Bad couple of days

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Persil

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Type 1
Hi everyone,

I hope you all enjoyed the forum meet at the weekend. Wish I could have been there. I haven't actually met any other diabetics since my diagnosis, I've only ever spoken to you all online!!

Ok, so I need some help. Over the past couple of days, I've been hit with a lot of bad news, and I'm beginning to loose faith. My nan has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease (I think that's how you spell it), a close friend of mine back in Kent is off her medication and on suicide watch, and my mum also has a muscle complaint which has taken a turn for the worst.

I'm in Norwich studying at uni, and I feel so helpless. I've always been one to see the magic in the world, even when faced with upset, but just all of this happening at once is making me loose hope.

I really don't know what to do.

Vicki.
xxx
 
Hi Vicki.

I wish I could say something magic to make you feel better! :( I'm really sorry you've had a run of bad news, it's horrible when that happens and it's so frustrating when people you care about are suffering & there's not much you can do... I honestly don't know what to say except that I'm thinking of you, and sending a hug! (((()))).

Take care of yourself,

Twitchy xxx
 
I'm so sorry for your bad news but things will start to feel better soon, even if its only that you can cope with them better.
I know what you mean about bad things all coming at the same time - we had a truly awful start to the year with my daughter 'loosing' both her grandads and 'gaining' diabetes in the space of 3 weeks, and for some time we just felt shell shocked. It does feel worse if you are away from the people you care about and who are suffering (my parents lived over 300 miles away) and its hard to know what the right thing to do is. I had to stay here to look after my daughter when I felt my Mum also really need me, but my Mum understood this.
Dont feel you have to quit your studies as I'm sure no one would ant you to do this' Perhaps there is a councellor (sp?) you can talk this through with - the one at my daughters school helped me a lot (as well as my daughter).
Sorry not to be more help, but you will find lots of support on here I am sure. (((hugs)))
 
There's a lot of heartache there Vicki. It's no wonder you're feeling it.

I can't even begin to understand how difficult it is, but can only say that you must try and keep positive. I'm sure there's atleast one person you mentioned who would say that to you too.

Best wishes,

Andy
 
I'm really sorry that you are having all of these problems, look after yourself lots of hugsx
 
Really sorry to hear what's happened Vicki :(
Sending lots of hugs xxx
 
Aww Vicki, sorry to hear about all this. Even amidst all this upset and worry I think you will find that you start to process it all slightly differently and know what you can do and what you can't do. You talk about faith but I don't know if you mean as in a religious faith or not, I do have faith and it was severely rocked and shaken earlier in the year when I had a stroke. I didn't want to think positive and couldn't see good anywhere. This is a normal reaction and you should allow yourself to feel however you are feeling and let some of the stress and emotion out if you can. Gradually I came to a calmer state of mind although I have my moments of pure terror! Just give yourself the time you need and the freedom to feel what you feel, pour it out to us on here or maybe you have good friends who can help you. Sending you hugs and hoping for better times very soon.xx
 
Sorry to hear all your bad news, Vicki, I remember sometimes at university it was so hard to be away from family and friends when times got tough, especially in the first term. A few thoughts are:

Does Norwich have a "Nightline" or similar listening service? A lot of universities have this (confidential but staffed by well-trained students) who might be of help if you want to talk to people not involved.

Can you pop home for a weekend to see your Mum/Nan/Friend? A visit home now and then can really help.

Try http://alzheimers.org.uk/ for some information about Alzheimers and how you can help your Nan

Write to your friend, ring her or send her a parcel to let her know you're thinking of her.

Hope that helps - not long til the end of term now, so you can start counting down til you can be with everyone at home for a few weeks.

Take care, post whenever you need to. xxx
 
Very sorry to hear of your difficult news Vicki. When I was in my frst term at uni my best friend died of leukaemia and I still remember how difficult a time it was. Make sure that your tutors know about what has happened - they can be really helpful and it means you don't have to worry too much about your studies whilst you cope with things if they know what is happening.
 
Thank you for all the replies!! I was in a bad place this afternoon when I posted, but since then have been for a long walk and tried to process everything and had a heart to heart with the best friend, who I'm very lucky to have at the same university!!

I've thought about going home, but I just don't think there's much I could do if I were there - I can't do any more for my mum than what my dad, sister and brother are doing, and my nan's doesn't talk about her diagnosis at all.

As for my friend, I'm in over my head. She's suffered from depression etc for a while now, and it's kind of got to the stage where I don't know what I can do or say to get through to her, other than telling her that there are people that love her and want her on this planet.

I'm in a better mind-set now though. I've taken some of your advice - looked into counselling services the uni has and things just to talk to someone. I feel it'll be easier to open up to a complete stranger than it would be a friend. And my flat mates know a little about what's been going on, and they've been brilliant, so I have a lot more support than what I realised.

It's amazing how much things can change in a couple of days!! Saturday, I was at work all happy and looking forward to Christmas!! My best friend's taking me to the switching on of the Christmas lights in Norwich on Thursday - she thinks that if anything is going to make me see the magic in the world, it's got to be something relating to Christmas!!

Thank you again!!

Vicki 🙂
xxx
 
Sounds like you are doing all the right things, it's hard to take a step back sometimes and we so want to make everything alright for everyone. Hope you enjoy the switching on of the lights, Christmas is a lovely, magical time.xx
 
Hi Vicki,

Sorry you're going through so much at the moment - glad to hear you're feeling a bit better. Be kind to yourself & just take things one day at a time. Sending big hugs your way!
 
Ok, so I went to the uni's "advice centre" today and have an appointment for thursday morning to talk to someone, and then they might refer me onto a counsellor just to talk through my problems, and try and see the light at the end of the tunnel. My parent's don't know as they've got enough to worry about, and to be honest, I'm not so bad that I feel the need to tell them yet - of course, if it all gets worse, I will. And I haven't told my friend who's here in Norwich either. I just think that I'm like this because of how much I've been relied on by other people, so I'll tell her in due course.

Thank you again for all your support!!

Vicki 🙂
xxx
 
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