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Depression

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
LittleMagik

LittleMagik

Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
First of all i'd like to apologise if i have posted this in the wrong area


As some of you may know i have a 19 month old son who was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 4 months ago.

At first i was so strong i felt like i can handle it all, but now, i feel so depressed, i started feeling like this 2 months ago so i went to the doctors and they just pointed at me and said i'm just depressed about my weight, which it did really upset me i mean i'm know i'm a big girl but i didn't want to hear it from a "professional", anyway i just left it at that and didn't bother going doctors about me being down.

But now i just feel so upset inside and i know it's not my weight that is the problem it's the stress from coping with my sons diabetes.
Some of my friends and family are telling me how strong i am and how they wouldn't be able to cope if there child was diabetic, but the secret is i'm not as strong as they think i am.

If my sons bg is 2 and then after a while it goes to 3 i cry so much, i'm blaming myself for him being diabetic and i'm not even diabetic, every day i wish it was me and not him, it's so upsetting seeing someone so young going through this, i'm trying to be so strong for my son but i feel like i'm just collapsing inside.

I don't want to talk to the diabetic nurse about it because to be honest i find her quite useless and i don't want to go to the doctors about it because they'll just point at my weight again.
 
I'm sorry you feel so down about things. You have a lot to cope with. It is not your fault you little boy has diabetes. We all feel guilty when our children get anything, but it often can't be avoided.

These days I think the doctors favourite mantra is loose weight loose weight. Is there anyone else attached to the doctors surgery you could talk to who might be more helpful? Perhaps the health visitor may be able to help?

I hope telling us has helped you and you feel better. I'm sure plenty of parents of diabetic children here will ba able to help you too.
 
Hi Magik

If your son's blood glucose is 2mmol/l, and then a while later it is 3, then it is heading in the right direction - hopefully because you've given him something sugary? So, if that's the case, you're doing the right thing. As he grows up, he will be able to express when he's feeling "not right" more easily, so you can take action earlier.

Regarding your weight - did your GP suggest anything that could help eg local exercise opportunities for parents with children, health walks, subsidised gym or swimming, slimming clubs etc? If not, perhaps nothing is available in your area or you don't fit the criteria. However, you are very welcome to join The Weight Loss Group on this messageboard. Regarding your depression - did your GP suggest counselling?

I'd urge you not to give up on your GP and diabetes specialist nurse, however unhelpful they appear, as you need to keep them on your side, and they can be the gatekeepers to some services, such as exercise schemes and counselling.
 
Medical people around here are pretty useless i think i need to move to a different area.
Our heath visitor has retired and the temporary woman they have put us with barely comes to check up on us i don't have a number for her.
 
The way you are feeling is normal - don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You have had major adjustments to make and everyday there is a reminded of how much you life has changed.

Some clinics have help lines for counselling services for diabetics and their families. You could maybe try that.

I don't know if you have signed up at children with diabetes - but you are likely to find other parents there who are going through or have been through what you are now.

http://www.childrenwithdiabetesuk.org/

Think again about going back to your Drs. Is there another GP who you could talk to? If not then print off your post above and hand it to him/her.

Keep posting and if you have any specific problems with your little ones just ask and someone will try and help.

{{{{HUGS}}}}
 
My GP hasn't told me anything about gyms i can join up to, i had started exercising, going for jogs and eating the right things but it didn't do anything for how i feel .

All my GP suggested was to do the things above he didn't mention about any counselling :(
 
Thank you x
 
OK, easier to make suggestions with more facts.

It's definitely worth telling your GP what you are doing to keep yourself fit and active and try to control your weight, that it's not enough and you need help, so could s/he refer you to a fitness scheme weight loss club etc.

Also tell your GP and / or DSN how you're feeling and that you'd like to be refered to counselling - either may be able to refer you, DSN bcause of your child, GP because of both you and your child.

They might not be able to help, of course, if local services budgets don't exist - but The Weight Loss Group section here is willing and able to help 🙂
 
Can't offer any practical help that hasn't already been offered by others on here more sensible than me - so just sending you some (((hugs))) and say keep trying to get help however reluctant the doctor might be - and if they want to think it is your weight that you are down about - let them if it means you get help Hope you do soon x
 
Thank you both x
 
It is still very early days for your son, it takes time to work through the grief, do you have any support at home or anyone who you trust enough to leave him with just for an hour or two?? I remember friends telling me how strong I was when actually I was feeling like I was losing it inside. People just try to help and so often say the wrong thing, I think it is impossible to imagine what it feels like unless you have been through it. Do you have a choice of GPs at your surgery?? You might find a different GP is much more sympathetic. xx
 
elaine1969, I live with his dad but it's rare that i'm allowed to go out for an hour or so by myself.
All the GPs and the surgery are near enough the same, there was one but he left the surgery :(
 
You are dealing with so much, I'd be a complete mess. I have a little boy who is 5 and my little girl is 2 and I cannot imagine me and them dealing with this horrible disease if it was one of them who had it.

How about before going to the GP again, you write everything down? In a letter if you have to, if you don't think you will be able to say it to them. It's sometimes much easier and they might realise more how you are feeling.

You need support with this, and if you need anti depressants then that's ok too - they will start to make you feel better and in turn you may find things easier to cope with.

Hugs xx
 
Hi...

I just wanted to add my moral support! And a huge ((((Hug!)))). I have small kids & can't imagine how tough it must be dealing with a child diagnosed so young. The CWD forum sounds like a brilliant place to get support & advice, especially if your docs are being as useless as they sound...the other thing I'd suggest is the Diabetes UK Careline - 0845 120 2960 - they are there for 'support & information' - maybe having a sob down the phone to an understanding ear would be at least a short term help (I've been there!!😱 ). I would definitely go back to your GP though - maybe look up the Edinburgh scale test for depression online first & print the results to take in with you - they should never, ever fob you off the way it sounds like they did! If they continue to be unsupportive give your local PALS/PILS (Patient Advice/Information Liaison Service) a call - I understand they can act as advocates for you with your doc if need be.

Whatever you do, please know that you are not alone - this is a wonderful forum for support as & when you need it!

Take care,

Twitchy xxx
 
So sorry you're feeling down. I can't give you any more advice already given, so just a big hug for you.
4 months is not a long time. You're still grieving. Your GP is very insensitive commenting on your weight being the cause of your "depression". Your GP should be listening to what you're saying. What margie said is a good idea, if you can't tell the GP what's bothering you, write it down and give it to him to read.
Don't give up fighting for help. We'll try our best on here.

lots of hugs
 
How dare your GP dismiss your concerns as being 'down' about your weight! How would he like to try and cope with a toddler who has just been diagnosed Type 1 with no better support than he is giving you?

I'm just looking at your Avatar, and you are a beautiful young lady with a gorgeous little boy. Go back to your GP with a list of how you are feeling. If he doesn't listen, or if you can't face his ignorance again, call the helpline and see what advice they can give you. With the right help, and with time it will get easier. Sending big hugs to you both. XXXXX
 
Hon u are doing an amazing job as a mum and it's only cos u care so much you are beating up on yourself like this. If you are really really depressed then you will be in a viscious circle of comfort eating to cope with your emotions... You must see your gp it might be you need some medication for a while to get u back on track having a toddler is tough enough without one who has diabetes. Tomorrow is the first day of your new life, get yourself outside and when little guy is tired go for a good walk with him in the pram, try and get out little and often and build it up... You can do this, a stronger fitter you will mean u can keep up with your little boy... It will be tough at times... Then take the dietary advice us t2s have to follow because it works!!! Eating more protein, less carbs and build up that exercise!, start tomorrow and by Xmas you will feel so much better..... It's so so hard but every time u want to hit the biccies/ crisps etc remember you don't have this disease but your long term health is so important for you son...
Big hug x
 
If u get no where with ur gp ask to see another at the practise x
 
LittleMagik said:
First of all i'd like to apologise if i have posted this in the wrong area


As some of you may know i have a 19 month old son who was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 4 months ago.

At first i was so strong i felt like i can handle it all, but now, i feel so depressed, i started feeling like this 2 months ago so i went to the doctors and they just pointed at me and said i'm just depressed about my weight, which it did really upset me i mean i'm know i'm a big girl but i didn't want to hear it from a "professional", anyway i just left it at that and didn't bother going doctors about me being down.

But now i just feel so upset inside and i know it's not my weight that is the problem it's the stress from coping with my sons diabetes.
Some of my friends and family are telling me how strong i am and how they wouldn't be able to cope if there child was diabetic, but the secret is i'm not as strong as they think i am.

If my sons bg is 2 and then after a while it goes to 3 i cry so much, i'm blaming myself for him being diabetic and i'm not even diabetic, every day i wish it was me and not him, it's so upsetting seeing someone so young going through this, i'm trying to be so strong for my son but i feel like i'm just collapsing inside.

I don't want to talk to the diabetic nurse about it because to be honest i find her quite useless and i don't want to go to the doctors about it because they'll just point at my weight again.
Click to expand...

You're not alone, believe me. My 6yr old daughter was diagnosed just over 4 weeks ago. At first everybody said "give it a few weeks and it will be normal" or "in a way its good that she got it so young, because she will grow up with it" or my mums favourite "You are doing SOOOO WELL". What nobody realised was that I would cry myself to sleep every night whilst putting on my got to deal with this face in the morning. Nobody really understands how it feels and although my daughter is healthy, funny and the most amazing thing I've done in my life, the guilt is overwhelming. The practical side of me knows that its not my fault that she has this but the mummy side of me wants to give it a magic rub and make it go away. Alas this will never happen.

I'm lucky that my work have been offered some external counselling for staff and have come to the decision that its what I need so have put my name down. Will let you know how it goes.. hang on in there..
 
Hi LittleMagik & NatashaA - how are you both doing? Just wanted to say I hope this week is going well for you both & that you're doing ok. xx 🙂
 
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