dealing with diaetes

[grif-r]

HI

I'm hoping someone could help me or give me some advice on how to help my brother. My brother is 34 and got diabetes 5 years ago, which made him depressed & he began drinking heavy. I now believe he is now a alcoholic and becomes very aggressive & abusive etc.

He currently lives with my parents who both had a heart attack recently & my dad is awaiting for a heart bypass.

I've moved back home to look after them and we are all living in a strained
and unhealthy environment. Who do they turn to for help? The brother does
not see his problem, fails to manage his illness, lies about manageing his illness and drinks every day and causes enormous pressure on my family.

He as no where to go and will cause more stress to my family if we throw him out as he clearly needs help, we've been to the hospital and doctors and we've gotten no where.

I was just hoping someone could give me some advice on where to go and to help him come to terms with his diabetes

Please help
Rachel
where is the help? Any guidance/advice much appreciated. Thanks

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[Andy HB]

Hello Rachel,

I'm really sorry to hear of your problems. I can't advise of anything from personal experience, but do believe that your brother needs to recognise that he has a problem first before you will get anywhere.

From what you say, alcohol is a major problem and that isn't going to help the other issues that he has. Is there any way he can be persuaded to go to Alcoholics Anonymous or something similar?

Alternatively, if he can be pursuaded to sign on here (we may need to delete this thread before doing that in case he feels that you've been 'interfering'?), that might also be a step in the right direction.

Andy

 

[margie]

Try this site its designed for the friends and family of alcoholics

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

I think in some parts of the country they have support groups - they should at least be able to point you in the right direction.

Unfortunately Drs can't intervene unless someone is a clear danger to themselves or others, and then it would be using mental health legislation.

I hope you can find some help out there.

 

[Caroline]

It is difficult for all of you. The strain must be tremendous.

For families of alcoholics there are groups like Alanon for which someone has posted a link.

Get as much help for your self and your mum and dad as you can as the support will prove invaluable over time.

Unfortunately you can't help some one who doesn't want help or who wont admit they have a problem. The best you can do for now is be there abd be ready to help when your brother wants help

I know it is difficult and because he feels under stress too, it might help if you try to reassure him it is because you love him and care that you want him to get help, but let him know it has to be his choice.

 

[bex123]

hi , im sorry you are all having such a hard time , im my experiance he will have to hit rock bottom before he will ask for help , my father was an alchaholic and i have the diabeties so i have sympathy for your situation , it may be that he needs a reality check and grounding , have you sat down and talked to him frankly about the situation ( i know you said he can be aggresive so choose the moment wisley ) also get some info leaflets about the diabeties and the booze and just leave them round the house you may find that he has never come to terms with the diabeties ( i prob still havent fully after 20 years ) and is feeling verry alone and demoralised , he could be feeling the ' surrounded by people but totally alone' feeling , he does need support and the trouble with bad control and booze is that his moods will be bad because he must be feeling so ill , i hope things will change for you all , but it may take some time xx

 

[Copepod]

Grif-r - others have already covered the options for (and difficulties in) helping someone with alcoholism. It's tough, even without the complications of diabetes.
Depending on where you live, perhaps cardiac related charities could offer help for you and your parents eg British Heart Foundation, local heart charities / self help groups etc, eg if you can't drive / don't have a car, they might be able to help with lifts to / from hospital during by-pass surgery period, during rehabilitation period etc.