Ashamed

[Patloyo]

Hello. First, just to illustrate how hopeIess I am, I don’t even know what a thread is, so the chances are I’m sending this to the wrong place.
Anyway, I’m in my 60s, newly diagnosed with type 2 and overwhelmed with guilt and shame because I am overweight and very aware that this is all my fault and that I’m a drain on Society when the country has no money. I have always been healthy. This diagnosis is a total surprise - picked up on a routine blood test. I have been terribly depressed ever since. I genuinely feel I don’t deserve to live, and certainly don’t deserve treatment. Fortunately, the specialist clinics and groups I have been referred to have massive waiting’ lists so perhaps I can just drop dead,which will suit me fine.
Apart from the official badge of shame, I’m also pretty confused. Is this a serious disease or not? Half the Internet says it’s incurable, but the low carb diet sites talk about ‘reversing’ type 2. I don’t have to go back to the doctor for 3 months, so surely it can’t be that bad.
I don’t feel I can tell anyone - not even my family - about this because of the shame of it, so I’m glad I’ve found this site. How do you all cope with the stigma? I don’t blame people for being disgusted with me. I’m disgusted with myself. If I was going to get ill, why couldn’t I get something like breast cancer that turns you into an instant heroine?
Sorry to ramble. It’s past 4am, and I still haven’t got to sleep, and I’m starving, but am terrified of accidentally eating something bad.

 

[Northerner]

Hi Patloyo, welcome to the forum 🙂

Whoa! Wait a second! Please do NOT feel guilty or ashamed - there is absolutely no reason why you should feel this way! Although weight is a significant risk factor in developing Type 2 diabetes, there also needs to be a genetic factor involved - half the population is overweight, yet less than 10% have diabetes. In reality, it could happen to almost anyone these days - in fact, 20% of people who get diagnosed with Type 2 are not overweight when they get diagnosed. Unfortunately, all the media coverage tends to push the 'blame' agenda, and the way you now feel is because of this over-simplistic presentation of Type 2 as being a self-inflicted condition.

Here you will find lots of lovely, friendly and knowledgeable people who will not judge you, but are all here to help you get things on track so you can feel healthy and happy again. You've already made a great start by joining us - and you made an excellent job of starting your first 'thread' - a thread is just a discussion, like the many thousands you will find here 🙂 Don't be afraid to try things on the forum - you can't break anything 🙂

I'd recommend starting by reading Maggie Davey's letter, which will help you understand things more clearly, without all the twisted 'facts' and myths you may encounter elsewhere 🙂 And do please get yourself a copy of Type 2 Diabetes: The First Year by Gretchen Becker (click on things in blue to go to the link) 🙂 Diabetes is a serious condition, but only if you don't do anything about it - the good news is that there is plenty you can do 🙂 And don't feel you need to do everything at once - take your time to understand and apply the knowledge you gain, nothing drastic is going to happen overnight 🙂 Were you given any medication by your doctor?

 

[Northerner]

Just eat normally for now, but concentrate on the type of diet that Maggie explains in her letter. It's helpful to start a food diary so you can learn your actual food intake, and particularly helpful if you write down the amount of carbohydrates in everything you eat and drink for a week or so 🙂

You can do this, so please cast off all those feelings of shame, guilt and stigma - you are NOT to blame, and you can be very positive about your future. Diabetes can't currently be cured, but it CAN be controlled very well - and well-controlled diabetes is the major cause of....absolutely nothing! 🙂

 

[Vince_UK]

Hello. First, just to illustrate how hopeIess I am, I don’t even know what a thread is, so the chances are I’m sending this to the wrong place.
Anyway, I’m in my 60s, newly diagnosed with type 2 and overwhelmed with guilt and shame because I am overweight and very aware that this is all my fault and that I’m a drain on Society when the country has no money. I have always been healthy. This diagnosis is a total surprise - picked up on a routine blood test. I have been terribly depressed ever since. I genuinely feel I don’t deserve to live, and certainly don’t deserve treatment. Fortunately, the specialist clinics and groups I have been referred to have massive waiting’ lists so perhaps I can just drop dead,which will suit me fine.
Apart from the official badge of shame, I’m also pretty confused. Is this a serious disease or not? Half the Internet says it’s incurable, but the low carb diet sites talk about ‘reversing’ type 2. I don’t have to go back to the doctor for 3 months, so surely it can’t be that bad.
I don’t feel I can tell anyone - not even my family - about this because of the shame of it, so I’m glad I’ve found this site. How do you all cope with the stigma? I don’t blame people for being disgusted with me. I’m disgusted with myself. If I was going to get ill, why couldn’t I get something like breast cancer that turns you into an instant heroine?
Sorry to ramble. It’s past 4am, and I still haven’t got to sleep, and I’m starving, but am terrified of accidentally eating something bad.

Patioyo Please. You are not alone and it is definitely not the end of the world in fact it can be the start of a new beginning.
I am 67 and recently diagnosed. Mine picked up on a routine blood test also.
Takes a little while to get used to but it is not as hard as you can first imagine.
Being here you have taken the very first step and welcome.
First of all use this forum for any question you have at all ANY .
Secondly, you will have worked all or part of your life I assume and paid your taxes and NI as I have done so you are NOT a drain on Society, you have contributed to your care and are fully entitled to it. Even if you haven't the NHS is duty bound to take care of everyone.
You should view this diagnosis as I have done and that is that it is a second chance to get your life back and improve your health and start to enjoy life.
And take it from me you can. I have a new lease of life believe it or not at 67, I feel 20 years younger, no exaggeration.
Overweight is not a totally responsible single factor in T2, there are many other factors and the guys and gals here will give you any information at all you feel you need. This forum is a godsend believe me. So, please use it.
I wear a badge of pride because I am doing something positive about my diabetes, I am not ashamed at all and quite willingly tell people.
As Northerner says do not believe the garbage you read in the press and look at the sources he has given you for reference, they are brilliant.
Low card diet you will surprised what you can eat, exercise such as walking, I never walked in my life now I am and I have lost 13 kilos since my diagnosis on Sept 28th this year. BG level under control
There is absolutely no reason to beat yourself up or feel guilty or ashamed. Again as Northerner has stated T2 can happen to anyone at any age and at any weight.
Stay in touch with the forum and use it, there is usually always someone on here and so much guidance that anything you wish to know is here somewhere. We are all supportive here. We are a all friends moving in the same direction with more or less the same problems.
Good luck , stay positive and hope we see more posts from you.

 

[Greyhound Gal]

Patloyo, DO NOT EVER be ashamed of having diabetes or think you are a drain on society. As Northerner has said, the media portray an incredibly simplistic view of diabetes and there are genetic factors at work which they conveniently always forget to mention😡.
This forum is a very supportive and helpful arena and we are here for you. If you have any questions or just want to have a rant, please feel free and one or more of us will help wherever we can🙂

 

[Patloyo]

Hello. First, just to illustrate how hopeIess I am, I don’t even know what a thread is, so the chances are I’m sending this to the wrong place.
Anyway, I’m in my 60s, newly diagnosed with type 2 and overwhelmed with guilt and shame because I am overweight and very aware that this is all my fault and that I’m a drain on Society when the country has no money. I have always been healthy. This diagnosis is a total surprise - picked up on a routine blood test. I have been terribly depressed ever since. I genuinely feel I don’t deserve to live, and certainly don’t deserve treatment. Fortunately, the specialist clinics and groups I have been referred to have massive waiting’ lists so perhaps I can just drop dead,which will suit me fine.
Apart from the official badge of shame, I’m also pretty confused. Is this a serious disease or not? Half the Internet says it’s incurable, but the low carb diet sites talk about ‘reversing’ type 2. I don’t have to go back to the doctor for 3 months, so surely it can’t be that bad.
I don’t feel I can tell anyone - not even my family - about this because of the shame of it, so I’m glad I’ve found this site. How do you all cope with the stigma? I don’t blame people for being disgusted with me. I’m disgusted with myself. If I was going to get ill, why couldn’t I get something like breast cancer that turns you into an instant heroine?
Sorry to ramble. It’s past 4am, and I still haven’t got to sleep, and I’m starving, but am terrified of accidentally eating something bad.

Patloyo, DO NOT EVER be ashamed of having diabetes or think you are a drain on society. As Northerner has said, the media portray an incredibly simplistic view of diabetes and there are genetic factors at work which they conveniently always forget to mention😡.
This forum is a very supportive and helpful arena and we are here for you. If you have any questions or just want to have a rant, please feel free and one or more of us will help wherever we can🙂

thank you to everyone who has replied. I don’t know how I would have got through last night if I had not found this site. And how I wish my doctor had given me Maggie’s letter, rather than just the promise of a place at a re-education group in a few month’s time.
Let’s hope I can find the moral fibre to stick to the diet an exercise.
I was not given any medicine, and she said that these days people don’t use blood sugar meters, but Maggies letter makes getting to know one’s blood sugar levels sound like a good idea. Do you all use them? Should I buy one?
Here I go, asking questions, as you suggest.
Thank you.

 

[Northerner]

thank you to everyone who has replied. I don’t know how I would have got through last night if I had not found this site. And how I wish my doctor had given me Maggie’s letter, rather than just the promise of a place at a re-education group in a few month’s time.
Let’s hope I can find the moral fibre to stick to the diet an exercise.
I was not given any medicine, and she said that these days people don’t use blood sugar meters, but Maggies letter makes getting to know one’s blood sugar levels sound like a good idea. Do you all use them? Should I buy one?
Here I go, asking questions, as you suggest.
Thank you.

Hi Patloyo, it is a shame that better information isn't given out when it would be so simple to do, as we have done here 🙄 However, you have a wealth of information now! In answer to your question - yes, testing is extremely beneficial, particularly in these early stages when you are learning how your food choices can affect your blood glucose levels. Without measuring to see where your tolerances for different things lie, you are just guessing, and as those tolerances tend to be very individual then general advice to 'eat healthily' doesn't always work - you need to find out what works well for you 🙂

I'd recommend reading Test,Review, Adjust by Alan S which explains how to use testing efficiently and effectively. If your GP or nurse won't supply a meter and prescribe strips (unfortunately a very common situation based on misguided efforts to save costs in the short-term ) then the one we suggest is the SD Codefree Meter which has test strips at around £8 for 50 (many High St brands will charge up to £30 for 50 strips, and the strips are the main expense, not the meter itself). If you need any more information about testing then please ask away 🙂 It has helped many of our members to really understand what is going on, and to tailor their diet so that they can reduce or replace items they don't tolerate well, but also retain things they enjoy and have a good tolerance for 🙂 You may be surprised at how much flexibility you will have in your food choices, it's not all nuts and salad! And if you browse through the Food and Recipes section you will find some great ideas for replacing things which commonly aren't tolerated well 🙂 Another good method of choosing food that will have a slow and steady impact on blood glucose levels is the GL (Glycaemic Load) diet - The GL Diet for Dummies is a very good introduction 🙂

As I said earlier, please don't get overwhelmed with it, take your time to understand and if anything confounds, confuses or concerns you, please let us know 🙂 I would also say that, since you haven't been given any medication and have been left to 'get on with it' for the next 3 months then the chances are that your diabetes has been diagnosed at the very early stages, which should make it that much easier for you to get under good control 🙂 You may also be encouraged by the fact that many (all?) who have managed to attain good control have become much happier and healthier with a new lease on life, I hope to see you join that happy gang in time 🙂

 

[Vince_UK]

thank you to everyone who has replied. I don’t know how I would have got through last night if I had not found this site. And how I wish my doctor had given me Maggie’s letter, rather than just the promise of a place at a re-education group in a few month’s time.
Let’s hope I can find the moral fibre to stick to the diet an exercise.
I was not given any medicine, and she said that these days people don’t use blood sugar meters, but Maggies letter makes getting to know one’s blood sugar levels sound like a good idea. Do you all use them? Should I buy one?
Here I go, asking questions, as you suggest.
Thank you.

Glad you're back Patioyo
You seem more positive now, terrific.
Yes I use a Blood Glucose testing meter and it is invaluable.
You, like me, were not give adequate guidance and like you I found this site.
Go through the forum look at the various threads and you will find eveyrthing you need to know. I repeat, NEVER, EVER BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS.
Keep posting and let us all know how you get on and if you need any further help.
The trick is to know more about your diabetes than your GP knows then you can start questioning the advice and treatment you are given.

 

[Beck S]

Hey Patloyo, welcome to the forum.

Don't feel ashamed for this. It really affected me the first few weeks because its all so confusing, but everyone here has been so helpful and made it all easier to understand. Ask anything you need and people will help. Good luck 🙂

 

[chaoticcar]

Hi Patiolo
I agree that testing is very important and I find that the codefree meter is the best value for money because of the strips being a reasonable price .It can be bought from Homehealth which is the firm that manufacturers it .There is a discount code for 5 packs of strips which is applied at the checkout it is 264086
CAROL

 

[Copepod]

Welcome to the forum Patloyo.
One fact that is often not highlighted is that the majority of the costs of treating diabetes are treating complications, caused by inadequate / inappropriate treatment, education, advice etc. Well controlled diabetes is far less likely to lead to complications, so costs much less to treat.
As well as diet, exercise is also really important in managing diabetes and body weight. So, free exercise such as walking, is strongly recommended. If you have a bike and can ride, more cycling or getting it working again is also great. Many areas have free or cheap cycle training schemes and / or repair classes, should you need help.

 

[Martin Canty]

Hi Patioyo, welcome to the group......

There is no shame or stigma in being diabetic, it happens, I put mine down to a genetic predisposition. This crisis of T2 is not because we are overweight, it down to what we are eating, low fat this, low fat that... No mention that the excessive carbs we are consuming these days leads some people to insulin resistance (which is, in essence, T2 diabetes)

My diagnosis was a wake-up call, my health was leading down a path where I would have been a drain on medical resources; now, coming up to 3 years in, I am in better shape than I have been since my 20's.

Despite what the medical profession says, testing is a valuable tool. Whereas diabetes is incurable, the "reversal" that some sites mention is IMHO "good control", my good control is down to testing, a positive attitude & understanding the affect of what I eat on my body (testing again). This site is a wonderful tool, you will learn a lot. Please share your stories & progress (good & bad) we are here to help & support each other.

 

[HOBIE]

Hello Patioyo. Think in a different way ! If all people who where T2 thought like that where would we be. I know lots of diabetics of all types & was at a local Duk group last nt & a lovely 80 plus yr old lady collects plastic milk bottle tops & raises money for the group. Bless her they can not be a fortune in that, but we all bring our bags of milk bottle top if for her 🙂. It sounds daft but we are a group & support each other. That group sent 3 young T1s to DUK "Kids Weekends" last year. Please look on web for a local Duk group & you will meet someone else who you can talk to. WELCOME 😉

 

[Mark Parrott]

Welcome to the forum.🙂

 

[Ljc]

Hi, welcome. I hope you are starting to feel better now. Others have already given you good sound advise so I won’t repeat it except to say their is absolutely no need to feel ashamed Their is so much misinformation out there. One of them is it’s all our own fault.

Ask as many questions as you need to , we’ll do our best to help.

 

[Flower]

Hello and welcome @Patloyo , very glad you found us 🙂

Great advice by everyone here 🙂. Drop any notion of shame and despair and replace it with one of pride in managing your diabetes as best you possibly can. Certain sectors of the media flourish on crass, ill informed headlines about diabetes and love to have a handy scapegoat. People on here are testament to how well diabetes can be managed with great advice, kind support, a positive outlook and a blood glucose meter!

I wish you well 🙂

 

[Bloden]

Hi there, Patloyo.🙂 Sorry to hear your diagnosis hit you so hard... I’m really glad you found us! Just take things one day at a time. We’re here to help.😛

 

[Lucy Honeychurch]

Hello and welcome 🙂
Like Bloden says, take one day at a time.

 

[HOBIE]

See how much support you have already 🙂

 

[Carolg]

thank you to everyone who has replied. I don’t know how I would have got through last night if I had not found this site. And how I wish my doctor had given me Maggie’s letter, rather than just the promise of a place at a re-education group in a few month’s time.
Let’s hope I can find the moral fibre to stick to the diet an exercise.
I was not given any medicine, and she said that these days people don’t use blood sugar meters, but Maggies letter makes getting to know one’s blood sugar levels sound like a good idea. Do you all use them? Should I buy one?
Here I go, asking questions, as you suggest.
Thank you.

Hi and welcome to forum. Ask questions and everyone else,s comments are really useful