Crisis point

[GlucoseGary]

Hi everyone, sorry I've been away so long.

Some of you may remember that back in February I got a CPAP machine. It transformed my sleep patterns and I felt fantastic. So fantastic I stopped feeling the need to post here. So fantastic I felt I could come off my antidepressants, and so fantastic that gradually over time I stopped taking my exercise, watching my diet, checking my BGs regularly, and often even forgot to take my Metformin.

Meanwhile, life got more stressy. I'm trying to get into a new career and having to do a lot of research, job applications, interviews and volunteering. We're trying to do up our new house, a 4-month, ?100k refurbishment, and our budget's straining. And I'm trying to get my wife over the recent death of her father and the imminent death of her sister. Plus all of the usual day-to-day stuff.

This week I have a cold. I took a couple of waking BGs which were up in the high 9s (which didn't even alarm me as 8s have become commonplace when I have tested). Then tonight I had a meltdown, major carb binge (pasta sandwich 😱), row with my wife, and cried myself to sleep in the spare room. Woke at 3am with a terrible dry mouth and couldn't put it all down to the cold and the CPAP mask. Took a BG and the reading of 15.5 😱 confirmed things were out of control.

So I've taken a metformin and an antidepressant, and I'm posting this to record where I am. Then I'm going back to bed and hope I sleep. In the morning, I go back to the bottom of the hill, collect my rock, and start rolling it back up again.

I won't be past this way every day, but I'll check in from time to time, just to help keep me on the straight and narrow.

'night all.

 

[Northerner]

Hi Gary, I had wondered where you were and how you were doing - I'm sorry to hear that you let your control slip, but it's good to hear you determined to get back on track again. I will look forward to hearing of your progress back to better levels, and I hope that you are successful in your efforts to establish a new career. 🙂

 

[margie]

Gary don't beat yourself up about things - its sounds like things have been terribly tough for you. Saying that I would suggest that you speak with your GP re your antidepressants and come up with a strategy, and talk with your GP/practice nurse/DSN (whoever you normally see over your diabetes). Tell them what is happening and request a HbA1C to see how things have been over the last few months.

Do you think that you would benefit from talking to someone about all that is going on ?

Do take care of yourself - and remember admitting there is a problem is the first step in putting things right.

 

[AJLang]

Hi Gary. Life can pile on top of us and without realising it we let our health slip. I'm sorry that you're at the bottom of the hill but I hope that you find all of the strength that you need to get back to the top of it. I look forward to reading your updates.

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Good to hear from you Gary, but sorry to hear what you have been going through.

You never know how strong you can be until being strong is the only choice you have.

Hope the rock rolling goes well. Don't forget to enjoy the view once in a while on your way up.

 

[Barb3234]

Good for you Gary, getting back to looking after yourself despite all you have going on right now. I wish you all the very best and just hope you are not being too hard on yourself, you have had such a tough time and no-one can be perfect at everything all the time. You will get back on track I am sure. Meantime, I hope things eventually improve for you and your family, although it sounds as though your poor wife will be leaning on you in the near future. What a rotten time for her and of course for you too.

 

[GlucoseGary]

Thanks all for the positive vibes. The good news is I did sleep after that and feel much better this morning.
It's so easy to think you have it cracked and it just let it slowly slip away.
I just need to focus on being here for my daughter as she grows up, and one day being able to see my grandchildren, fingers crossed!

 

[Northerner]

Thanks all for the positive vibes. The good news is I did sleep after that and feel much better this morning.
It's so easy to think you have it cracked and it just let it slowly slip away.
I just need to focus on being here for my daughter as she grows up, and one day being able to see my grandchildren, fingers crossed!

Glad to hear you got some sleep Gary, and that you are feeling a lot better 🙂 Hope you have a great day!

 

[Steff]

Hi Gary,

I think we all hit those moments in life where everything seems to just pile up in one big mess and we feel like we are no longer in control its tough but it can be got through, im pleased to read your post this morning that you got some sleep and are feeling better in yourself, please keep letting us know where your at and how you feel x take care.