Consultant Shaming

[Andrew Kennedy]

Hi All

Since being diagnosed a Type 1 diabetic Xmas 2016 at 27 years old, I have struggled to arrange for consultations from specialist Diabetic teams and information for diabetic courses.

This afternoon I finally had a call with a diabetic specialist team. Its clear that I am still quite uneducated when it comes to managing my diabetes. When explaining my management and current insulin measurements, I felt quite a lot of shaming come my way from the consultant. I have to admit, this has left me feeling quite deflated.

I was just interested to ask the community, have you experienced any shaming in trying to manage and get a grip on your diabetes management?

Thanks
Andy

 

[Lucyr]

I definitely did at my previous hospitals and at pretty much every GP practice I’ve been too. I’ve since switched a few years back to a different hospital with a great reputation (which took a bit of convincing to get the GP to do), and it’s like a different world since.

 

[Deleted member 21371]

Different as a fat type 2 at diagnosis.
But once I accepted it, my team were amazing.
I took responsibility, and they supported me all the way.
I know this isn't the same as yourself as a type 1, and I can't walk in your shoes.
All I can say is there all good people out there, and maybe it's us who need to present a face that shows we are reacting, or maybe we need to say the person we are seeing isn't, and move on to a different HCP?
But, never give in, and shaming isn't on you, it's the small mindedness of the people you meet.

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Hi All

Since being diagnosed a Type 1 diabetic Xmas 2016 at 27 years old, I have struggled to arrange for consultations from specialist Diabetic teams and information for diabetic courses.

This afternoon I finally had a call with a diabetic specialist team. Its clear that I am still quite uneducated when it comes to managing my diabetes. When explaining my management and current insulin measurements, I felt quite a lot of shaming come my way from the consultant. I have to admit, this has left me feeling quite deflated.

I was just interested to ask the community, have you experienced any shaming in trying to manage and get a grip on your diabetes management?

Thanks
Andy

Hi Andy,
just a suggestion for you.
Write to the consultant that you saw/spoke to and explain how you felt and your complete lack of care/education to date.

Many of them have no idea how they make you the patient feel.
Also do remember most of the consultants/nurses do not live with the condition and many just get their idea! from a text book.

 

[pm133]

Hi All

Since being diagnosed a Type 1 diabetic Xmas 2016 at 27 years old, I have struggled to arrange for consultations from specialist Diabetic teams and information for diabetic courses.

This afternoon I finally had a call with a diabetic specialist team. Its clear that I am still quite uneducated when it comes to managing my diabetes. When explaining my management and current insulin measurements, I felt quite a lot of shaming come my way from the consultant. I have to admit, this has left me feeling quite deflated.

I was just interested to ask the community, have you experienced any shaming in trying to manage and get a grip on your diabetes management?

Thanks
Andy

What did they do to shame you?

Incidentally, anyone trying to shame me about any of this would regret it.
I had my first consultant appointment a week or two back and I wrote on here about that experience. The consultant was a bit of a dick and that triggered a pretty robust response from me during the meeting. Hopefully next time he'll be a bit more respectful and treat me a bit less like the idiot he thought I was. He didn't shame me though.

 

[pm133]

Hi Andy,
just a suggestion for you.
Write to the consultant that you saw/spoke to and explain how you felt and your complete lack of care/education to date.

Many of them have no idea how they make you the patient feel.
Also do remember most of the consultants/nurses do not live with the condition and many just get their idea! from a text book.

Honestly, I'm not sure about this. It really needs dealt with face to face in the meeting. The consultant may not even remember the meeting and may not have realised they were shaming.

Mind you, not everyone can deal with confrontation.

 

[mikeydt1]

it all ways niggles me when we get these bad pennies but there are many nice ones as well. i got a nice consultant yesterday wouldn't of argued as he was built like Mr T out of the A team

 

[Piglet]

Some of my previous consultants have tried to shame me, even given me dangerous advice ( which I argued against) They used to make me feel like I was in the headmasters office and I was a naughty schoolgirl. I once told them I would rather stick red hot pokers in my eyes than sit in a room in front of them... Now I chat normally and they do seem to listen.

 

[Lucy Honeychurch]

I hear you. My first Consultant laughed at me when I asked to go on a pump. I was switched to a more pro pump Consultant, within the same Hospital, and now have a pump. Have you done the DAFNE equivalent? That helped me alot.

 

[Ljc]

I am sorry to hear this. The i too think it would be a good idea so write or email the consultant as @Pumper_Sue suggested . Your lack of knowledge no training courses ect is their fault not yours .
If this lack of care continues, contact PALS at the hospital.

Most doctors, nurses ect are good and really want to help, but their are a few who ought to know better , I’ve met many of the former and a few of the latter , I am one of those people who will quite happily stick up for myself or put them right.

 

[Spozkins]

Over the years I've had a few dsn's talk to me in a bit of a patronising way, as if I didn't understand the importance of managing.

I sometimes don't think people realise just what a minefield diabetes is though. A lot of people (and I see this working in social care) are going by outdated information regarding diabetes and so can sometimes expect that you should just have a grip on things without acknowledging that there are many factors influencing our conditions and it can be hard to figure out at times.

I think it's incredible important to talk to health professionals about this. You don't need to be confrontational but sometimes some vulnerability like telling them "you know what, jm doing my best here and it's hard" is good for them to hear. Despite the few bad eggs I've met (and we are all human), I have met so many more diabetes specialists who have confirmed that it is infact, really hard and have gone out of their way to help me.

I know this year a lot of NHS staff have been moved. Most of the DS team in my local clinic have been uprooted to work on other wards during covid so perhaps the person you saw was a temporary doctor or something.

Don't let it get to you though. You're doing your best and you should seen be able to access those tools to help you manage.

 

[Piglet]

One consultant at the North Middlesex Hospital over 25 years ago now told me that to lose weight I should increase my insulin and reduce the amount of carbs........ He got what for from me and I never saw him again...

 

[Ljc]

One consultant at the North Middlesex Hospital over 25 years ago now told me that to lose weight I should increase my insulin and reduce the amount of carbs........ He got what for from me and I never saw him again...

😱 OMG . Glad you gave him what for

 

[Lisa66]

Hi

So frustrating for you after waiting so long for an appointment.
I’ve always been very lucky with consultants and their teams...only once did a GP, during a non diabetes related appointment, suggest my HbA1c was a little high and I should really bring it down to I can’t remember what....I just said I’d like to see you try. He said fair enough, and was always as good as gold after that.

Anyway, I agree with @Pumper_Sue . If it was me I would write or email (maybe cc it to gp and DSNs). Then there is a record of your concerns. It is likely, in my opinion, to have more effect, as someone has to take the time to read it and appreciate you were so concerned as to take the time to write. Conversations can get a bit emotional but in writing you can calmly state your concerns about past lack of information and education, how you were made to feel at the appointment and that you would like to have time with someone to get on track.

I’ve always found my local DSNs to be really approachable, understanding and helpful and appreciate how difficult managing the condition can be at times.

Good luck with getting the help and I formation you require.

 

[helli]

i’ve previously mentioned the closest I have experienced to consultant shaming.
He was a noticeably obese locum who told me i had gained weight and I needed to keep an eye on it before it got out of hand. My BMI had ridentity from 21.5 to 22.5.

Regardless of his weight, there was no need for any comment like there is no need for shaming.

 

[SB2015]

I have been fortunate enough to have an excellent consultant since diagnosis. However I have had a variety of DSNs. One in particular simply did not get my approach to my Diabetes. I remember a DSN at DUK emphasising the importance of finding one that matches your needs. I explained the difficulties I had to my consultant and asked to change and went on to work with other excellent DSns. different approaches suit different people.

I agree with Pumper Sue that it would be useful to write to the consultant, and to ask for another appointment, to which I would take a friend/partner. It is very possible that the consultant was unaware of the impact they had on you (and no doubt in others). If you have no joy ask to be moved to someone else.

I have a GP with whom I do not discuss anything related to Diabetes, due to some very uninformed conversations and responses (“You test too much“, “He must be Type 1 now as he is using insulin”!,!.)
My response to was to write to him and explain. I also went in and did a training session with the GPs about how I manage with T1. I have stuck with him as he is a very good GP otherwise.

 

[trophywench]

I must be the luckiest person because I've never had such horrible experiences as other people have. I did have to have a serious word with the doctor seeing to me pre-op on the ward for my kneecap jigsaw op said the sliding scale was being set at 2u per hour 'according to your weight' - approx 61kgs. Hang on said I, my TDD is currently only c.23u inc basal of c.11u - and you won't be feeding me again for some time after dinner tonight ....... stomped off and said he'd check. Came back and set it at 1u/hr. Phew.

 

[Inka]

All my consultants have been great thankfully. I have had silly comments from GPs and general nurses and healthcare assistants though. When I was younger, I used to get upset and take things to heart and dwell on what was said, but as I’ve got older I really don’t care about speaking up. Diabetes is hard enough without unnecessary comments and shaming.

Personally, I’d phone and see if I could speak to this consultant’s secretary. I’d then explain the issue briefly to them and ask for an email address so I could email the consultant. Speaking to the secretary first alerts them to the issue and you can then also find the best way to contact them (some consultants like emails via their secretaries).

 

[mikeydt1]

i have experienced the bad pennies as mentioned but i think it is dreadful that people with diabetes be it what ever type are been treated in a poor fashion like this. there are systems set up to file complaints either with the health authority or PALS. i have had to go through PALS a couple of times over the years as the bad pennies are not acceptable.

 

[MarkGeordie]

I had the biggest battle since I was diagnosed in my teenage years. I was allocated to this paediatric consultant that would for some reason like to have a go at me at every opportunity.

I’ve always been one of those people that won’t just sit there and take someone speaking to me like that so I ended up in one clinic having a go back at him and telling him what I thought of him and having my parents go bright red.

I grew older and had a good relationship with my GP and she could see I was upset one time I had to go and see her. I think from memory I was due to transfer to the young adult service in about 6 months but she pestered the team and they agreed to take me early so I was removed from the paediatric team.

Such a relief.