Cruel to be kind or just cruel...

[Newtothis]

I've had a few wobbles over the last few days; eaten things I shouldn't and generally feeling a little fed up..not with the D but with something said to me by my mother and sister...

I know they mean well but when I visited on Sunday all they went on about was my weight loss; you're too skinny; make sure you don't become anorexic; you look unwell etc, you're clothes are falling off you, and you're hair is going thin; you're hair is falling out etc...

It's really knocked my confidence and today I ate a sausage roll, double chocolate cookie; chocolates etc... to try and put a bit of weight on...but made made myself feel worse...

I've lost 3.5stone in 6 months and am currently 9.7 - I'd like to put a few pounds on but am paranoid about increasing my sugars... don't know what to do..

 

[RSVP]

Hi Amanda

Don't beat yourself up for starters. Draw a line under what you have eaten today and get back on top tomorrow.

You have done amazingly well and should be proud.

If you want to pop a bit of weight back on one of two ways springs to mind, either ease off some of your exercising or add a bit more portion wise to your meals.


Take Care

Sarah

 

[Northerner]

I would think it would be worthwhile asking for a referral to a dietician so that you could discuss your current diet (excluding the cake and sausage rolls obviously! 😉) and work out what modifications you might be able to make in order to maintain your weight at a good level without compromising your blodd sugar levels. You have the big advantage of having achieved very stable levels through your regime, so you can probably add more calories to your days before and after activity so you have sufficient fuel on board. I suspect that your body can now cope with these much better than they would originally, so again it's a case of experimenting with different things to see what has an acceptable or unacceptable impact.

Your GP/nurse should be willing to help you, given the efforts you have made and dedication you have shown and it would be a good test of the dietician's knowledge I think!

Don't be put off by careless remarks, even if they indicate concern - the kind of change you have undergone may seem more dramatic in their eyes as they have known you for so long. Where do you lie on the BMI scale now?

 

[Dizzydi]

I've had a few wobbles over the last few days; eaten things I shouldn't and generally feeling a little fed up..not with the D but with something said to me by my mother and sister...

I know they mean well but when I visited on Sunday all they went on about was my weight loss; you're too skinny; make sure you don't become anorexic; you look unwell etc, you're clothes are falling off you, and you're hair is going thin; you're hair is falling out etc...

It's really knocked my confidence and today I ate a sausage roll, double chocolate cookie; chocolates etc... to try and put a bit of weight on...but made made myself feel worse...

I've lost 3.5stone in 6 months and am currently 9.7 - I'd like to put a few pounds on but am paranoid about increasing my sugars... don't know what to do..

Newtothis don't get upset misses take on board what they have said, thank them and then tell them you are not under weight and are far from anorexic. Don't undo all your hard work. Can you see a dietician and ask advice on maintaining your weight with the right foods x

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Weight loss?? Wow well done off to the shops for some new clothes
As Alan says ask to see a dietician so you can level things out a bit better.
I know people that very low carb tend to add more fat to their diets once they have reached their ideal weight and don't want to drop any further.

 

[Newtothis]

I would think it would be worthwhile asking for a referral to a dietician so that you could discuss your current diet (excluding the cake and sausage rolls obviously! 😉) and work out what modifications you might be able to make in order to maintain your weight at a good level without compromising your blodd sugar levels. You have the big advantage of having achieved very stable levels through your regime, so you can probably add more calories to your days before and after activity so you have sufficient fuel on board. I suspect that your body can now cope with these much better than they would originally, so again it's a case of experimenting with different things to see what has an acceptable or unacceptable impact.

Your GP/nurse should be willing to help you, given the efforts you have made and dedication you have shown and it would be a good test of the dietician's knowledge I think!

Don't be put off by careless remarks, even if they indicate concern - the kind of change you have undergone may seem more dramatic in their eyes as they have known you for so long. Where do you lie on the BMI scale now?

My BMI is 23 which for my height of 5.4 is within the healthy weight..Its just knocked my confidence and I'm worried that I'm not going to stop losing the weight because I don't want to increase my food portions because I'm worried of increasing my sugars..its become a vicious circle. Until these comments I wasn't overly worried. I have worked hard modifying my diet and losing the initial weight and exercising, My hubby and son think I look fine but don't need to lose anymore just don't know what to do... Its not even as if I enjoyed the chocolate or sausage roll...grrr

 

[Pumper_Sue]

My BMI is 23 which for my height of 5.4 is within the healthy weight..Its just knocked my confidence and I'm worried that I'm not going to stop losing the weight because I don't want to increase my food portions because I'm worried of increasing my sugars..its become a vicious circle. Until these comments I wasn't overly worried. I have worked hard modifying my diet and losing the initial weight and exercising, My hubby and son think I look fine but don't need to lose anymore just don't know what to do... Its not even as if I enjoyed the chocolate or sausage roll...grrr

Perhaps there was an air of jealousy in the comments made?
You are doing fine though. So keep your chin up

 

[daisymoo84]

Hi Amanda,

I'm sorry to hear this. It can be difficult for people to accept someone they love changing. You know them well so hopefully know if they are genuinely worried or just picking.

If you're in a healthy BMI and feel good about yourself then you just need to prove to them overtime that you haven't become anorextic and that you aren't being stupid and going too far with it all. Your body will find it's natural 'happy' weight.

If you do want to increase a bit then how about including some more 'good' fats into your diet like nuts etc? Increase portion sizes too to ensure you don't ever feel hungry. Do it for yourself though so you can be happy about your body.

Don't be hard on yourself as everyone will have ups and downs on their diabetes journey 🙂

 

[cherrypie]

Hi Amanda,

You must be feeling hurt by the remarks but don't take it to heart.
Are you happy with your weight? You are the one who has to be happy. Are they a bit jealous of how well you have done? Have they got weight to lose? You often find that your nearest and dearest think it is OK to say things and they do not realise that they may be hurting your feelings. They wouldn't speak to a stranger in that way but think it is acceptable to you. They liked the old Amanda and cannot get used to the new one.
If your BMI is in the right category and you are happy then they will have to get used to it. This is the new improved you and you have made great progress in dealing with your diabetes.
As to your bad day, accept that there is nothing that you can do about it and tomorrow is another day. Try not to repeat it when you get down as you will be using food to control your feelings.
Decide what weight you want to be and then post here and we will try to give you some solutions if you want to either gain weight, stay as you are or lose a little bit more.

Take care.

Maisie.

P.S.I am as skinny as a rake and have had jibes throughout my life. I cannot repeat some of the things that people have said about me other than anorexic, snake, stick insect and the like. Once when I went for an XRay I heard the radiologist say, "What a waste of time. We could hold her up to the light and see what is going on!!! " I lost weight over Christmas, probably because I had 14 people here for three weeks and there was a lot to do. Everyone mucked in but there was still loads to deal with.

 

[Northerner]

My BMI is 23 which for my height of 5.4 is within the healthy weight..Its just knocked my confidence and I'm worried that I'm not going to stop losing the weight because I don't want to increase my food portions because I'm worried of increasing my sugars..its become a vicious circle. Until these comments I wasn't overly worried. I have worked hard modifying my diet and losing the initial weight and exercising, My hubby and son think I look fine but don't need to lose anymore just don't know what to do... Its not even as if I enjoyed the chocolate or sausage roll...grrr

It sounds like - and I have no doubt this will happen - you need to add muscle tone and mass (but not huge muscles obviously!). I used to be underweight but quite healthy when I was younger, then I took up running and my legs went from sticks to normal shape. I put on weight in the right places and for the right reasons (running also builds muscle tone in arms and torso - all that arm-swinging! 🙂) Extra protein might be something you could include as this helps building muscle, which is denser than fat. As a result of many years of running I went from 8st to 10st, but will a much better body profile (I'm not Adonis, don't get me wrong!).

As long as you fuel your body with the calories it needs and make sure you have rest and recuperation from exercise, then I think you can maintain your ideal weight and feel even fitter, stronger and healthier 🙂

 

[trophywench]

I echo what Cherrypie said - if you are happy with what you see when you stare into the mirror, then there's an end to that.

Sometimes when we lose weight if it goes of our face and boobs (like me) we can have a tendency to perhaps look a bit gaunt (I do) UNTIL our body catches up with the weight loss. And it does!

Sometimes mothers perceive that their children are 'doing their own thing' - and they don't like it. And that's the truth. Mim and sis obviously can't grasp how important this is for your health. That's a shame but not your problem.

You haven't done this to please anyone else - you did it for you, for your health.

Plus your husband and son are backing you.

Everyone else can go hang!

 

[Adrienne]

My BMI is 23 which for my height of 5.4 is within the healthy weight..Its just knocked my confidence and I'm worried that I'm not going to stop losing the weight because I don't want to increase my food portions because I'm worried of increasing my sugars..its become a vicious circle. Until these comments I wasn't overly worried. I have worked hard modifying my diet and losing the initial weight and exercising, My hubby and son think I look fine but don't need to lose anymore just don't know what to do... Its not even as if I enjoyed the chocolate or sausage roll...grrr

Oh you are perfect Amanda, just perfect. I am looking like Princess Fiona from Shrek at the moment ie very green 🙂

Your BMI is spot on for your height and weight. I would forget about weight entirely at the moment, just push it from your mind. I know that is easier said than done but do try.

I've had exactly this but about my huge frame rather than a lovely slim one ! It is all only out of love and support but actually until someone is in the same position as you they can't understand it at all so it really isn't support.

So next time you see your sister and mum and they carry on about how much you have lost (still green here) just nod, say yes and carry on but let it go over.

I had counselling by an eating disorder counsellor once and the one thing that has stuck with me is this mantra 'I am a rock not a sponge'. I used to soak up all this negative rubbish and absorb it and worry and feel guilty. Not any more. I am a rock and it goes right over my head (most of the time).

Well done on your weight loss to get to your perfect body, am very impressed and if you son and husband say you are fine, then listen to them. 🙂

 

[Copepod]

Newtothis - your BMI fine.

However, to help you counter remarks by relatives, you might find it useful to have back up from a professional. Two sources come to mind - NHS dietician, which might take a long time to get an appointment; and gym exercise advisor - obviously, you'll need to trust your judgement to find a suitable person, but a good one should be able to advice you on both diet and exercise for muscle tone.

Good luck, and don't let (some) relies get you down! 🙂

 

[imtrying]

Hi Amanda,

Just to add something to this...sometimes people who have known you for a long time are just not used to seeing you smaller, and therefore worry about you and express how thin they think you are. But mostly, it's only in relation to what size you used to be (I had this from my mum when I lost a lot of weight & she was phoning my friends asking them if I was eating....I was only just in the 'normal weight' range - at the top - but 2 or 3 dress sizes smaller than she'd been used to seeing me).

Be proud of what you've achieved. and if you are not happy and want to make changes, we're all here and there's plenty of professionals to help you, if that's what you want.

Good luck

 

[Natalie123]

Hi Amanda, Well done on the weight loss. You are a very healthy weight 🙂 Hopefully your weight will loss will decrease soon and you wont lose much more. If you are worried, try to get an appointment with a dietician. If you really are losing hair or looking unwell, it is probably a nutrient in your diet that is missing rather than the weight loss that is causing the problem.

The clothes falling off problem is easily fixed - shopping! Lovely new clothes will give you a much needed confidence boost. I wish i was only 9.7 stone then I could go back to buying size 10 clothes again 🙂

 

[slipper]

Its easy to feel a little hurt Amanda, you have made such a huge effort and the results are obviously clear for them to see, so they must be a little unused to seeing you like that. That doesn't mean you are underweight, in fact you are right in the middle of the ideal weight range I believe.

Just take it on the chin, and get on with your new life, without the sausage rolls . If you keep losing, perhaps try a slightly larger portion size of what you know is ok for you.

I too have had a few comments, "your clothes are looking a bit silly now", but I decided to wait a little longer before doing a wardrobe update, easy for me being male I know, and I secretly felt rather pleased that someone had noticed the new me.🙂 So enjoy the new you Amanda, you worked hard for it.

John

 

[Katieb]

Amanda you are, as all the others have said, doing absolutely, categorically, fantastically well and you really deserve to be congratulated for all the hard work! Sometimes, mums in particular, perceive losing weight as not being well and can't accept that sometimes we plan to do just that! I have a skinny sister and my mum has spent all of my life telling me I am 'getting a little podgy' or 'could do with losing a little weight!' As a result I haven't even told my mum about my diagnosis as can't deal with the hurtful remarks I know I'll get in relation to weight. The important thing is that you are now healthier, happier and more in control that you've ever been! You've turned your life around, have been an inspiration to us all and methinks there is a little of the green eyed monster perhaps showing through in those comments? As the saying goes 'Keep Calm and Carry On' becuause you have done, and will continue to do, just fine!! Can't add any more advice than has already been given, as it is, as always all good!! Katiexx