Burnout

[WilliamJamesPrice13]

Hi, I’m new to this forum so I hope it’s been posted in the right place . Been type one diabetic for around 11/12 years now. Had it for all of high school, sixth form and now I’m finishing my university degree this year. Diabetes has never been something that stopped me from getting my goals in life, but since Christmas in 2022, it’s like 11/12 years worth of emotions, stress, worry and depression just erupted out, because of my diabetes. I’ve always been okay at management, but it’s like I’ve been behaving like I don’t have diabetes and don’t want to hear anything about it. It’s just completely threw me off course, it’s got so bad I feel like dropping out my last couple months of university, I feel always tired and exhausted physically and mentally.
I try to get fresh air and go one walks every other day I am able to, but certain shoes have started to cause my legs and feet intense pain, and I just feel like the diabetes is just dragging me down into a seriously dark place. It’s hard to stay positive when all I do is sit in my room, trying to be normal but know I can’t. Just feel like I’m burnt-out with diabetes, and to be honest I feel a little embarrassed as a 21 year old to say this. Beside sitting in my room, I’ve picked up some seriously bad eating/food habits, and a terrible sleeping pattern/schedule.
My family try to understand what I’m going through but are the generation of if you look fine your okay, so it’s hard to hear that constantly- which why as a young adult 21 years old I feel so ashamed of my diabetes and how it’s effecting, when I know I shouldn’t.
Any advice or suggestions with something to get going again if any one has one would be great .
Thank you for reading, and I hope this goes in the right forum post section
William,

 

[curlygirl]

Hi William
I am sure other people will reply at some point but I just wanted to say well done for reaching out. Knowing you need to handle things differently is a basis for doing it. I was diagnosed type one just after I left uni so I cannot know how it feels to have to cope with it through studying exams and new independence etc
I have had type one for over 20 years though and whatever stage you are at it is a constant condition that can be hard to cope with.
I have had times when I have really struggled to manage and I think for someone to explain the situation and how they feel as well as you have is good. I hid how I felt for years. I think there might be people on here much better placed to give advice but for me I would say tools are key. It does not change what we as people with type one diabetes have to deal with, but getting the tools that best suit you and your lifestyle etc is the way I found to change how much of my thoughts, emotions and time to feeling it was all too much.
If you are injecting would a pump help...if you are on a pump would asking about loop options with the nurses help...are you scanning or using full time sensor with pump etc Like I said people will have advice about burnout I am sure but from a practical point of view feeling you have a choice how to handle it hopefully helps make things seem managable on your terms.
Try not to be feeling you should or shouldn't feel a certain thing. You sound to have done a great job for a long time. It is ok to not always feel on top of things. You are looking to improve things and that is something you should feel proud of...

 

[MrDaibetes]

Hi & Welcome to the forum.

Living with Type one diabetes is challenging and what you're experiencing right now is normal, so try to be kind to yourself.

Diabetes UK has a wonderful page all about diabetes burnout, https://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/emotions/diabetes-burnout & if you need to chat with somebody they also have a helpline.

You've done the right thing by reaching out, keep being kind to yourself, you've got this!

 

[Leadinglights]

I know you are coming to the end of your time at University but there should be a student counselling support that you could get help from. Your department will usually have a disabilities officer who you could also speak to in confidence about your situation.
There are people here who will fully understand how you feel and there is nothing like 'talking' to people who have got through this phase and you surely will.

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Hello William and a big welcome to the forum.
What you are going through is a normal thing for people with diabetes, so please don't beat yourself up about it.
Take one day at a time, forget about tomorrow it is today that is important 🙂

Crap food bad eating habits = most of the human race. No food is out of bounds just as long as you inject to cover it.
If you record all your results then I personally found this made things worse for me so I stopped recording my numbers.
You might find just treating your diabetes as a pesky number will help.

By this I mean if you are out of range then correct either with insulin or a snack, then forget about it.
Take one day at a time and talk to people it does help.
I would suspect your pains when walking are due to your diabetes not being in the best place at the moment, so once you have things better this will improve for you.

Please do either check in with your GP or diabetes team so they can help. They have seen it before and do not judge.

 

[Satan’s little helper]

Hey William,

You’ve reached out with your concern.

My view is at the age of 21 I didn’t always make the right decisions? There was no one to talk too other than connecting with other “losers” & just hanging out. I couldn’t find any other T1s, but I did find an alternative crowd.

I’m guessing your parents are probably my age now. My parents (though cool.) lived through a war. (Kids during.)
It’s only natural to have these emotions. But having diabetes & the associated BG levels that come with the package, can compound the more negative thoughts.

Thinking back.
I can also understand the uncertainties approaching the end of a long period of education.

All your emotions are valid. There are many young adults “trying to be normal.”
You’re at an exiting point in your life. Find what’s normal for you.

When did you last see your diabetes team?

 

[Callista]

I think you've done brilliantly well for a long, long time, coping with a life-changing medical condition - so, so many young folk your age have nothing more to 'worry' about than having the worst parents ever (moan moan moan) and that kind of 'trivia'. You have been 'forced' into adulthood - ie, adult concerns, requiring a level of maturity that is probably way above most of your peers.

When life 'dumps' on children and teens, for whatever reasons (ill health, bereavement, unhappy family life), there is both a downside - ie, the sheer horribleness of 'bad stuff happening - and an 'upside' as well - as in, as I say, you will have, like it or not, developed a maturity beyond your age. (For which you have paid, and are still paying, a price.)

Yes, that is a huge achievement (even if it's not one you'd have willingly volunteered for - who would?!), but it can take a toll as well, and it seems to me that that may be what is 'catching up' with you now??

Uni is nearly always presented as 'fab' (or whatever the right word is for your generation!) but it too has ups and downs, and I would certainly say that the final year of uni is when the 'downs' can hit. Suddenly, finals loom, plus, too, the big question of 'what comes next' beyond studenthood. Even those without anything else to cope with in their lives (as you are coping with diabetes) can get hit by that.

So do, please go 'easy' on yourself. I would certainly recommend getting in touch with whatever pastoral facilities are on offer at your uni - sadly, some unis are a lot better than others in that respect. But I think it's important to 'flag this up' - however determined (and very understandably) you have bravely been to 'minimise' the impact of diabetes on yourself, this is the time to remind the 'powers that be' that you have an ongoing, life-serious medical condition. This can then be factored into your academic record, and that may prove to be helpful to you.

Stress is never good for anyone, and at your age, at uni, in the final year, those stress levels can really soar. I would suggest having a look at your academic position - I take it you are looking at finals this summer, whether exams or assessments. If you can do an 'audit' with a tutor, and see just 'where you are', and then, wherever you are, it will show you where you are needed to focus for the coming months.

Please, too, maybe look at the 'worst case' scenario, where the stress/diabetes 'gets' to you, and you feel you are not ready for finals. Would it help to say 'look, if I take a fourth year, it's not the end of the world'? Also, do let your parents know! We worry endlessly once our 'chicks' have flown, and we always want to be 'there' for them if you should ever need us.

As I say, it sounds like you've been coping with a challenging situation, you are of necessity mature beyond your years, and this is a challenging time for you, even outwith the diabetes/health situation.

One thing is for sure, you will not be the only 'young adult' student at uni coping with diabetes, or any other serious medical condition - and as others are saying, if you can make contact with them, that may be helpful to you as well.

You done so very well, for so very long - that is a huge achievement. Go easy on yourself now. Self-care is vital, on both physical and mental and emotional levels.

Wishing you all the very best, and that things 'ease off' all round. This is such a good forum for support, advice and so much 'been there, done that' experience to reassure you.

Kindest wishes to you, Cally.

 

[Callista]

PS - only a passing thought. The 'experts' here will address the painful feet/shoes issue, but if you really do have restricted mobility currently, would it be helplful to get to the library, rather than sit in your room? At the library you can't eat so much (!) and they are generally fairly restful places - plus, of course, you can do your studies there too (with finals looming etc).

As the weather brightens and warms, again, can you get to a nearby park, and just sit with a book, or your phone/headphones, and soak up some rays, and get the benefits of fresh air, even if walking is difficult currently?

Also, are their floor exercises you can do that enable you to lie down, taking weight off your painful feet, but still getting some good muscle group exertion? Is the uni gym very far away? If not, would the rowing machine be possible to use? You are sitting down, and though yes there is pressure on your feet, it is horizontal, not vertical (ie, unlike cycling or running), which might be less painful????? (Obviously, you don't want to 'work through the pain' if that is actually damaging your feet more.)

Another non-load bearing exercise option of course is swimming - if there is a uni pool, great, but even a public pool might not be too far away, though it may have restricted hours for lane/lap swimming.