Any help appreciated

[LB1968]

Hello,
My partner has been diagnosed with diabetes quite late in life and is finding it hard to control his bloods... he frequently feels depressed and I am left feeling helpless to make him feel any better....Any suggestions? I really want to do something to help him but I have no idea what to do.... Thanks.

 

[Steff]

hi LB they are many things you can do to help, being there is one , you might get the brunt of mood swings or the depression but thats what a partnership is all about taking the rough with the smooth, do you thin your partner would join a place like this? does he have good care around him r.e does he get on ok with his GP, if so maybe get him an appointment and the gp maybe sggest a councillor there not for everyone and i dont know your partner you say he was DX late in life is he likely to be intrested in councelling

 

[wallycorker]

Hi,

I'm a Type 2 who was diagnosed just over nine years ago. After deteriorating for eight years by following closeley the advice that I was given - i.e. "do not test" and "eat plenty of starchy carbohydrate". Twelve months ago I started reading about the matter and since then I've normalised my blood glucose levels almost mainly by changing my diet.

The most important thing by far as far as I am concerned is to cut back dramatically on eating starchy carbohydrate - i.e. cereals, bread, potatoes, pasta and rice. That usually leads to a big and quick improvement in blood glucose levels.

I've found that a great deal is achieveable through diet if you can get your partner motivated to making some changes.

Is your partner a Type 1 or a Type 2?

Best wishes - John
__________________

 

[Einstein]

Hello,
My partner has been diagnosed with diabetes quite late in life and is finding it hard to control his bloods... he frequently feels depressed and I am left feeling helpless to make him feel any better....Any suggestions? I really want to do something to help him but I have no idea what to do.... Thanks.

Hi and welcome LB,

You don't say what type of diabetes your partner has, or how it is controlled, or indeed for how long he's been diabetic.

Diabetes is a shock to many, if not all of us when diagnosed, it appears to mean we have to stop doing so much of what we've spent our life doing because we enjoyed it and had the freedom to do it. Diabetes doesn't stop us from doing everything, but we need to do things in moderation and be more controlled.

Your diabetes care team should be able to assist you as Steff suggested, often the GP isn't the best person to care for the day to day aspects of diabetes, your practice nurse who specialises in diabetes may be better able to support you, as to may a dietician.

However, nearly all of these professionals are text book diabetics, they know what we should do and shouldn't do, but they don't always appreciate or understand some of those things are hard or may not work.

Diabetes management is a team effort and part of that team is you and your partner, you need to make changes to your lifestyle to help them with theirs. In it together, you have to face the mood swings and anxiety, well you should understand how thinks are working or not working in your partner. If your partner is in agreement for you to join in all or part of the appointments with various members of his support team you can both learn, understand and adapt together.

You're in a good place to let off some steam, and to discuss how you feel and what you see. If you can get your partner to join, either under the same account or even under an alias 😉 then he can share his experiences with a bunch of people and I'll bet you a few here have been where you both are!

 

[Northerner]

Hello,
My partner has been diagnosed with diabetes quite late in life and is finding it hard to control his bloods... he frequently feels depressed and I am left feeling helpless to make him feel any better....Any suggestions? I really want to do something to help him but I have no idea what to do.... Thanks.

Hi LB. What kind of treatment regime is he on? I was diagnosed with Type 1 at the age of 49, so it has come quite late in life to me too. You'll find there are people of all ages here with a great many success stories, so hopefully you will find some good suggestions.

Depression is often something that comes along with diagnosis of a chronic condition, and in the case of diabetes it is often directly due to the raised blood sugar levels, or the swings in levels - normally, our brains are used to enjoying a very small range of fluctuation but when diabetes comes along it suddenly has a lot of new things to cope with which can generate other hormones that affect mood. Does he have regular contact with his diabetes team (a GP or Diabetes Specialist Nurse - DSN)? Getting good and regular medical support can be very important, especially in the early days after diagnosis.

If you can let us know a little more about his situation - type of diabetes, treatment, how it has affected his diet and activity levels, we should be able to give you some advice. At the very least, you have a great bunch of people here who will be happy to support you in the good and the worrisome, so pleased you joined us🙂

 

[Caroline]

Hi LB and welcome. You have made a good start in getting help and support by comming here.

Some people like gentle support, i.e you are around for your partner and you will help all you can. Listen to his needs and let him tell you how much help he wants.

But also don't forgrt your needs too. Much thoe you want to help hi, you also need some time for you too. Try and encourage your partner to come here and see what we all have to say, and then if he wants to ask questions he can do it for himself or through you.

It takes a little time to come to terms with this condition and it is a learning curve. There are many here who have been diabetic for many years and they are still learning.

Also keep in touch with medical team, especially the nurse who is always a good source of help.

 

[LB1968]

Thanks

Thanks for all your replies.... I'm so impressed that you took time to offer advice... I'll talk to him about coming on here himself.... Thanks again🙂

 

[PhilT]

Hi LB and welcome to the forum.

Try to get you partner to join the forum, it is a good place to vent your frustrations and get advice and what better place to get advice then from fellow diabetics. Between us we have probably experienced almost anything you care to think about.

I have been diabetic for almost 7 years and only found this forum in November this year and have found it a great place with a great bunch of people. I only wish I had found it earlier. So try to persuade your partner to join, they won't regret it.

 

[Caroline]

This is a very supportive forum. We will help if we can or point you in the right direction. Between us as PhilT says we have experienced just about all there is to experience, although some of us are still learning.

 

[HelenP]

Hi LB, this is a great forum, and you've had some brilliant advice already, just in those few posts above this one.

I'm not that good at the advice stuff yet, but I'd just like to add, for my two-penneth, that having all the knowledge in the world doesn't make it easy, just easier to understand and manage, and we all have days when we just don't WANT to do what we're supposed to as diabetics (some of us have more of those than others, lol) but when we're having those moments, it doesn't mean we've failed, or that we've 'messed up', it's just that, armed with that knowledge, we've 'stepped outside' the diabetes zone for a bit, and will return as soon as we've finished indulging ourselves, lol.

Of course, as with everything in life, some are better at sticking rigidly to their regime, and fair play to them. I just wanted you and your partner to realise that the odd puddles of weakness in an ocean of self-discipline shouldn't make you or him feel bad in any way. It's easy enough to step back up onto the wagon and behave again!!

I've posted this as a 'not always sticking to what I should, but happy' kind of Diabetic, and I hope I haven't enraged the unwavering ones who do so well at Diabetes Management.

xx