days notice to work when the boss called for help. This is the girl who did VSO (Voluntary Service Overseas) in Kenya and Bangladesh at 17. The one who has climbed all but one of the Munros. The nutcase who almost got brained by a seal hunter trying keep a baby seal from becoming a coat. I'm not listing these things to boast, but to highlight how narrow my view of life had become. Since the day I was diagnosed there has only been room in my head for one thing, my health.
The point of all this is to say I've got the old me back. I've rediscovered my old sense of adventure and my desire to live life to the full and not let anything hold me back. What I want to say to everyone else who's struggling like me is: keep fighting, keep nagging and don't let diabetes rule you.
Oh, and once again, my heartfelt thanks to the denizens of this place for your unstinting support and encouragement. Finding the forum may well have been the luckiest day of my life.
Since my diagnosis, there have been times when I was accused of trying to control things too tightly (not in here, I hasten to add), not without some justification, but what would they have me do? The meds weren't working, so the only tools I had were a fairly strict diet and exercise. I'm convinced that the only reason I've made it this far without serious additional problems like neuropathy or retinopathy, aside from my constant nagging at the surgery and clinic, is that 'military' discipline I applied to this nightmare process. I've been so jealous of those of you here, whatever type you are, who seem to keep those pesky numbers in the zone with disheartening ease. Disheartening for me that is. I do realise it's not that easy for any of us and that we all have hard times but one gets so self-centred in the battle for life. I've had a sort of tunnel vision with everything being filtered through the "I'm an uncontrolled diabetic" lenses. Having to fight the medical profession every step of the way hasn't helped me feel at all positive either.
It's incredible how my attitude to life and diabetes has changed in these last three short weeks. Even the little dose of insulin I'm on (14 units at night) is making a HUGE difference. I can see now that it is possible, even for me, to get control and have a decent life. I'd never have gone on that sailing holiday if it had been offered me 2 years ago, I'd have been too worried about something going wrong. Now none of you have actually met me yet so you wouldn't know that is not like me at all. This is the woman who went haring off too South Korea on two days notice to work when the boss called for help. This is the girl who did VSO (Voluntary Service Overseas) in Kenya and Bangladesh at 17. The one who has climbed all but one of the Munros. The nutcase who almost got brained by a seal hunter trying keep a baby seal from becoming a coat. I'm not listing these things to boast, but to highlight how narrow my view of life had become. Since the day I was diagnosed there has only been room in my head for one thing, my health.
The point of all this is to say I've got the old me back. I've rediscovered my old sense of adventure and my desire to live life to the full and not let anything hold me back. What I want to say to everyone else who's struggling like me is: keep fighting, keep nagging and don't let diabetes rule you.
Oh, and once again, my heartfelt thanks to the denizens of this place for your unstinting support and encouragement. Finding the forum may well have been the luckiest day of my life.
