coping with this

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colinw

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Hi everyone,back at work today its been weird,
I am trying to keep calm and not panic when driving and when i tested today i was high 10.
I am trying to not get angry about the fact that i cant have a sweet or a snack that i would like with my tea.
I feel that even my family dont give a dam about what my sugar is.
I know im just moaning but after really getting to grips last week,I want to eat till im sick and make myself bad.
Question is this all normal or am I nuts
Colin
 
Oh, I can identify with your post! I think it takes time for the family to really understand how things change with the diagnosis. My family seem to know it all when it comes to telling me what I cannot have. (they are usually wrong!) But over Christmas when I was in bed, ill with bad cold, not one thought to check if I had eaten anything!!! I think I experienced my first hypo!! Keep your chin up - it will get better - so they tell me!!! The best thing is this site and all the nice people willing to help with kind words and advice.
 
Hi, i at one point decided id "forget" my meal jabs to spite my boyfriend because he nags me about them all the time and drives me mental!! Hes been nothing but supportive since i was diagnosed but will never understand what its like. But that not his fault. i was angry at the world and took it out on him. Although ultimately i took it out on me because my sugars shot up, and i felt awful - and stupid!

It really does get better but you need to allow yourself the odd moment of feeling fed up with it all, its a lot to get your head round (ive had it two years and still feel like complete newbie sometimes!). People without it can only be so supportive no matter how much they care for you because, at the end of the day, they can switch off and forget about it. The luxury we dont have!

Ive found coming on sites like this to have a whinge and moan with people who know EXACTLY where your coming from works wonders!! 🙂
 
Be careful what you wish for!

Yes, it's all very frustrating - especially when it feels like the goal posts keep moving (eg DVLA rules) and there are so many influences on blood glusoce levles, some you can control, some you can't.

However, "be careful what you wish for", as you might get people asking you what your blood glucose levels all the time, telling you exactly what & when to eat, telling you exactly what & when to eat etc. Make sure they know exactly what to do in certain situations, and when to leave you alone. What works for me, is explaining the difference between "I need to eat something" and "I'm hungry" or "I'd like to eat soon", and why I'd like a few minutes warning and some indication of how far / how long we're going to walk / kayak / cycle etc.
 
thanks

thanks for info
Ive just eaten 1 hour later hypo dont know why same dose same food,argggggggggggggggggg.
Its good to get it of your chest lol
thanks i feal better
colin
 
Have a good moan & shout, stamp and kick Colin. Sometimes it's just good to let go. In my case I was in hospital with DKA when diagnosed - that shook my family up and they realised things would never be the same for me again. It's such a cliche, but it does get easier and this site is a great help. Stick with it, we're all with you.
 
Coping

Sometimes I get frustrated with well meaning family. I know that I have to eat, and of course the times I have to eat. Also the amounts, carbohydrate wise, I have to consume. However, after putting the required amount on my dinner/meal plate, I get nagged to the extreme, with remarks of, " that will not be enough, you'll have a hypo" The raised voices, I can take. Its because they are concerned, I know, but they really dont understand that I have to calculate the carbs with my pump. I do have hypos, not because I do not understand food values, but, since having a pump, it has improved, but in the past hypos were happening frequently. I hope to get to the stage when perhaps hypos will be a thing that used to happen.. As long as I recognise I am going low, I can then adjust my basal or bolus rates. Sometimes, I feel very down, because if they see me drinking lucazade, they start worrying. You all probably know what it is like. When I CAN administer the lucazade, I feel that they should not start lecturing me and giving alot of negative words. I always try to hide the fact that my sugars are low, even resorting to secretly drinking the lucazade. I know it is because they care. I have had some bad hypos, but I am really trying to get to the stage when it only happens every now and then. I feel that since being on a pump, my quality of life has improved. I know that when I go to bed at night, my blood sugars will not go down drastically. That in itself is wonderful. I have had diabetes for forty years , so I am not a novice. However I can understand the feelings of all newbies, because, since having a pump, I sort of feel like a newbie!! Crazy, isn't it?! I know that since finding this message board, it has been such a great experience, because most things that are posted, I can relate to. I do not know any other diabetic, so I have never been able to discuss anything re my condition, but this site is so helpful. You realise that you are not alone. Incidently, my husband has type 2 diabetes, and his words, whenever I calculated food values, were, "What are you doing that for, it's better to be over 10 than low. He thought that if the blood sugar was 13 or 14, that was fine. We had many a cross word regarding his attitude. It seems easier for some, to carry on as normal, with blood sugars reaching the very highs. Now I am very sorry to say, that maybe because of his failure to come to terms with his diabetes, he has kidney failure, and his eyes are not good. So all you newly diagnosed people, do look after yourselves, I beg you. It is worth doing. It's not that difficult once you get the hang of it. We are all being urged to follow a healthy diet. Well that the way I look at it. Mind you, I'd love to eat whatever, whenever, that's where we are all the same. Happy New Year to you all!!!!
 
I love this site so much. Because like so many of you have said, people without it can never understand, they do try. My boyfriend is always offering me sweets and things but i can not be mad at him beacuse he doesnt mean it in a bad way, he likes sharing.
The only relative who annoys me about my diabetes is my grandma, you have to hide a hypo from her which is very annoying, she thinks i am dying if i have a hypo, bless she means well.
Its nice to talk to people who really understand, its great not to feel alone.
xxxx
 
hope you feel better after having a rant and finding understanding. It is important to talk to people who just 'get it'.

You don't have to deny yourself sweet treats, thats a bit of a diabetes myth that we can't eat anything with sugar in it. I have eaten my body weight in chocolate after the past week! you just need to work out how to adjust your insulin so that you can include treats when you want.
 
I often feel I don't get enough support. I have made a point now of testing in front of the family. If I am high I then work out loudly all the things I've had and when I took my pills. Every so often someone will bring me in a box of choclates. Depending on my nood I either say what a thoughtfull gift would you like to eat ome of them for me or do you mind if I share them at work as we are having a prty for something. If I'm in a realy bad mood my rather ungracious response is what are you trying to do kill me?

Most people are sympathetic, but unless you have been there, you don't realy understand. Even when I see a doctor, unless it is my own who is also diabetic, I am told there are such a lot of things you can't have, which is not what I want to hear when I want to be made better.

I am glad for this site and a couple of others as I can sound off and get things out with people who understand.
 
I was diagnosed at age 21 and quite often my family will say they wished they could understand more about my condition but as I was living away from home I've learnt to cope with it myself, although they if course wouldn't have wished it on me as a child if I had developed it as a child they would have learnt with me and so would understand more. As it is they worry so much if I'm out of target range and ask what it is I've done wrong, which doesn't go down well when you're suffering the effects of a hypo or hyper.
However I really do appreciate that there is so much to learn about diabetes, and so much of it is very personal that if you're not living with diabetes it much be so difficult to know what you need to know and get that balance right between caring and interfering.
 
I don't want to derail your thread, as I appreciate you need to let off steam. I hope in that context this post is OK.

I think sometimes it is hard to know what to do and say as a relative of a diabetic. I felt so alone when my husband was diagnosed, and there did not seem to be any support to help me work out what to do, what I needed to do etc. The Nurse at our GPs surgery told my husband he would/could end up having his feet amputated and told me that it was down to him, not me, to deal with adjustments etc. I found myself wanting to beat her with a big stick as I said "but I do all our cooking, so surely I need to learn what to change", and I wanted to say "but what do I need to do now?".

I felt it was our problem, not just his, but I didn't feel the NHS felt the same.

I don't know what your families are like, but I think there is an information gap for people like me - I'd love to be part of a "diabetic wives club" on how you recognise and cope with sugar low moodiness and snarky comments, and how you find a balance of being supportive but not doing some of the annoying things referred to by previous posters.
________
FIX PS3
 
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I think families need support to Kate. In our household I am biabetic and my husband has osteoarthritis. Sometimes he is in agony, he is very affected by changes in the weather. We both need support for our own reasons, so sometimes it is difficut to deal with our own issues abd support the other.
 
the support should definately be there for friends and family too. When i was diagnosed my mum had also just learnt that my dad was seriously ill and my boyfriend and i had only been together 6 weeks!

Both have been amazing and i wouldnt have got through it without them. But it doesnt stop them driving me nuts on rgular occasions!!! 🙂
 
support from family

HI i agree that family support is very important since our boy was diagnosed every aspect of our family life revolve around our son and having all our relatives living abroad [i am italian and my in laws retired in spain ] things sometimes are difficult
 
Do we get more than the relatives

Quick question here!
All us diabetics get in most cases the help we need at the drop of a hat.
But how many of our family members are included or involved with our condition. Maybe thats the problem they dont get the info they need.
It is so easy for us sometimes everything is spelt out and the problems it may cause.
But how many friends and family are not giving good and relevent advice to help us on our way....😉
 
since my son was diagnosed only the diabetic nurse and my health visitors help our family without asking something in change and now i am lucky enough to have a very good employer in case of any emergency at school or holiday
 
Support

I am obviously very fortunate. My companion, although she is not my wife, is invited to any checkups by the diabetic team and we have an understanding at the local GP practice that where applicable we both attend advice consultations where relevant.
 
I am very lucky that I have a very supportive and understanding boss. When my son (non diabetic) was refered to Great Ormand Street for his medical problems I informed her as it would mean 1/2-whole day off work for appointments instead of nipping out for 1hr. She just turned around and said 'no warning needed. If you need to go then you go.'
Now with my daughter just being diagnosed she has yet again been very supportive saying take the time off if needed. Also have been struggling with it and other things a bit so she told me to take time off for myself if I need to .
I feel very lucky to have a boss like that.
 
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