Death discussions 'taboo' for many in UK, survey finds

[Northerner]

Discussing dying and making end of life plans remain taboo for many people across the UK, a survey suggests.

The poll of 2,000 adults for the Dying Matters Coalition of care organisations indicates that only 21% of people have discussed their end of life wishes.

Only a third said they had written a will and just 29% had let loved ones know of their funeral wishes.

The findings are being released at the start of the Dying Matters Coalition's annual awareness initiative.

The coalition was set up by the National Council for Palliative Care in 2009.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27369382

 

[trophywench]

I don't want the bible reading from Ecclesiastes; I have made it perfectly clear that I want The Byrds 'Turn, Turn, Turn' instead ! and have told eldest stepchild if her father ATTEMPTS to have the dirge music to All Things Bright and Beautiful to smother him immediately. He insisted we had it at our wedding and I'll be damned if he'll have his way when I'm dead !

(Pete says he doesn't think we had it, we just had what the organist could play LOL - she was new and it completely threw her when I didn't want Here Comes the Bride Fair Fat and Wide. So I had to go the main library in Coventry City Centre to get a photocopy of the piano score for the piece of music I wanted and helpfully got it her on CD too so she knew what it was supposed to sound like!)

 

[Copepod]

I attended a friend's funeral last week. He'd known he had cancer for a year, and was in a hospice for the last couple of weeks of his life. He and his wife had written their wills a few years ago, including what they wanted at their funerals. Having discussed things meant his wife knew she organised what he wanted. She wrote the story of his life, which was read by a friend, one of his sons read a poem on a subject (exploration) that was very important to him, his other son didn't want to speak, his sister supplied a jar of daffodils, as he wanted money to send a young person on an arctic expedition instead of floral tributes, and service ended with singing a hymn, with no music, like on expeditions, led by a friend who's a good singer. Everyone appreciated a service that reflected his life so well.

In another context, last year I met a woman funeral director at a tree festival. She brought a woven coffin and an acorn shaped casket for ashes, plus information about woodland burials. I suggested that she exhibited at a natural history society exhibition a couple of months later. It turned out that the woman who held open door as she carried coffin into laboratory had used her firm for her father's funeral some 7 months earlier, and was so pleased that other members of society and visitors would learn about natural funeral options.

 

[AlisonM]

Dad, bless him, flatly refused to discuss his impending death and refused to make a will. As far as he was concerned, cancer bedammt, he was going to live forever. Did mum no good though, she still inherited his overdraft. Mum was exactly the opposite, she had it all worked out, written down and discussed well before the end. As for me, I have both a living will and a traditional one, I have no clue what my brother wants, he takes after dad.

 

[HERE TINTIN]

I am very much in favour of sorting it out in advance, but husband gets a bit twitchy when I bring the subject up. Though we are sorting out wills and power of attorney next time he is home, that's also very important to do.