Depression V Diabetic control

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Hazel

Hazel

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Hi, I was deeply moved by the thread opened earlier by Brightontez.

I wanted to offer my current situation. I have suffered from clinical depression for over 40 years. Some times better than others. My GP says it is kind of kind being an alchoholic, in that you learn to live with it, but occasionally you succumbe to it and and are required to take medication.

Since my Mam died I have not really managed to shake this current bout of depression, during which time I have been unemployed for a year now, coped with a number of bereavements and the final straw has been starting on insulin 10 months ago, I am T2. I threw all my efforts into getting on with the insulin injections and getting my blood glusose down. This I did fairly successfully. but my depression plumeted. From a dosage of 20g of Citalopram, now I am up to 60g daily.

My problem is I have focussed on lifting myself out of the gloom, which most people will agree, not easy at Christmas. The problem now is I haven't been taking my diabetic meds REGULARLY, which I know will result in diabetic issues.

I feel as though I can't manage to get the the 2 controlled at the same time, it seems to take all my time coping with just the one condidtion.

I was told that some people are pre-disposed to suffereing from depression. I manage, just, but this year has been just about as bad as it has ever been.
I feel really alone, whether I am on my own, with my Dad, friends, or a room full of people. Since the increase in meds I am beginnig to feel emotionally better.

My commitment to myself is come the New Year, I need to pay more attention to the Diabetes, not to get depressed if the levels are bad and take time to get back to normal and finally, to stop eating chocolate, as I have been eating for Britian.

To Brightontez. I hope to you will feel better soon and to EVERYONE, I wsh you all a healthy and peaceful 2010

Love always

Hazel
 
hi Hazel thank you for sharing what a lovely but very thought provoking post , I think the depression is such a big part of so many of our lives and of course the dreaded news your diabetic only adds to it , with my situation i lost my mum and told everyoner i was fine it would bubble to the surface now and again and i would go ballistic then my other halves mum mentioned councelling i said nope not for me i dont want to talk about it , but i found that after alot of kicks up the butt it was the best thing i ever did it helped me immensly the meds at first did the trick but they only toook the edge of things for a short while they certainly did not bring my mum back so why the hell should i take them,then i would go to the other extreme and take to many all this messed me up and i was back to square one, anyways to cut a long story short the DX in Feb put me right off my stride and when i saw the doc he said pills pills pills , its all to easy to dole out pills but the key is to open up, i like you for along time stopped taking my meds and all it did was make it worse so i woke up and sorted that one out, but now with other family things going on around me im feeling the need to binge it is very frustrating and i wish everyone here who suffers a very happy 2010 and theres nothing stopping us as a group who suffer being there for one another in the bad times xx

xxx
 
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BIG HUG TO YOU HAZEL....cant really say anymore really that i didnt say with tez but thank you for being able to tell us all that, as i know there are many of us out there and sometimes by just realising your not alone it helps.
After 15 years of depression i just accept its just something I have, so must admit am concentrating on being a good Diabetic as much as i can, as i can do something about that. Depression will always be there but i just manage it x
 
Hazel, thank you so much for your openness - it is so very helpful to realise how others struggle with the combined whammies of depression and diabetes.

Like you, I find I can cope with one or the other reasonably but when I have issues with both then grrrrrrrrr:(😡. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that a good diet, plenty of exercise, reducing any stress and sleeping well do help both problems I really want to curl up in a corner and do nothing except eat - at the moment I'm coping but my heart goes out to you as you cope with bereavement too
 
Hazel, thank you for sharing with us. I think it took a lot of courage and I hope it has helped.

I wish you all the best for the New Year and hope you feel better.
 
Thanks for your kind comments

I am feeling better, as for a few months I did indeed curl up and really just let things go. I only got myself together if I had to go out, and I am sure you will understand when I say - you become good at acting. No-one knew how bad I had let things/myself go.

Not having a job meant no money was coming in, but recently I received a lump sum from my pension, so put the money (not that much) into the house.
Recarpted throughout. a new bed, new bedroom furniture. a new TV, a settee, and an upgraded central heating system. I am now taking better care of my home and only now realise how I had thinks go.

Depression sucks, but like Diabetes, only you yourself can fix it, albeit with medical help. Keeping a diary helps..........finally realising you have a lot to be thankful for..........and one day it all comes together and you start feeling better.

Knowing that I am not alone in feeling like this helps - with contined help and support from the forum, for the first time in ages, I am beginning to look forward to the future.

Hazel
 
It's been really interesting & thought provoking reading this & Brighton Tez's threads... I was diagnosed with severe post natal depression (PND) when M was around 5 months old. In hindsight, I think I'd had depression a lot earlier than that. My mum died of cancer when I was 13, there were a lot of really nasty family issues, etc etc...long story short I think I was probably clinically depressed most of my teen years / early 20s but nobody spotted it & I didn't want to admit to anything being wrong - stoicism was the order of the day, a la Bronte stylee etc (darn you, penguin classics! 🙄 ...sorry - have to be a bit flippant). Reading back over a few rare diary entries from back then it's obvious that at best I was extremely miserable for a very long time...anyway, things settled but it was the advent of my son and the very real feelings of missing my own mother terribly that brought it all to the fore again, via pnd.

It presented as extreme anxiety about M's welfare, well being, etc & if anything was more a case of being too clingy / over-bonded with him - I was a worn out, miserable nervous wreck. The common misperception of someone with pnd being some kind of heartless mother who doesn't care for her baby also really hurt & added to the feeling of stigma. It was an awful, awful time. In the end I caved in & admitted I needed help - I was given citalopram (40mg? - not sure of units!) and counselling. I'm also extremely blessed in that I have a wonderful, caring, patient husband who was there when I was at my weakest, most miserable point & still cared for me.

Eventually things improved, the tables took effect & I first felt just numb (frankly a relief), then slowly started feeling better. It was a long road though and it took a lot longer for my BGs to get back under proper control. I strongly suspect there is a chicken & egg thing with diabetes control & depression - when one gets worse it tends to negatively affect the other, which in turn makes it harder to change things for the better. It's really hard to improve your diabetes control when you don't feel like anything to do with yourself has any worth or point...and when my sugar levels are bad I feel down, even when not 'officially" depressed. It's really hard to be bothered to eat properly, or even get out of the house.

I am currently expecting baby number 2, and am really nervous about getting pnd again. Hopefully this time I'll have the awareness of how I feel earlier & get help sooner if it happens again. I also hope that first time round I laid a lot of ghosts to rest. Either way, the experience has taught me a hell of a lot - I will never again expect people to just "pick themselves up", or just "get on with it"...I know it's not that simple.

Best wishes to everyone out there who struggles with mood, depression & diabetes - wishing you a peaceful, content & happy 2010.

Twitchy x
 
To Hazel and others I hope you manage to control things and life gets better in twenty ten

I find your second paragraph very thought provoking indeed, hope you get back to the good/better times soon.

Rossi🙂
 
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