Christmas Friction

[GlucoseGary]

Hi, all. Just wondering, how do you cope being in a "mixed" (ie diabetic and non-diabetic) household over the festive period?

My wife cam back from xmas shopping yesterday laden down with chocolate, biscuits, cakes etc. I tried to make the point that I won't be diving in to any of that, and there seemed too much for her and our 6-y-o daughter, and now she's really got the hump with me for trying to "ruin Christmas".

The point I was trying to make was that I now realise how harmful the idea of a "treat" equating to us all stuffing our faces with as much food as possible can be. Added to that, although my other half's blood sugars are normal (for now), she weighs more than I do and I want her to change her ways before she gets into this mess.

Plus, I won't deny, as my first "controlled" Christmas I do feel a bit sad at all those things I can't enjoy, and feel it's a bit insensitive of her to fill the house with food I can't touch, though of course I don't want to put a downer on their festivities. Maybe I'm evangelising like a newly-quit smoker, I can't really tell.

Have any of you found a way to strike a happy balance?

 

[novorapidboi26]

As a Type 1 its a totally different ball game...........

I would say stick to your guns, you dont need to eat it all, just treat yourself responsibly. The wife will see you being controlled and come round eventually.

It might take time to get the wife singing from the same hymn sheet, but in the mean time be strong and think about your own health............and enjoy Christmas....

 

[Northerner]

It's not a problem I have, but I think what we need to bear in mind is that, for non-diabetic people, however close to us they may be, it may never enter their minds that there is anything wrong with buying and indulging in these things once a year. Whereas we, of course, have it in our minds almost constantly 😱 I suppose it is very much like becoming a non-smoker - I stopped 16 years ago, but I still get the urge to tell people in the street or in shops to give them up and stop wasing their money and damaging their health! 🙂

I do understand what you mean though, when I was on holiday with my father and stepmother recently I was aghast at some of the stuff they were eating - some of which they actually thought was healthy (since they offered it to me!).

 

[Copepod]

Glucose Gary - I think that your situation hangs on the facts that you are newly diagnosed type 2 and have to modify your carbohydrate intake and not gain weight, PLUS as you have mentioned that your wife is heavier than you, she should be following the same principle.

However, most people are a bit easier on themselves over Christmas / New Year than the rest of the year, plus many are more active, long walks etc - I know that my shifts at a country park on 31st Dec and 1st Jan will be very busy!

So, perhaps suggesting extra walks might sound most positive and acceptable than restricting food?

 

[martindt1606]

Gary,

I probably have the polar opposite issue with my wife - I get the icy glare and the "what are you DOING!!!!" if I even look at a chocolate or mince pie.

As a Type 1, and fresh out of Dafne, I'm working on the basis that I can have a "free" 15g to 20g carb snack between meals which I am going to interpret (for the christmas period) as a licence to have some crisps, fruit, or small piece of cake 3 times a day

To offset this I will take a little more care counting the meal time carbs so that the base BI and any adjustment gives me a realistic chance of been within Target range at the next meal.

I'm also going to ensure I drink water throughout the day. At work i am constantly drinking but I have found at weekends when I drink a lot less (or practically no water) my BS readings are higher. So whilst everyoneelse can drink the Bucks Fizz, Egg Nog, Port, Mulled Wine, beer... I'll have a water - THANKS

 

[cherrypie]

I have 14 people here for Christmas and I can assure you that there are plenty of foods here that are not diabetic friendly.
If you keep on telling others what they should and shouldn't be eating then they will switch off. It is the reverse of the Diabetic Food Police telling us not to eat this and that.
It may be that the temptation for you to indulge is getting to you but as you are doing so well this will be a testing time. My advice would be to keep out of it and let the rest of the family eat what they like and as you steadily lose the weight and feel better in yourself, your family will see the advantages. Keep off the soapbox though.😉
I think there is a bit of the evangelist in you, you have seen the "light" and want to pass the message on.
Make sure that, weather permitting, you all enjoy some walking after heavy meals as this will be good for all of you.
It will get easier as you continue your diabetic journey, we all get caught up in trying to spread the word for the benefit of others because we do not want them to have to go through what we are experiencing.

 

[Robster65]

We're at my parents' for christmas and every time I visit, my mother insists on offering me cakes and biscuits. Bless her, she just wants to indulge me.

I, like you Gary, have evangelised in the past and try to avoid it now. It does get people's backs up but I'm sure some of it will sink in and, when the time is right, may have a positive effect.

As has been suggested, let them indulge over christmas and then maybe try for new year's resolution.

An approach that may work is to tell your wife how much you love her and that you want to share your life for as long as possible, with good health, and the way forward is to try and eat more healthily and get out and do stuff as a family (swimming, cycling, etc) as much as you can.🙂

Rob

 

[Twitchy]

I really sympathise... I have tried over the years to gently suggest to my m-i-l (who has herself been told that she is 'pre-diabetic') that as I'm t1 I need to be careful with the cakes/sweets (not even that keen on them lol) but despite that & the fact that hubby & I have both said we need/are trying to lose some weight, and the kids are too young to eat tons of sugary/junky food (4 & 1 1/2), she still insists on giving us a huge iced christmas cake, tins of sweets etc etc etc...which now will just go into work in the new year! 🙄 Any request for dietary restraint fall on (literally & figuratively) deaf ears. Her own diet has very slowly modified over the years but still involved an awful lot of baking etc, so it will be interesting to see how she copes if she ever gets a full blown T2 diagnosis. Not sure what else to say really, just try & understand that sometimes for the 'other halves' it's hard to remember what they can't see/feel - our diagnosis sometimes gets forgotten, or they can't appreciate what it's like & get sympathy fatigue. I'd try & be diplomatic & go with Copepod's idea of subtly getting more exercise into the whole Christmas hols thing...

Good luck! 🙂

 

[Mark T]

My wife has laid in a plenty of chocolates, cake and crisps for christmas 😱

However, since I'm not going to eat much of that I've been given permission to spend on myself a similar amount of money for little treats for myself - the problem is identifying them!

I might lay in some dark chocolate, since that's only 1-2g Carb per lump (and I can keep myself from scoffing the whole bar). My red wine budget has been increased too

 

[HOBIE]

Am pleased i dont like cakes & bickys ! Good luck gary i know what you are saying ! Show them you are right by looking after yourself 🙂

 

[GlucoseGary]

I've already got a couple of nice bottles of red in, Mark. One of the odd changes to my palette seems to be that wine (which I've never got that excited about in the past) tastes better 😉

I know you're all right, I can't expect everyone to follow my rules, and I'm new to all this and haven't got used to people's odd responses yet. Yesterday I visited a former neighbour and within 5 minutes of me telling her I've been diagnosed, she was offering me a mince pie 🙄 - I'm sure you've all been there. So I'll just have to be good (apart from my bread sauce 🙂) and get everyone out on Dartmoor on Boxing day!

 

[Tina63]

Well we are now up to 3 tins of chocolates and a damn great slab of the stuff!!! The slab is hidden in my bedroom (tee hee) and one of the tins (which my son isn't aware has arrived) is in the garage and I have said the others are going to be rationed out to each of us at mealtimes only. I think it's only right we all do the same as my son. Not fair to tell him he can't have any then stuff our faces in front of him, so I am going to be the chocolate police and dish them out each meal time. Now just to think of a place to hide them in the meantime......

 

[Steff]

Im lucky that ive battered it into my lot in the last 2 years, but my dad poor soul will bring with him a tin of biccies and a tin of choccies for our xmas, there still in the cupboard now will be opened on xmas.I find that continuelly telling family members makes it worse,I mean ive mentioned in the calender thread my fil and low and behold when he gave the presents to us Wednesday theres a box of diabetic chocs amongst my stuff 🙄

Just dont get to hung up about it

 

[trophywench]

LOL at everyone! - just because anything is THERE doesn't actually mean you have to eat it!

I've never understood why people be they kids or adults have to finish the whole box/packet/tin/bottle before the chocolate has even met the air let alone bloomed! - or the wine turned to vinegar etc.

Perhaps it's because of sweet rationing just after the War? - you got X amount of sweets per week; if you did eat it all at once, there wasn't any more, end of. Or you could have a bit every day and make it last the whole week. We were a bit every day family.

I still eat Smarties in 8's - one of each colour ......

And furthermore, the grandkids - all brought up to offer their sweeties round - never mind me having a Malteser etc. (one of my faves) Because they know I don't pig out, unlike grandad and cola bottles LOL So I do always get offered one, and they know I'm very happy with my one! Takes a while for all the choc to melt off, then just let the honeycomb disintegrate on the tongue - lasts ages!

 

[AJLang]

I've just been encouraging OH to do what he has done every year at Christmas since he was a kid - put himself together a platter of his favourite sweets. This year it includes jelly beans, smarties, marhmallows, mingles and fruit pastilles. He offered to put a bowl together for me..........but I would much rather steal his sweets, particularly when I'm having a hypo. We also have a basket of Quality Street but I know that that I won't have many and the rest is for sharing...........but I can't say the same for the wine and champagne

 

[Newtothis]

I've already got a couple of nice bottles of red in, Mark. One of the odd changes to my palette seems to be that wine (which I've never got that excited about in the past) tastes better 😉

I know you're all right, I can't expect everyone to follow my rules, and I'm new to all this and haven't got used to people's odd responses yet. Yesterday I visited a former neighbour and within 5 minutes of me telling her I've been diagnosed, she was offering me a mince pie 🙄 - I'm sure you've all been there. So I'll just have to be good (apart from my bread sauce 🙂) and get everyone out on Dartmoor on Boxing day!

Just remember Christmas isn't all about food and drink its about spending quality time with those you love and those who love you so just chill.... and have a blooming fantastic Christmas.... Amanda 🙂

 

[Ellie Jones]

I'm a bit perplexed

Never even considered requesting others didn't partake in the eating of foods, that I can't really have... Why should they forego something Just because of me

How can you expect people to see past your diabetes, if you'll always saying I want adjustments made because of my diabetes, family/friends will see diabetes first and stop seeing you!

 

[Northerner]

I'm a bit perplexed

Never even considered requesting others didn't partake in the eating of foods, that I can't really have... Why should they forego something Just because of me

How can you expect people to see past your diabetes, if you'll always saying I want adjustments made because of my diabetes, family/friends will see diabetes first and stop seeing you!

I don't think that's what Gary was thinking (forgive me for interjecting if it was Gary!), he has just come to realise that those dear to him may be jeopardising their health unnecessarily. I wouldn't see it as being about diabetes, but more about wanting others to experience the benefits of a healthy diet and lifestyle 🙂

 

[GlucoseGary]

Thanks Northerner, that's certainly a big part of what I'm saying: and it's not so much about eating rabbit food all year as simply getting past the feeling so many people seem to have that Christmas is almost a stress test for your digestive system 🙂

The other thing was, though, my OH buying as many sweets, cakes etc as she would have in previous years - when I'm clearly not going to be partaking of more than a token taste of each, which means she'll just eat twice as much 😱

 

[Newtothis]

Thanks Northerner, that's certainly a big part of what I'm saying: and it's not so much about eating rabbit food all year as simply getting past the feeling so many people seem to have that Christmas is almost a stress test for your digestive system 🙂

The other thing was, though, my OH buying as many sweets, cakes etc as she would have in previous years - when I'm clearly not going to be partaking of more than a token taste of each, which means she'll just eat twice as much 😱

Gary, can I ask what part of Devon you live; only because you mentioned Dartmoor and wondered if you're anywhere near Ivybridge?