I'm sorry you have those sort of feelings; I'm T2 and have them now & again but I see that you are T1, which must make things worse
The actual control of diabetes is relatively straightforward, the problem is doing it ...... for ever.
I do my best to stick with my diet and so on, such that my HbA1c is OK and I have come off medication for Blood Pressure and Cholesterol, but it's not easy
I have found something that helps - Tai Chi, which is a martial art but not as aggressive as things like judo or karate, it is more to do with balance and coordination
There is also a mental/meditation/motivation aspect which helps me keep to my diet and on the straight & narrow
You can treat it just as an exercise or go deeper into Life Force, Energy Flow, and all the rest of it, it just depends on how far you want to go down the Rabbit 'Ole
See if there's a class near you or there are loads of YT Videos, from beginners/easy to advanced - for inspiration have a look at Vivien Chao, but start with something simpler such as Taiflow, but there are many others.