Any advice for supporting a parent with type 2 diabetes

[Cmpcjack2202]

Hello there,

My dad has type 2 diabetes and as a result has developed diabetic neuropathy which mainly affects the feeling in his feet, his balance and mobility. He’s been told that whilst he can’t reverse the current damage, some lifestyle changes might prevent any further issues.

My dad smokes, drinks each day and isn’t particular with his diet. Also due to his mobility issues, he doesn’t do much/any exercise. I understand that people need to want to make these lifestyle changes themselves, but I was wondering if anyone going through a similar thing has any advice with ways I can support my dad with making these changes and wanting to do this for himself.

I have batch cooked a few meals for him but they sit in the freezer un-eaten so that didn’t seem to have much impact. I’ve also sent him links to the diabetes UK website, including the recipes, foot checking and exercise. He said this was overwhelming and he hasn’t looked at any of it. It may be the case that I just need to stop trying to do anything at all?

Thanks all - really appreciate this. It’s great to have a place to talk as it’s quite stressful, especially when it seems someone doesn’t want to help themselves.

 

[Inka]

Welcome @Cmpcjack2202 🙂 Sorry to hear about your dad’s neuropathy. As he’s no doubt been told, improving his diabetic control should help. I know you said he said the information was overwhelming - I wonder if this is true, or if he’s just in denial? Also, perhaps he’s anxious about making changes? If I were you, I’d ask him and let him explain without comment from you.

It might be that his explanation gives you some information about how best to help him. You say you made some meals but he hasn’t eaten them. Could you look at his current diet and suggest some ways to improve it? Perhaps he’s resistant to any changes in his food.

 

[Cmpcjack2202]

Welcome @Cmpcjack2202 🙂 Sorry to hear about your dad’s neuropathy. As he’s no doubt been told, improving his diabetic control should help. I know you said he said the information was overwhelming - I wonder if this is true, or if he’s just in denial? Also, perhaps he’s anxious about making changes? If I were you, I’d ask him and let him explain without comment from you.

It might be that his explanation gives you some information about how best to help him. You say you made some meals but he hasn’t eaten them. Could you look at his current diet and suggest some ways to improve it? Perhaps he’s resistant to any changes in his food.

Hello! I think offering him a chance to explain what he’s feeling about his diagnosis and condition is a great idea. I think from an outside perspective, it can feel frustrating seeing someone continue their damaging habits (smoking, poor diet etc) but it’s also important to remember that addiction is at play here as well as being scared.

With my dad’s character though, he doesn’t do well with people ‘telling him what to do’ so my previous advice and referrals to this site probably haven’t gone down well for that reason as well. It could be seen as ‘pestering’ more than anything else.

With his diet, the suggestion of adding a side of vegetables to his meals has been put out there but unfortunately he says he’s not keen on veg and isn’t willing to budge on this. I’ve also encouraged him to have 3 meals a day, rather than just an evening meal but again there’s been no changes in this way either.

Thanks for your reply and I do think giving him a chance just to talk about his feelings without me offering up solutions is a great idea.

 

[Inka]

You could also talk about your feelings @Cmpcjack2202 Explain that you’re trying to help him shoulder the burden and that you’re not trying to criticise or nag him, and that you understand his feelings. Also, think about asking him what he’d do if the situation was reversed.