Depression and Diabetes - Advice Please!

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SazCameron

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Hi there! I'm hoping to get some advice from you all!

My boyfriend was diagnosed type1 a couple of months ago (after inititally being told he was type2 - a story for another day!) however he has been coping less and less as time goes by, to the point where he is now very depressed and even saying things about how he wishes he weren't alive etc.

I know he needs some kind of help, but being a very stubbon man (is there any other kind 😉) who doesn't want to talk about it he won't get proper help.

Did any of you have this? Is there anything I can do to help him? what helped you through it?

I would so appreciate any help you can give!!! Thankyou!
 
SazCameron said:
Hi there! I'm hoping to get some advice from you all!

My boyfriend was diagnosed type1 a couple of months ago (after inititally being told he was type2 - a story for another day!) however he has been coping less and less as time goes by, to the point where he is now very depressed and even saying things about how he wishes he weren't alive etc.

I know he needs some kind of help, but being a very stubbon man (is there any other kind 😉) who doesn't want to talk about it he won't get proper help.

Did any of you have this? Is there anything I can do to help him? what helped you through it?

I would so appreciate any help you can give!!! Thankyou!
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hi sorry to hear things are bad at the moment, i was also told i was type 2 to later be told i was type 1. It is quite common as you will find out! I went through a bad bout of depression and didnt see much point of carrying on, all i can say is that it will take a little time for him to come to terms with whats happening to him but to take one day at a time. It takes a while to realise that you can still do all things in life that you want to do and not to let diabetes change that. he will probably go through lots of different emotions, why me etc etc but weve all done that and still do!! remember diabetes is part of your life, is doesnt have to take over your life. i hope things get better for you both soon. p.s if he is anything like me i was scared to death about not being in control of my own body, life etc. It will get better
 
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hi not really alot i can add to what insulinaddict said really only that does your bf have a good care team ? maybe an idea would be to go to your local library and get out some books if he wont talk then maybe if he reads a few books it may help him and yourself understand abit better.You make sure somebody is also looking after you it must be very hard seeing somebody you love and care about like this , I also think being told your t2 and then being told your t1 must be a head spinner as well i would not be to happy at all , anyway SazCameron anytime you wanna scream, shout have a moan someone is always here for you on this lovely site
All the best and hope thigns become a little easier for you both
xx
 
SazCameron said:
Hi there! I'm hoping to get some advice from you all!

My boyfriend was diagnosed type1 a couple of months ago (after inititally being told he was type2 - a story for another day!) however he has been coping less and less as time goes by, to the point where he is now very depressed and even saying things about how he wishes he weren't alive etc.

I know he needs some kind of help, but being a very stubbon man (is there any other kind 😉) who doesn't want to talk about it he won't get proper help.

Did any of you have this? Is there anything I can do to help him? what helped you through it?

I would so appreciate any help you can give!!! Thankyou!
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Hi Sorry this is happening. I've heard this exact story before recently, did you post this on the DUK FB page by any chance?

Has he been to the doctors re the depression?
 
SazCameron said:
Hi there! I'm hoping to get some advice from you all!

My boyfriend was diagnosed type1 a couple of months ago (after inititally being told he was type2 - a story for another day!) however he has been coping less and less as time goes by, to the point where he is now very depressed and even saying things about how he wishes he weren't alive etc.

I know he needs some kind of help, but being a very stubbon man (is there any other kind 😉) who doesn't want to talk about it he won't get proper help.

Did any of you have this? Is there anything I can do to help him? what helped you through it?

I would so appreciate any help you can give!!! Thankyou!
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Hi Saz,
Welcome to the forum.
the depression is is part of the grieving process to start with. So give him time. Talk of other things ie the future. Also a bit underhand,please also put a call through to his diabetes team and explain whats going on. Tell them it's in confidence. There are members of the team specially train to help out in situations like this.

Also what are his blood sugars like? High numbers or swinging numbers will cause depression too. (uncontrolled)
Is he on Lantus? If so do a google search and you will find many thousands of people using it who complain of depression but are fine on other insulin's.
Chin up things do get better.
Best wishes
Sue
 
Hi there

Diabetes and depression do go hand in hand for a lot of people at some point. I too was initially diagnosed incorrectly as type 2, I was 21. I definately found it very hard to deal withat first which I think is completely natural. Highs and lows can also greatly affect your moods so that may also be an issue. I think medical teams are far better these days at recognizing the psychological implications of conditions so I would encourage him to tell his team how he feels, far easier said than done of course! I've always found that knowledge has been key to me getting my diabetes under control, the overwhelming feeling when I was diagnosed was not having any control, like I was losing it to not only the diabetes but also the nurses, family etc all of whom wanted to help. I'd recommend getting a good book about diabetes which could allow him to take some control and power over the condition, there are some good suggestions on the books board. I'm currently reading Diabetes for Dummies which I've found to be good so far, I'll put a review up when I'm done!
 
When I was diagnosed Type 1 aged 30 years in 1996, I didn't have a partner, and the diagnosis meant the end of most jobs I had done in the past (TA, SCUBA diving, outdoor activities instructing, driving minibuses etc) and frankly, life didn't seem worth living. After a year overseas, I was living with parents, with no friends nearer than 100 miles, no email or mobile phone in those days, hospital seemd to have no clue about how to help a newly diagnosed young adult etc.
What helped - a couple of friends inviting me away for weekends backpacking etc; seeing a younger friend by chance at an expedition reunion, who mentioned a new option starting in an MSc course he'd done - I applied, got a scholarship (because it was a new option), moved away from parents, and had a good year in 2 cities, meeting a couple of encouraging GPs and a retired diabetes specialist along the way, and meeting my partner soon after graduating (10 years ago now and still together). I guess the key point is to remember what's important in your life, and keep going. It gets easier, but employment has continued to be a difficult issue for me, although it depends a lot on your field(s) of work - I was particularly unlucky, although at least I did those jobs earlier.
 
Thankyou all!! That actually helps alot! ... I love this site!!

I'm going to work on getting him to go to the doctor, and maybe put in a call to his care team if it doesn't get better!

Being misdiagnosed initially seems alot more common than I thought! His doctors treated him like he was something of a rarity (and not in the good way!)

Thankyou!🙂
 
Some diabetic teams have a psychologist as part of the team who can offer specific support as they deal with people with diabetes. Might be worth asking if your boyfreinds team has one.

It's good to hear that he has your support. would he consider coming on here?
 
With a new diagnosis, its always very difficult and im sure all of us have gone through some sort of depression! I know i did for a fair few months and i still get my down days after quite a few years but it does get better i promise!
 
Again, not much to add other than to reassure you (if that's the righ thing to say!) that it is part of the grieving process as Type One Sue said. Although how big or how small a part will depend on how it is dealt with - I would agree with getting in touch with the care team. It's very natural to go through the anger and the denial but it will get better. At least being angry means, to a certain extent, that your boyfriend is coming to terms with the condition. Also the link between high blood sugars and feeling down is a strong one (although this is a hard cycle to break as feeling down can lead to an apathy towards keeping sugar levels controlled) but keeping in close contact with his diabetic care team will help to not get too despondent over higher readings. I hope it gets better for you both soon. It's nice that he has someone that cares so much about him and his diabetes!
 
SazCameron said:
Adrienne, yea I did, is that cheating? I'm new to forum-world, and I didn't know which one to choose!
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Hiya

No not cheating at all. I just read it and thought 'I know this story' and tried to remember. I hope your boyfriend gets the help he needs and I hope you are ok too. It must be hard for you as well.
 
Ask at the hospital for a diabetes psychologist - I was referred recently, even though had type 1 for 8 years - it has really helped to put things in perspective, and to stop blaming yourself. Lol
 
casper, i have a appt with my diabetes nurse at hospital fri, i still havent come to terms with it although in the past i lie to them just so they stay off my back but i think now is time tobite the bullet, does the pyscholigst *spelt super wrong, sorry* actually work??!

im a bit sceptical about counselling etc, but im glad theres guys out there that are feeling the same as me

hope it all works out for all those who suffer with dealin with diabetes

xxxx
 
i had sort of the same problem when i was diagnosed saz. i was in the army and had just had some good news on a promotion so i was in a great world. i the went away on exercise and came down with sweating and loss of appetite and also loads of weight dropping off. i felt like boiled tripe really. went to the med bay and they couldnt figure it out so they sent me back to the uk to the army hospital who tested me for everything. it came back as diabetes and type 1 at that. i was 20 (just comin up to my 21st) and they offered me no chance to stay in the army. came out to a family who didnt even know what diabetes was but were very supportive, however i didnt feel i had anyone and fell into a bad depression and ended up on medication for it. lucky for me i have a great partner who understands i have bad day even now and she supports me through it all. best thing i can suggest is to just let him know you are there for him and try and get as much info as you can to help him out. seems to me as diabetes and depression do go hand in hand.

anyway good luck and if you need anything just ask 🙂

mike
 
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