Crimes Against Rhymes.

[Chris Hobson]

OK, what do you think is the worst crime against rhymes in the world of popular music? Some have cited Abba for the line:
"I used to think I was sensible, that makes the truth even more incomprehensible."
I don't know what the problem is here, it rhymes, it scans and it makes perfect sense. It was also written by someone for whom English is a second language. Next one is Journey:
"Don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling."
It doesn't even rhyme but it seems to work anyway.
Mitch Benn:
"Our lead guitar now takes centre stage to play something tricky and flash. Though it's a terrible din it gives me a minute to nip off backstage for a slash."
No not flash/slash, that's not the problem, it's the bonus rhyme din it/minute that is suspect. I can't decide whether it's awful or just brilliant.
Black Sabbath:
"Generals gather in their masses, just like witches at black masses."
Can you rhyme just by using the same word twice if that word has two different meanings?
The Beach boys deserve an honorable mention for their song Fun fun fun in that they cheated just by putting the word "Now" at the end of every line.
My favourite all time bad rhyme has to be T Rex:
"Oh Deborah you always look like a zebra."
It doesn't rhyme properly, it doesn't make sense. Zebra being the only word in the dictionary that comes close to rhyming with Deborah just had to be in there I suppose. The rest of the lyrics are equally bizarre and nonsensical, possibly to distract attention from this horrendous lyrical faux pas. Can anyone out there top this one as the ultimate crime against rhymes?

 

[CliffH]

OK, what do you think is the worst crime against rhymes in the world of popular music? Some have cited Abba for the line:
"I used to think I was sensible, that makes the truth even more incomprehensible."
I don't know what the problem is here, it rhymes, it scans and it makes perfect sense. It was also written by someone for whom English is a second language. Next one is Journey:
"Don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling."
It doesn't even rhyme but it seems to work anyway.
Mitch Benn:
"Our lead guitar now takes centre stage to play something tricky and flash. Though it's a terrible din it gives me a minute to nip off backstage for a slash."
No not flash/slash, that's not the problem, it's the bonus rhyme din it/minute that is suspect. I can't decide whether it's awful or just brilliant.
Black Sabbath:
"Generals gather in their masses, just like witches at black masses."
Can you rhyme just by using the same word twice if that word has two different meanings?
The Beach boys deserve an honorable mention for their song Fun fun fun in that they cheated just by putting the word "Now" at the end of every line.
My favourite all time bad rhyme has to be T Rex:
"Oh Deborah you always look like a zebra."
It doesn't rhyme properly, it doesn't make sense. Zebra being the only word in the dictionary that comes close to rhyming with Deborah just had to be in there I suppose. The rest of the lyrics are equally bizarre and nonsensical, possibly to distract attention from this horrendous lyrical faux pas. Can anyone out there top this one as the ultimate crime against rhymes?

Neil Innes' Paul McCartney parody 'Another Day':
"You're so pusillanimous, oh yeah;
Nature's calling and I must go there".

 

[Vonny]

One of my favourites is from Still You Turn Me On off ELP's Brain Salad Surgery:
"Every day a little sadder, a little madder
Someone get me a ladder"
Think Greg Lake was pretty desperate for a rhyme there.

Not rhyming, but grammar next. From Cat Stevens' Longer Boats which are "coming to win us, they're coming to win us". That's had me puzzled for the last 50+ years.

 

[paultrose]

Black Sabbath:
"Generals gather in their masses, just like witches at black masses."
Can you rhyme just by using the same word twice if that word has two different meanings?

Geezer and ozzy have been asked about that many times........their answer has always been they dont care cos it works!

Crimes against rhymes?......i think 99% of rap is dreadful. Its spelt with a silent c

Crimes against music in general?......simon cowell should be put to task for putting the idea in peoples heads that they can be a 'star' even if they cant sing, play an instrument or write a song....and for turming the music industry into a production line of bland clones making bland unimaginative music

 

[Chris Hobson]

"...i think 99% of rap is dreadful..."

Does the other 1% Include Baby's Got Back by Sir Mixalot? Just asking because I like big butts and I cannot lie.

 

[CliffH]

One of my favourites is from Still You Turn Me On off ELP's Brain Salad Surgery:
"Every day a little sadder, a little madder
Someone get me a ladder"
Think Greg Lake was pretty desperate for a rhyme there.

Not rhyming, but grammar next. From Cat Stevens' Longer Boats which are "coming to win us, they're coming to win us". That's had me puzzled for the last 50+ years.

"The Christmas we get, we deserve" has always struck me as fairly tortured

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Many songwriters deliberately choose ‘slant rhymes’ / half rhymes as they provide tension and interest that really catch the ear, and pique the brain’s attention..

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

I’m trying to remember an example of a ’rhyme’ which works on paper, but not in standard pronunciation, but my brain is refusing me access to those files… (possibly because we have music on in the background)

 

[CliffH]

Many songwriters deliberately choose ‘slant rhymes’ / half rhymes as they provide tension and interest that really catch the ear, and pique the brain’s attention..

"I'm a poet, I know it - hope I don't blow it!"

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

"I'm a poet, I know it - hope I don't blow it!"

Ah those are too fully rhyming.

A slant rhyme might be

“They don’t need a poet, where I am going”

 

[Merluza]

One that always makes me smile is the Beatles "I've Just Seen a Face" where Paul sings something like 'I have never been aware but as it is I'll dream of her tonight' and aware rhymes with her because of his Liverpool accent.

 

[Merluza]

Here the one I've been searching for, thanks to my wife, "I'll never fall in Love Again" by Bobbie Gentry

What do you get when you kiss a guy,
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
Then when you do he'll never phone ya,
I'll never fall in love again.

 

[helli]

Crimes against rhymes?......i think 99% of rap is dreadful. Its spelt with a silent c

I am impressed that you have listened to 100% of rap to be able to draw this conclusion!
Seriously, music is definitely an acquired taste and it isn't until you "get into it" that you start to realise the quality of it.

I try to listen to an eclectic mixture of music although as I get older I listen to more and more of the old stuff and realise I know very little of what is in the charts today (apart from the rereleases). Any time I do listen to Radio 1, it feels rather samey. But then, when I was last in India, I packed my case whilst listening to Bangra for the first time. When it started, I enjoyed the beat but, as my case filled, it to merge into one, I am sure if I really listened I would start to distinguish the differences. I feel the same with the latest pop music or grime and a lot of classical.

 

[Dishevelled]

Quite apart from the fact that I really don't like Chris de Burgh's music, these lines have always annoyed me.

I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance

 

[Merluza]

Here's another, Mary Wells "My Guy". "... and I gave my guy my word of honor, to be faithful, and I'm gonna."

 

[Chris Hobson]

I generally don't like rap music, with the odd exception such as the aforementioned Mixalot song. I have seen Hamilton and the rap format works really well for the political debates which gave us this gem:
"You made a treaty with a man whose head is in a basket, perhaps you would like to take it out and ask it."
Having said that, my favourite song of the show is You'll Be Back sung by King George which is your pretty conventional musical number. I did like dancing girls playing soldiers in tight white trousers, that was an added bonus.

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

I saw a tongue in cheek tote bag yesterday and was reminded of the very slanty slant-rhyme in Pop Muzik

New York, London, Paris, Munich
Everybody talk about pop music

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Quite apart from the fact that I really don't like Chris de Burgh's music, these lines have always annoyed me.

I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance

That’s a pretty good example of what I was reaching for actually. Because he pronounces dance and chance with ‘a’ as-in cAr, romance feel like it needs to be rom[ah]nce. *Shudder*

Could be avoided with dance/chance pronounced with ‘a’ as-in cAn, but he’s too posh

 

[Chris Hobson]

I just remembered another real gem, Take The Money And Run by The Steve Miller Band.

Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas,
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is,
He ain't gonna let those two escape justice,
He makes his livin' off of the people's taxes.